Method The difference in mind set when I was thinking about suicide at 20 vs 40_

[lostforever77]

When I was 20 I tried to kill myself by drinking a 6 pack and taking a bottle of sleep pills. My only thought process was how can I kill myself, and not leave the bedroom. I wanted to die, I had a really bad life, but at the same time there was a part of me that thought he had his whole future ahead of him.

Now that I am in my late 40's and have basically been broken, my mindset is different. I am just looking at straight numbers, what will put me 6 feet under the quickest and most reliably, which since I am in the states would mean a gun. Its really hard to get over 90 percent success rate any other way outside of jumping off of a 100 story building. Also, if there was a failure of a suicide attempt at my age, I could not even imagine being in a mental hospital now, did that back then too.

That is not to say that I don't like thinking about other methods as well. Like getting drunk and swimming out into the ocean is one of my favorites. However if there was a pill that I could take and just close my eyes and never open them I would. Honestly support unrestricted assisted suicide. Could you imagine if we were able to have these really hard conversations with our doctors? Just get a script from him, go home and wrap everything up, then warp everything up.

Just my 2 cents on suicide and how the mind set is different depending on where you are in life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've always wished for a suicide pill like that, it'd be such a relief to just easily choose to never wake again in peace, it's cruel how suicide is purposely made so inaccessible.