The Further Adventures of Captain Fuck-up

[thinkkank]

Caplog_Friday: trash compactor was really full today. I turned it on and left it running. Turns out it didn't crush everything. The turtle man who's in charge of the compactor thought I didn't turn it on because the trash was still there. He hunted me down and gave me the verbal beating of a lifetime. I tried explaining that turned it on, but he kept saying "how many times do I have to tell you to turn it on you lazy fuck, do I look like a baby sitter? Do you expect me to do everything for you?" I just ended up apologizing because I couldn't get a word in edgewise. I have never seen a green turtle turn so red. The yelling was so loud that other people had to turn around to see what was going on. I just love days like this. The rest of the day was pretty calm, but I was tired as fuck. I never get a good night's sleep on the weekdays. After work I run to catch the bus. There was at a red light that kept the bus from moving. I knock on the door hoping that the driver will let me in. He doesn't even look my way. I'm standing there knocking like a dumb ass and he doesn't even look at me. I can see people on the bus staring at me while I'm practically begging to get in. Finally I decide to take the L and walk to the nearest bus stop. Never been so embarrassed in my life.
I managed to get another bus and had one of the funniest encounters ever. this tall black guy got on and started singing "oh sunny day oh sunny day, no sign of rain no sign of rain, zippity doo daa zippity day". He announced that he would sing opera next and tried to, but just couldn't hit those high notes. He then talked to a little old white guy next to him and asked him what his job was. The old guy told him he serves beers at a strip club in the area. The black guy said "oh that's no good. I don't like being around naked women I can't touch". He kept asking the old guy if he would buy him beers and the old guy said "of course I would." The black guy turned around and told everyone in the bus "hey it's happy hour now guys, lets get beers. Someone call the fun police and bring em in here. You guys should smile more." This guy was awesome. He asked the bus driver if he had seen The Blues Brothers movie and I think the bus driver said yes. Sensing some hostility in bus he yelled out "okay guys I'm going to be quite now. I'm just a loud talkative guy and I don't want to be irritating, so I will be quite now". He sat down and was quite, for five seconds. He then starts talking about how his wife told him to leave the house and go to work because he talks too much. I truly believe that. I truly believe his wife found a job for him and has to make him leave the house just so that she doesn't have to hear him. He then starts complaining about the automated voice on the bus that reads out the names of the streets. He said he could do a better job and starts naming the streets we pass by. When his stop came up he left the bus and waved goodbye to everyone. That was genuinely the best experience I had that day. I don't know who that mysterious man was, but God Bless Him. Thank you for your service loud black guy, we need more men like you.
The only memorable thing after that happened on the next bus. A portly Asian gentleman was listening to some rap music and dancing along. I couldn't hear the music, but judging by his hand and elbow movements it was clearly rap. It was so hot in the bus that his gut was hanging out of his shirt trying to get fresh air.

Next Entry:

​

 

[thinkkank]

Caplog_Monday: woke up extra late and missed two buses because I knew my supervisor would love that. I've been told several times not to come late, so naturally I came extra late because fuck my life. One supervisor told me to clean up the work area. There were wood shavings and bits of long wood piling up so I had to clean it. Did that pretty quickly. Just while I was finishing up Grey tells me to drill some metal plates on some wood boards. I finished up the cleaning and was walking over to the boards when Greg yells at me and asks me why I haven't made any panels. Motherfucker you just saw me cleaning and you told me to make boards. Now you're mad at me for doing something you told me to do? He really knows how grind my gears
After that bullshit the supe called us all for a meeting. I thought he was going to say we have Thursday and Friday off. That has happened before. He turned to a lady next to him and says "what time are we supposed to check in in the morning?" The lady says "6:30 boss". I take a big gulp because I know what's coming next. He dramatically turns to me and points "you've been late every day, and I warned you twice". I nod and apologize. I already wake up early, I have to take three buses, it's not like I'm trying to be late. The only thing I can do is get used to being yelled at because I just can't be on time.That whole interaction lasted about 7 minutes. I am not about to let 7 minutes ruin the rest of my day
I had to talk to the same supervisor over a payment issue. They haven't paid me for a specific day of work and I've been trying to get my money. That asswipe tells me I barely work 8 hours. I bust my as everyday. Sure I'm late, but I do my job. Also i always finish my work even though I show up late. I make everything I need to make and clean up before the shift is over. most of the people I work with end up just sitting around because we've all finished our work before the shift is over.These people are determined to screw me over and ruin my day. Not happening. It'll be a cold day in hell before that happens.

Next Entry:

​

 

[Maudlin]

Ok, Captain Fuck-up... how many Supervisors can you lovingly fit in the compactor?

