Should I stay or should I ctb?

[Polka]

I absolutely agree with what you said about fixing myself first.

That is really great to read and a credit to you that you figured that out. Lack of self awareness and media programing seems to trap a lot of men into
needing a woman in order to feel validated.

As for a career change, I've wondered if I should change into a career thatll force me to be more social and extroverted.

Excellent. Good people matter so much more than a large surplus of $. This is what I am doing for those reasons and more.
How many classic cars do you really need? No car is going to be there for you when you need help or go out with you on a fun trip.

comfort zone

The comfort zone is ok but if there is no growth then what it the point?

We have a lot in common.

 

[Moonicide]

Hey, love. I'm sorry you're suffering and hurting like this. I can relate very much to your struggles. I'm also 29 too and have lived with mental illness for 15 years, but I have also been actively been in treatment + medication. Is it possible to hold out and schedule an appointment before going inpatient? If not, then maybe consider inpatient. It seems like you still want to love, but you just don't know how to. And like many other people have said here, if you're asking us if you should ctb or not then it means you aren't ready to do so. We can't make that decision for you. It is your life and your decision in the end. You'll know when you're ready, as cliche as that is. You'll know. Until then, just know we are here to support you.

Sending all of my love.