Nitlott
"Wowee!"
- Feb 17, 2026
- 17
Pretty straightforward.
There was a time when I hated my face and body. Well, not hated, but I perceived them as something disgusting. I looked in mirrors only if I really had to and I didn't like looking at my face. I wore a mask to school even after covid because I liked how it hid half of my face. There was a guy that even tore my mask off but I got to punch him in his dick a year after so it's fine lol. I remember texting my friend saying that I'm scared to go without it. Had no other choice so I got rid of it, still remember how it hit me that nothing happened because of it. The world didn't collapse and I felt fine if not better.
It probably was rooted in low self-esteem. But I didn't really hate how, uh, my nose looked or something. I didn't like how my nose looked because it was my nose, you know? Maybe it's more of a self hatred thingy.
I don't feel like typing the whole story out so it's a, uh, compressed version of it. I want to finally turn over the page on this one.
But the part that I want to share is that I got over it! I like to look at myself in the mirror, and I genuinely like taking care of myself. I'm proud of myself to be honest, it feels wild knowing that I couldn't bring myself to brush my teeth or shower and now I enjoy and willingly do it. There are still times when I feel a little shitty, but don't we all do? My mindset and worldview definitely changed, so it may or may not be the reason for it, I don't know. Maybe I just grew out of it. The next thing I'm working on is eating in public. I used to find the idea of me eating disgusting too so the biggest I could do at lunch is to eat in really small bites, if eat at all. It kinda ruins the rare hangouts we have with my close friend because I decline every offer of going to a cafe or restaurant lol. But the last time we met outside school guess what? I ate food normally. Crazy work, I know. Still I'm nowhere near his speed lol. And I don't feel weak and hungry because I really eat at lunch. Who knew that you can go about your day without constant headaches.
Maybe it sound tiny but these things are probably a win for me. Even if it's a tiny win. I don't mind waving my tiny flag. It's wild noticing how drastically things can change in, what? 3 years? And for the better too... It feels nice
There was a time when I hated my face and body. Well, not hated, but I perceived them as something disgusting. I looked in mirrors only if I really had to and I didn't like looking at my face. I wore a mask to school even after covid because I liked how it hid half of my face. There was a guy that even tore my mask off but I got to punch him in his dick a year after so it's fine lol. I remember texting my friend saying that I'm scared to go without it. Had no other choice so I got rid of it, still remember how it hit me that nothing happened because of it. The world didn't collapse and I felt fine if not better.
It probably was rooted in low self-esteem. But I didn't really hate how, uh, my nose looked or something. I didn't like how my nose looked because it was my nose, you know? Maybe it's more of a self hatred thingy.
I don't feel like typing the whole story out so it's a, uh, compressed version of it. I want to finally turn over the page on this one.
But the part that I want to share is that I got over it! I like to look at myself in the mirror, and I genuinely like taking care of myself. I'm proud of myself to be honest, it feels wild knowing that I couldn't bring myself to brush my teeth or shower and now I enjoy and willingly do it. There are still times when I feel a little shitty, but don't we all do? My mindset and worldview definitely changed, so it may or may not be the reason for it, I don't know. Maybe I just grew out of it. The next thing I'm working on is eating in public. I used to find the idea of me eating disgusting too so the biggest I could do at lunch is to eat in really small bites, if eat at all. It kinda ruins the rare hangouts we have with my close friend because I decline every offer of going to a cafe or restaurant lol. But the last time we met outside school guess what? I ate food normally. Crazy work, I know. Still I'm nowhere near his speed lol. And I don't feel weak and hungry because I really eat at lunch. Who knew that you can go about your day without constant headaches.
Maybe it sound tiny but these things are probably a win for me. Even if it's a tiny win. I don't mind waving my tiny flag. It's wild noticing how drastically things can change in, what? 3 years? And for the better too... It feels nice
