cylus46
Student
- Jan 28, 2025
- 115
I ask myself this question over and over again. I'm so angry, so sad, so lonely. I keep getting worse and worse and all I want is to get better but it feels so good to let go, give up, and suffer more. I'm so tired... I'm tired when I wake up, when I got to work, the gym, I sit infront of my computer. I'm growing more and more agitated by everything, even little things send me into a mental breakdown now. I hate the sun, it's so bright, so warm and it just gives me a fucking headache.
Slowly but surely my vices stop working. At first it was the gym and building muscle...that stop making me feel good. Then it was hoeing around and that too eventually stopped making me feel good, drugs? Eventually stopped making me feel good, friends? A chore now, playing video games? I feel nothing, playing guitar? Nothing, porn? Nothing. One by one i run out of things to cope with and I feel myself running out of my safety net.
I don't want to die. But i become more and more numb to the idea every single day.
Slowly but surely my vices stop working. At first it was the gym and building muscle...that stop making me feel good. Then it was hoeing around and that too eventually stopped making me feel good, drugs? Eventually stopped making me feel good, friends? A chore now, playing video games? I feel nothing, playing guitar? Nothing, porn? Nothing. One by one i run out of things to cope with and I feel myself running out of my safety net.
I don't want to die. But i become more and more numb to the idea every single day.
