Venting Should I become an asshole to my parents so that me passing away will be less painful?

[KillingPain267]

Since for everyone else me passing away is good riddance.

 

[ivetried089]

I think that after you died they could very possibly realize what you were doing and feel guilty for not recognizing it at the time..

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel like good parents still love their children to some extent- even when they are behaving like arseholes. So- they may well just end up hurting before and after. I think it's maybe nicer to give them some happier memories before- if possible. It may hurt more at the time I suppose but, what benefit will it be to them to look back on arguments? I think the alternative of becoming estranged from people fully takes time. Probably more time than many of us are willing to hold on for.

 

[StrugglingSienna]

I have strongly considered this option before. But like @ivetried089 said, I think my parents would be able to figure out what I was doing. I think it's far better to just try to make some good memories with them before you pass. After the fact, they will also know what you were trying to do, and while they will hurt so badly, they will eventually appreciate what you were trying to do.

And also, how much of an asshole are you willing to be, to your parents? You would have to behave pretty badly for them to be "relieved" by your passing, I bet. Like heroin benders, getting into serious trouble with the law shit like that, for months or years.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Parents, well most, anyway, have unconditional love for their children. Being an asshole isn't going to change that, nor "make it easier" on them, when you die.

 

[getoutgirl]

Friends you can alienate and piss off (I have), if they are close it may take some time. With loving parents that just doesn't work. They will see through it, that something is off, and if you die they will realise immediately. You just cannot get out of that.

In a way it's good. It's a privilege to have loving parents, not everyone here has them sadly, and they are an anchor to life and source of love and support while you struggle to recover. But they can also become an added weight to the pain. When your empathy and kindness just wishes you didn't have to pass that suffering on to them, if you could just end it.
It really means you care for and you love eachother. And that love is both a life jacket and a chokehold. I know it feels awful, lots of hugs at ya <333

 

[StrugglingSienna]

But they can also become an added weight to the pain. When your empathy and kindness just wishes you didn't have to pass that suffering on to them, if you could just end it.
It really means you care for and you love eachother. And that love is both a life jacket and a chokehold. I know it feels awful, lots of hugs at ya <333

That is a perfect way to put it. The love from your parents can definitely feel suffocating. I know it feels that way to me. It definitely makes it harder to choose what I feel is the inevitable outcome of my life.

I don't know what the best choice here is, OP. I'm not really sure there is one. Hugs.

 

[Linda]

I don't think that would achieve anything useful.

 

[Forveleth]

Then they would just be slowly losing you while you are still alive. Equally painfull to death, I think.