Just curious.

If, some sunny day you happen to find out... I dunno, maintenance issue, malfunction... a bunch of "holier than thou" know-it-all types rushing to out-do each other and fix it first (you can imagine the scenerio) all landing in the compactor at once, somehow with you there... diligently counting, all too aware of the lock-out tag-out procedure...

If you ever find yourself in such a sainted position, just remember the talkative dude and the old beer-monger, and do your best to adhere to your better nature. lol

 

[Forever Sleep]

A serious question for you Captain Fuck-up... Does Planet Bungle have a moon? I think I may have originated from there...

 

[thinkkank]

Ok, Captain Fuck-up... how many Supervisors can you lovingly fit in the compactor?

Just curious.

If, some sunny day you happen to find out... I dunno, maintenance issue, malfunction... a bunch of "holier than thou" know-it-all types rushing to out-do each other and fix it first (you can imagine the scenerio) all landing in the compactor at once, somehow with you there... diligently counting, all too aware of the lock-out tag-out procedure...

If you ever find yourself in such a sainted position, just remember the talkative dude and the old beer-monger, and do your best to adhere to your better nature. lol

I can make a trail of sandwiches and donuts that lead to the inside of the compactor. They would eat their way into it. I can fit about 5. My alibi would be that I ate some bad back ribs and had lethal diarrhea the whole time.

A serious question for you Captain Fuck-up... Does Planet Bungle have a moon? I think I may have originated from there...

Yes it had a water moon. Funny thing is the tides were massive, almost tsunami-level because the planet's gravitational pull was affecting the tides. There was an underwater kingdom that managed to live deep down in the water, where the tides had no effect. Once the planet went kabloom the moon got hit with a large chunk and split in half. The moon mermaids may have survived so yes you may be one of them.

​

 

[thinkkank]

Captain's Log - Stardate_Tuesday: It was a bad day from the jump. The power went out while I was asleep so my alarm clock which was plugged into the wall went off. Great. I usually wake up when it is dark outside, but today I woke up and saw sunlight coming out of my window. Fuck. I new it was past 5am. Work starts at 6:30 and it's an hour commute to the factory. Yippee. I guess cappy controls electricity now, or maybe the clock was a bunglebot the whole time. I was also holding in a massive shit. We're taking bowel busting shit. Superb. All of this a day after the supervisor told me to not come late again.
I thought I could hold the shit in for the entire ride. Nope. It felt like something was building up inside me and ready to blow. When I was on the first bus it wasn't that bad. On the second bus it was a little worse but I could keep it in. Third bus was when I knew shit was about to hit the fan, and the floor, and probably splatter on the walls and ceiling. I had one chance to use the toilet in a cafe, but I had to pass on it because I'd miss the fourth bus if I did. I had to dig deep into my mind and muster all the strength I had to not shit. I called on all the Saints and Ancestor spirits to give me the strength to keep my asshole closed for another minute. It was a code red, or brown. When I got off the last bus I had to walk up the factory. It was the hardest, fastest walking I've ever done. The shit was just about ready to leave my body. When I got into the warehouse I went straight to the bathroom and took the loudest shit ever recorded.
When I left toilet I felt like a new man. I felt several pounds lighter, I had a spring in my step. I felt like I could take on the world, until I ran into the Supervisor. He had his hands on his hips complaining about it. "Everyday you come late" he was so mad. I can tell he's getting fed up with me and its gonna lead to some nasty yelling down the road. At this rate I've made all the supervisors mad. Next on the list is the factory manager and the boss above him. I'm looking forward to the next plant meeting when the boss brings up punctuality and penalties in front of everyone and points at me.
The lady who replaced me seems to have gone. Greg threw her away. Miss her and her huge rack which I never saw or her bubble ass which I never gazed at. One day I'll get thrown away, but hopefully not to soon. The rest of the day went how it always goes. Made corners, got yelled at. Same old same old.
There was an old door, busted up and had cobwebs. Usually we cut them down to smaller pieces before putting them in the trash compactor to make it easier to compact. I cut up the door and was about to throw the pieces away when a supervisor came to me and said "that door was not meant to be cut. we are trying to recreate it, it's from a couple of years ago". A client wanted us to make a new copy of the door for them. They don't want a newer model, they just want a copy of the old door and the only way to make a copy is to use the original, which I destroyed. cappy outdid himself this time. he destroyed an antique. Everyone laughed at me. I apologized because I had no idea that it was a custom order for a replacement door. It looked like trash because it was so old and beaten up. They somehow managed to make the copy even with the cut up original, but it was time consuming and of course they blamed your boy cappy for it all. What a way to end the day.


Next Entry:

​

 

[Forever Sleep]

I can make a trail of sandwiches and donuts that lead to the inside of the compactor. They would eat their way into it. I can fit about 5. My alibi would be that I ate some bad back ribs and had lethal diarrhea the whole time.


Yes it had a water moon. Funny thing is the tides were massive, almost tsunami-level because the planet's gravitational pull was affecting the tides. There was an underwater kingdom that managed to live deep down in the water, where the tides had no effect. Once the planet went kabloom the moon got hit with a large chunk and split in half. The moon mermaids may have survived so yes you may be one of them.

​

Oh wow! Thank you- everything makes sense now... No wonder I spend so much time in the bath. The Bunglebot's have it in for me too... They must know where I'm from.

 

[thinkkank]

Captain's Log - Stardate_Wednesday: Came in late, nothing new. found that the nail gun had been taken. What a fantastic way to start the day. I'm already behind on the work I need to do and someone pinched the one thing I need to do my job. I did some other small things here and there to keep busy.
The supervisor got a new nail gun. It was still in the box, had the plastic wrap and everything. I open it up and get a whiff of that new gun smell. The sheen on the gun was beautiful. Within minutes it jams on me. A nail got stuck in and I had to try and get it out with a box cutter. Greg was nearby and was furious. Kept yelling about how it was a brand new gun. I wish I could tell him about the bunglebots, but he'd probably think I'm mad. Greg had to stop what he was doing to try and fix the gun. Didn't work. He asked Barry for help and Barry tried. No luck. While Barry was trying to fix the gun Greg is just talking about how I fucked up and ruined a gun behind my back. Classic Greg. Can't even say it to my face. Real class act that piece of shit. After 15 minutes it sort of worked. It would work for 10 seconds, then jam again and shoot air. Had to open the gun every time it jammed which was a lot.
Because of the jamming my work speed slowed down. The other workers were mad at me because I was holding up the production line. I was making panels which they needed and I wasn't making them fast enough. Had to deal with people coming up to me and complaining about how slow I am while I'm trying to un-jam a constantly jamming gun. Maybe I was still asleep and this was all a nightmare. It had to be, how can this many things go wrong? Larry came over and literally took the gun from me. He told me to sweep up. When he took the gun it started working just fine. Thanks bunglebots.
My supervisor is almost at the breaking point when it comes to me. I come late everyday. My guns always breakdown. When other people use it nothing happens but when I touch them they jam
I must be cursed. I must have pissed some voodoo bitch off. She has a voodoo doll that has a strand of my hair and she sticks it with nails and straightened staples.



Next Entry:

​

 

[thinkkank]

​

Allow me to take a brief detour to talk about how much of a bitch my room mate is. He's an old man, probably 50s. He is one of the biggest babies I've ever seen. The smallest thing will send him flying off the handle. He's divorced, and I can see why. He loses his shit over everything. I can only imagine what his former wife went through. I'm glad she got the house and the car and half of his money, that's just a fee for putting up with his bullshit. It's comforting to know that every yell and pout brings him closer and closer to a heart attack, and it can't happen fast enough. Fuck him, and his dumb little hat that he wears indoors.
One day I'll leave this place and never see him again. I keep telling myself that. When that day comes the sky will be a little bit bluer.
Anyways I just wanted to get that off my chest. We now return to "THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN FUCK-UP!"

 

[thinkkank]

Captain's Log - Stardate_Wednesday: I've been counting the amount of time I spend around Greg. Usually his yelling spells or rude remarks last for 10 seconds to a minute. He has these a couple of times throughout the work shift. Added up it comes to about 11 minutes. So the yelling lasts for about a minute and in total greg's assholishness lasts about 11 minutes. that isn't that long of a time. i can handle bullshit for 1 minute or 11 minutes. it's like a gym rep. it builds my mental muscles. i have several housrs to myself where i can do whatever i want. 11 minutes of my day sucks, but the other 6 hours don't. i have no reason to worry about 11 minutes
I was too slow today so one supervisor told me to take out the trash while they made the panels. I cleaned up and took the dumpster to the trash compactor. I come back and notice that the supervisor was gone and that the few panels he made were made the wrong way. Greg in his typical asshole fashion gets mad at me and yells "why aren't you making panels?". classic case of one supervisor getting mad at me for doing something that another supervisor told me to do.
the first supervisor that made the bad panel takes one of them, holds them up and says "don't make them like these again". he literally forgot that he made them and blames me for it. Larry comes along, takes another panel and says the same thing "if you keep making them like this you'll get fired". I didn't make them! fuck what is going on today.
got home late. was exhausted and needed some fresh air so I took a walk to the nearby park at night. park was empty save for one guy and his dog. I was walking past them when the dog came up to me and started barking. dog looked like it was about to attack. no leash on it too. it was a big ass dog. this guy took his sweet time calling it off. I was scared shitless for 3 minutes straight. hate dogs. always have.


Next Entry:




​

 

[Celerity]

View attachment 115960

Captain's Log - Stardate_Wednesday: I've been counting the amount of time I spend around Greg. Usually his yelling spells or rude remarks last for 10 seconds to a minute. He has these a couple of times throughout the work shift. Added up it comes to about 11 minutes. So the yelling lasts for about a minute and in total greg's assholishness lasts about 11 minutes. that isn't that long of a time. i can handle bullshit for 1 minute or 11 minutes. it's like a gym rep. it builds my mental muscles. i have several housrs to myself where i can do whatever i want. 11 minutes of my day sucks, but the other 6 hours don't. i have no reason to worry about 11 minutes
I was too slow today so one supervisor told me to take out the trash while they made the panels. I cleaned up and took the dumpster to the trash compactor. I come back and notice that the supervisor was gone and that the few panels he made were made the wrong way. Greg in his typical asshole fashion gets mad at me and yells "why aren't you making panels?". classic case of one supervisor getting mad at me for doing something that another supervisor told me to do.
the first supervisor that made the bad panel takes one of them, holds them up and says "don't make them like these again". he literally forgot that he made them and blames me for it. Larry comes along, takes another panel and says the same thing "if you keep making them like this you'll get fired". I didn't make them! fuck what is going on today.
got home late. was exhausted and needed some fresh air so I took a walk to the nearby park at night. park was empty save for one guy and his dog. I was walking past them when the dog came up to me and started barking. dog looked like it was about to attack. no leash on it too. it was a big ass dog. this guy took his sweet time calling it off. I was scared shitless for 3 minutes straight. hate dogs. always have.


Next Entry:

View attachment 115961


​

Is it possible you could work somewhere else? As funny as these are, goddamn, I would have lost my mind or killed someone staying at that shithole for as long as you have. Is there not a single person there who has any decency?

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Is it possible you could work somewhere else? As funny as these are, goddamn, I would have lost my mind or killed someone staying at that shithole for as long as you have. Is there not a single person there who has any decency?

are you asking Capt Fuckup or thinkkank, the writer of Capt Fuckup?

 

[Celerity]

are you asking Capt Fuckup or thinkkank, the writer of Capt Fuckup?

Both???

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Both???

I now also remember "work" means two things in this case:
1 - write the story, in this case
2 - have a job
Maybe/probably I'm getting it wrong, but I see it as "can you write this story somewhere else?"
While I, personally, would subscribe to the site he's writing this at a moment's notice, I also feel bad for the guy for this remark.
He's expressing himself creatively ( @thinkkank please tell me this is not a legit autobiography. Please...) and here you are telling him to go away...
I feel sort of "second hand insulted" from this

 

[Celerity]

I now also remember "work" means two things in this case:
1 - write the story, in this case
2 - have a job
Maybe/probably I'm getting it wrong, but I see it as "can you write this story somewhere else?"
While I, personally, would subscribe to the site he's writing this at a moment's notice, I also feel bad for the guy for this remark.
He's expressing himself creatively ( @thinkkank please tell me this is not a legit autobiography. Please...) and here you are telling him to go away...
I feel sort of "second hand insulted" from this

The funny just doesn't seem worth the misery to me. If OP has options, he should take them. No one deserves to be treated like this at the workplace. I like laughing at antiwork memes as much as anyone else, but that doesn't mean I have to stay in a toxic work environemnt with abusive bosses. Life is hard enough without spending that many hours of your day being shit on.

 

[Disappointered]

Yeah I feel so bad for OP. This is a crazy situation that no one should have to tolerate (even though I had to at one point). These supervisors are the types who cause people to "go postal". I'm just sayin'.

 

[thinkkank]

Captain's Log - Stardate_Thursday: ran late again. When I ran into the building I bumped into the factory owner, which is the last person I wanted to see. I wanted to sneak in through the back so that no-one could see me come late, but by doing this I ran into the one person that i didn't want to meet. Lady Luck truly has a thing for me. I put on my work gear and walk up to my station. Larry tells me to make grey panels, which I do for a few minutes, then Greg comes over and tells me to make black panels. Some minutes later Larry comes back and says 'what are you doing, make grey panels. I do that for a few minutes then Greg comes back and tells me to make black panels. This happens three times. It's the same old shit. One supe tells me to do one thing, then another tells me to do a different thing, then both get mad at me for doing what the other supe told me to do. this is sitcom levels of dilemma.
Just when I thought things couldn't get worse a supervisor named Tubby yells at me for leaving a step ladder in the wrong place. I didn't do it but he blamed me. This guy just keeps picking on me over the smallest things. He's actually worse than Greg. Greg is willing to overlook some small things, but this asshole complains over the smallest of things that aren't even my fault
It must have been "pick on Cappy Day" because another supe named Nelly is on vacation so the turtle guy took over. Nelly used to be on my ass on a daily basis about my tardiness ,but the turtle guy never bothered me . I thought he was chilled out. Boy was I wrong. He pulls me aside and takes me to the sign in book. He tells me he's been watching me. He's seen me come late every day and seen my go to the lunchroom to relax before going to work. This is just an outright lie. Yes I come late and I go to the lunchroom, but everyone has to put their bag in the lunchroom, which is what I do. I go in, put my bag there then walk out, go to the bathroom then go to my work station. This takes about 1 minute. according to him I sit down, put my feet up, roll a joint and relax while I count the flies on the ceiling. I knew he was full of shit, but i didn't think he was brimming over with it. The reason why he was reprimanding me wasn't because of my tardiness, it was because I wrote the sign out time when I signed in. Rather than write the sign out time when I actually sign out, I write it when i sign in. this saves me time when i finish work because i don't have to go back to the sign in/out book. I always leave leave at the same time because the supervisor makes us wait until the clock strikes 2:30 so I always write the same sign out time when I leave. Apparently I'm not supposed to do this. Turtle fucker was furious. Have you ever seen a turtle turn red with rage, to the point where steam was coming out of its ears? I have. The thing that triggered Tiny the Turtle was me writing the same sign out time. what a pathetic little man. I apologized and said I would never do it again. This little shit even went to HR and complained about me saying I was spending time in the lunchroom, which clearly wasn't true. He's a liar, an asshole and a little bitch.
If the day were a cake a yell from Greg would be the cherry on top. I was cleaning up some the work area by getting rid of some empty boxes. Greg yells at me telling me to "quit that shit and sweep up". The yell was so loud that damn near everyone in the factory heard it and stopped and stared. One guy felt sorry for me, walked up to me and patted me on the back asking me how I was doing like a goddamn wounded puppy. I get no respect I tell ya, no respect.

Next Entry:




​

 

[thinkkank]

Captain's Log - Stardate_Friday: slept 2 hours. Yay. Managed to actually show up. late, but showed up. Felt light headed the whole time. Today was particularly busy, had to make several panels. The boards were warped so I had trouble putting them together. I had to spend a considerable amount of time hitting them with a mallet to make them fit together. On top of that the nail gun kept jamming. Greg complained about being to slow. I tried to speed things up but the warped boards really fucked me. Larry complained to, then Barry. Some guy named Tubby also gave me a piece of his mind. A couple of minutes later he complains about a step ladder being in the wrong place. I never placed it there and he never tried to move it but he yelled at me about it. Some minutes later he yells at me for leaving some boards laying around. I was going to throw them away in a few minutes but I had to finish the previous boards I was making.
To make matters even better I get a message from my agency berating me for coming late. I explained to my supervisors why I came late, but they weren't listening, and apparently HR is mad at me too. Somehow I've managed to piss everyone off. If there's one thing Cappy excels at, its making enemies. Each enemy is a trophy, a symbol of my achievements, a token of my dedication to ruining the day. Once again the day is ruined thanks to CAPTAIN FUCKUP!!!!

Next Entry:

​

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Yeah I feel so bad for OP. This is a crazy situation that no one should have to tolerate (even though I had to at one point). These supervisors are the types who cause people to "go postal". I'm just sayin'.

I'm genuinely half expecting him to do that.

 

[thinkkank]

Captain's Log - Stardate_Monday: they hired a new guy to do my job. They also made me make the old panels that I used to make with Greg. I saw right through their plan. They wanted me to fail so that they could fire me. I hadn't made them in months so it would've been bad. I knew it was a set up but I had to do it. Greg showed me how to make them again. He knew what was coming. I knew what was coming. I grabbed the panels and placed them in order. Then i took the nail gun and started nailing and to my surprise, I was good at it! Really good. I finished the first panel, started on the second one and had no problems doing it. Did the third one faster, fourth one faster, fifth faster, sixth faster and they were all good. Greg was shocked. I was shocked. People stopped what they were doing to see me make panels in record time. I had entered what they call a flow state. I was banging them out at break neck speed. It was incredible, straight out of a movie. Turns out all those weeks of struggling to make the small panels made me stronger. It made my carpentry abilities better to the point where making the large panels was easy. The nail gun and staple gun also didn't jam. The boards I was using weren't warped so I didn't struggle putting them together. Everything went so well. No-one bothered me and time flew by so fast. Before I knew it it was the end of the work day. I felt like a million bucks. It all worked out. All the bullshit I went through led up to this moment. I finally reached my peak and things are looking up. I guess Cappy was sitting this one out. I'll miss him though.

Next Entry:

​

 

[thinkkank]

Captain's Log - Stardate_Wednesday: my record for being late was so outstanding that they promoted me! Just one day after blossoming into a full-fledged carpenter they transferred me to a factory that starts at 7:30 am. I'm glad they finally rewarded cappy for his dedication to being late. But on a real note though I really did fuck up. I have no-one else to blame but myself. The worst part is I had just gotten good at the job. The other guys were finally showing some respect. When you make the big panels they leave you alone. No-one yells at you or criticizes you. I was making panels in record time. The nail gun and staple gun weren't jamming. I had finally tamed the bungle bots. Time was just flying by. I was at the top of my game, then I get transferred. Isn't that how it always goes? You reach the top, then life knocks you down. Now I have to start at a new place and deal with new assholes.
I will fuck up at this new place. The unsuspecting staff are about to feel the full might and force of captain fuckup, last native of captain bungle and the enemy of orderliness.


Next Entry:




​

 

[thinkkank]

Captain's Log - Stardate_Friday: the day started off okay. The supervisor and I were making a panel. He leaves me to finish the rest of it. Some guy named Chris comes over and assumes I have no idea what I'm doing or that I will make a mistake. He tells me to re-cut some boards of wood to make new pieces. I tried explaining that we had already done that and that it was almost finished but he didn't listen to me because he's Chris the Cunt. To avoid arguing I cut the pieces and put them on the panel. Chris starts patting himself on the back believing that he did a good job. Supervisor comes to see if the panel is finished and he says it's all wrong and we have to re-cut and replace the part that Chris made me make. Chris was wrong the whole fucking time. He starts saying "oh we're both learning how to do this". How convenient. He bosses me around as if he knows what he's doing and he stated multiple times that he knows more than I do, but when he makes a mistake all of a sudden he's a student and not the master, but let me make one mistake, one tiny mistake based on HIS INSTRUCTIONS, and I never hear the end of it. When I make a mistake he starts tapping his head and saying "you gotta use this. you aren't using this enough". Fucking annoying, but you know what I can handle it. Despite being a dick he's nothing compared to the other guys I worked with at the previous factory. I handled much worse and Chris is a fucking baby, a fucking blue belt at the asshole game. I got my black belt sparring with the best.

Next Entry:

​

 

[NumbItAll]

#JusticeForCappy

 

[thinkkank]

Captain's Log - Stardate_Tuesday: woke up at 3 am. I thought it was going to be a great day. I'm up super early and I get to finish all the things I need to finish. Boy was I wrong. I walked out of the house towards the bus stop and saw the bus drive away. I figured the next one was a couple of minutes away so I went back into the house to check something. I come out and I see another bus drive away. Missed two buses. Great, oh well, one will come around in a few minutes. WRONG. Damn bus was delayed by 27 minutes, but no worries, I'm sure the rest of the day will get better. I drop off at the first stop and wait for the next one. I wasn't standing at the bus stop, just a few meters from it. I see the bus I need approaching me and casually walk up to the stop. As I walk the bus driver sees that no one is at the stop and just drives by, leaving me there. Ok, no worries, I'm sure the rest of the day will be better. Manage to get another bus, but it's crowded as fuck. I was squeezed up to some old guy trying to make conversation about how late the bus was. My awkward ass could only smile and say "right" "sure" "yeah" "totally". Grandpa could clearly see that I was in no mood to talk, and the other riders could see that the whole thing was just weird, but no worries I'm sure the rest of the day will be better. Grand pappy got off and a number of people left the bus. I managed to get a seat and rest my legs. Got too comfy and dozed off. Ended up missing my stop and wound up at the final stop which is a bus terminal. You should've seen my face when I woke up at the terminal. I had no idea where I was. Turns out when I was asleep cappy took over. Thankfully google maps saved me. I found a bus which would supposedly take me to the factory, but I wanted to ask the bus driver if it was the correct bus to be sure. The asshole clicked his mouth and ignored me. I'm starting to think this might be a bad day. I brush it off and sit in the bus, this time trying to keep myself awake. It's hot as shit and the AC isn't on so I'm drenched in sweat even though it's the morning. Did I mention I was late? I was pretty goddamn late. Bus arrived at my stop. Walked out and had to walk some meters to the correct road. There was some construction work so the places where you cross the road changed. I had to cross at an intersection and there were a lot of cars. I stood at the wrong spot, thinking it was the right spot, and waited 10 minutes before realizing I was at the wrong place. Finally managed to cross the street and had to walk 19 minutes to the factory.
My nightmare was finally over. Supervisor yelled at me for being late, but I could handle it. I'm used to the fuckups being spread out through out the day, but it's rare to have back to back fuckups like that.

Next Entry:

​

 

[thinkkank]

Captain's Log - Stardate_Thursday: the classic gag of one guy telling me to do something and another guy telling me to do something completely different has reared its ugly head again. Supervisor told me to cut some panels with specific dimensions, which I did. Those dimensions were based on the instruction manual we have on how to make panels. Problem is the panels were meant to be a replacement for something, and the original panels had custom dimensions. so the problem is, do you make the panels based on the instructions or based on the custom dimensions for the specific product. I did the former first, but Chris, who was replacing the panels, found that the originals had custom dimensions, so he told me to remove and re-cut the boards to match the custom dimensions. The supervisor was away when we did this. Supervisor comes back and says we fucked up by cutting the boards to the custom size. Had to redo everything. I walked away to get something, but with the corner of my eye I saw Chris and the supe talk about something, probably the fuck up. Chris is such a piece of shit that he told the supe that it was my idea to cut the boards.
Long story short I got blamed. The supe was mad at me. The plant manager was mad at me. I have a knack, you could even call it a superpower, for making people angry.
I learned how to deal with all of this back in the old factory, so I'm prepared for this nonsense. The trick is to do everything you're told, but keep track of who told you to do it. Even if you disagree, just do it but remember the name of the person. When things go wrong and they come to you tell them "so and so told me to do it". If they decide to still blame you, which they probably will, let it go. You followed orders. If you do what you think is right and things go wrong they are even angrier at you, and I've learned this the hard way, so just do what they tell you.
I've learned to just completely let go when I'm at work. This job is just measuring shit, cutting shit, drilling shit and stapling shit. That's it. I turn my brain off when I do these things. When the clock strikes 4pm I get out as fast as I can and I live my life. I leave the bullshit back in the factory and I enjoy the rest of my day.
Got through the shift and decided to treat myself by buying some stuff at the grocery store. Out of nowhere this toothache hit me in the middle of the store. My mind was all over the place. The pain was excruciating. I couldn't find what I was looking for in the store so I wanted to go to the dollar store nearby. The grocery store and the dollar store were in the same mall and there was a tunnel entrance to the mall that would lead me to the dollar store. I was walking through it and a security guard walked up to me with the meanest face and said "sir what are you doing?" I tried explaining that I was going to the mall. Every time a word left my mouth the pain shot up so the words stumbled out. She told me the mall was closed. I apologized and walked back. At this stage I was stumbling, I had to lie down because I was feeling woozy. I walked the other way back to the store and saw an entrance. As I was walking another guard was walking towards me because he thought I was up to something. I abruptly turned towards the exit and left. It wasn't because I was trying to escape but because I was already moving that way when I saw the other guard. He must've thought that I was trying to escape him because I just shifted left in this weird way. He followed me out of the store and trailed me as I walked to the bus stop. He eventually walked back, but boy did I make a bad impression.


Next Entry:

​

 

[thinkkank]

Captain's Log - Stardate_Monday: start off the morning with Chris being a bitch. He told me to replace a panel that had been broken. We tried removing the broken piece of the panel from the rest of the panel but it was too hard so we had to make a new one. He kept yelling at me when I was taking a bit longer than usual to cut it measure. Its official, he is the villain in this chapter. He's one of those assholes that bosses people around.
Things were going okay after that until an old friend appeared. the nail gun I was using turned out to be a bunglebot the whole time. it had remained hidden for days, but it finally revealed itself. The gun stopped working so I had to put it away.
There was a new gun in storage so they brought that out and gave it to me. Shot a few nails into a panel to test it out, then out of nowhere the power went out. Pitch black. Turns out the whole warehouse power grid was a bunglebot too! There was supposed to be a generator but for whatever reason it didn't turn on.
Some people went out for a smoke while they waited, I just went to the cafeteria room to wait it out. Took about an hour for them to come back. I considered it a mini-vacay, so it wasn't so bad after all.


Next Entry:


​

 

[Forever Sleep]

I love your posts. It's like when one of your favourite shows releases a new episode. Not that I delight in your mysery. More that I really relate. It's nice not to feel alone messing everything up.

 

[thinkkank]

This year Cappy decided to celebrate New Years a little different. He decided to venture out into the world and socialize. There were some fireworks displays that I wanted to see all week and I psyched myself up. "It's gonna be great" I said. "This year it's gonna be different" I said. If I can finally make it to this event it'll be the start of a brand new Cappy, a christening to a new year of possibilities. I was right about one thing, it sure was different.
I decided to load up my bus card before going to the event. I had an hour to spare so I went to the nearest station to do that. The first bus I took was crowded as shit. While I was squeezed in with my fellow New Yearers I noticed a foul smell hitting my nose. I thought it was one of the passengers who let one rip or didn't shower. Then I noticed that the people next to me were trying to move away from me, which was difficult because they were sandwiched between four to five other people, but they did try their best. Then it dawned on me, I'm the stinky one. Is it my shoes? Did I step on something? Did my trousers brush up against something foul? I couldn't do anything about it because the bus ride was 30 minutes long. I had to stand there with the stink the whole time.
As the bus arrived at the station it began to snow. I thought it would pass, but the weather had other ideas. I finally arrived at the station and tried to put coins in the machine. Turns out the machine only accepts $5 minimum and I didn't have enough. No problem, it's New Year and I won't let something like that ruin my evening
I decided to take the bus home to drop the coins off and take a leak. The weather took a turn for the worst but I figured it would get better by midnight
The bus back was even more crowded than the last one. I was so close to the other passengers that I could hear their heart beat. I managed to put the coins back and relieve myself. The evening seemed fine.
The fireworks display was out of town so I had to travel for an hour and a half. I arrived at one of the stops between towns and I was looking for the stop I needed. I had to walk up the street for 18 minutes because google maps said the one I needed was just up ahead.
As I was walking I saw the bus I needed drive right past me. Turns out the stop was down the street and according to google the next one was at 01:30 AM. Fuck. Now I have to find a way to the fireworks show, but midnight is an hour away.
Google was no help whatsoever, giving me bus routes that were an average of 2 hours. I decided to take the nearest bus and figure out a route on the way.
Turns out using google maps on a moving vehicle wasn't a great idea either. I had to wait for the bus to stop to get out and find my way. Bus stopped at some small loop. The driver stopped for several minutes instead of driving away, I think it's some kind of transit rule. I got out and quickly used google to find a way to the show. Google showed me that the fastest way was by using the same bus I got out of. I quickly ran back in before it drove away.
Bus took me to the subway station where I had to take the next train to the place where the show was happening. The station was packed. I had to squeeze my way through them to get to the train. For some reason a lot of them had pizza boxes, which makes me wonder if pizza was free on new years.
Took the train to the appropriate stop and got out to the bus stop. At this stage it was freezing cold. I had to stand there for 20 minutes waiting for a bus that google said was going to arrive.
I finally just gave up. I looked at the cold dark sky and accepted my fate. I finally realized that the universe wanted me to stay home for New Years. I decided to at least get something for my efforts and went to a 24 hour burger place. For some reason the only burgers they had were tiny, they could fit in the palm of my hand and there was still space. I waited for at least an hour for the bus to arrive, but it never came. Had to trek back home for 35 minutes in arctic weather.
Finally got back home and heated up my sorry-ass burger and fries and ate it with a tear coming down my eye.
Happy New Year Cappy. Happy New Year.
​

 

[Pluto]

I was wondering where the Captain had been. Seasons greetings!

 

[thinkkank]

NOTE: these notes were written before I lost my job. I'll still post the notes I have left because it helps me get through this period.

Captain's Log - Stardate_Monday: slept 3 hours. Not great. Managed to get to work early. Great! Had too many panels to make. Not great. Work seemed to speed by as a result of the sheer amount of shit I had to do, so I was quickly approaching the end of the work day. Great! Factory boss tells me there's some panel that needs to be fixed asap. I go to the panel and assess the damage and I figure I can remove and replace a few boards. Seemed simple enough. It took several minutes and those damn boards just wouldn't come off. Our old buddy Chris the catastrophe walks by and says I have to make a new panel. I was apprehensive at first but it looked like it had to be done. Chris and I have different ways of working and those ways just are not compatible.
At this stage the three hours of sleep were beginning to show. I was feeling light-headed, my arms wouldn't stay up so lifting anything was a nightmare. My head was swaying back and forth sometimes. I was about to collapse.
I had to take it real slow, problem was the board was being shipped that day so I had to pick up the pace, which made me more exhausted and slowed me down which meant I had to pick up the pace even more.
By some miracle I finished the panel and it was shipped. When the work day ended I managed to get back home. I just laid on my bed and just passed out.

Next Entry:


​