[Regimen/Goodbye] ☆STRIKE ME DOWN!☆

[charlottewilts]

the hour is approaching. i had to take 4 x 10mg diazepam to calm my nerves, even if it's only a tiny bit. of course they got stuck in my throat. feeling a bit sleepy. maybe i'll take a nap since the TV is broken.

i was really looking forward to watching some shows before i go but the telly, of course, doesn't work. i got stuck with a non-smoking place, so i can't even light a few up. there're smoke detectors so vaping is out of the question, too... i get so antsy without nicotine.

gonna go write a sloppy goodbye note now while i can still be arsed.

 

[Root]

I wish you peace!!

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

I wish you peace and a smooth transition. Sending love and light your way!

 

[Skyview]

Peace and love to you with hugs

 

[jgm63]

b.t.w. that poem on your prior post was very good (way better than some of the overly abstract poems IMHO).

If you decide to proceed, then wishing you a safe crossing over to your new and beautiful life that is waiting for you.....

 

[R_N]

I am thinking about you.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I wish for you peace in whatever you decide.

 

[Inferdan]

i will be going down the SN route. not at the present moment, but i don't plan on seeing another Monday. i'll post here again when it's time.

REGIMEN:

prior to this i have increased my phytic acide intake through various seeds and nuts. i will not be taking painkillers as i don't expect much pain (but if it happens, i deserved it) nor benzodiazepines as my tolerance is too high. i will be following Stan's guide with some of my own additions.

Day 1
08:00hrs 1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs 1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs 1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
Day 2
08:00hrs 1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs 1 X 10mg Metoclopramide + cease food and drink intake (except water needed for swallowing pills)
23:15hrs 3 X 10mg Metoclopramide (30mg in total) + 2 X 40mg Propranolol
23:30hrs 2 X 150mg Raniditine
24:00hrs 1 X 25g SN in 75ml water

two more identical drinks will be at the ready should they be needed. i will be here to answer questions and receive feedback on my regimen until i drink SN. i'll stay online to report the effects until i feel myself starting to slip under. i'll log off and delete my browser history then.

i cannot begin to explain how grateful i am to have found this site and discovered SN. i've been looking for a peaceful pill or, at least, an extremely reliable method for years now. scouring old a.s.h. pages, torrenting PPeH editions, 8chan, google groups, and a ton more sites i cannot begin to recall right now. if it weren't for sodium nitrite, i would've died anyways, but via one of more painful routes such as hanging or drowning since other peaceful options are not available to me. if i am found too early, i'll most likely have to resort to these methods again.

to end this post, i'd like to extend my gratitude to the moderators of Sanctioned Suicide for keeping this site up and working, and to the members for making the site what it is: a lovely and understanding place to be. i'd like to invite you all to do something you are passionate about today or try something new you've been thinking about doing. as selfish as it may sound, i wish for all of you to be able to hang onto hope when i could not.

I may not know you, but you are still considered a friend here. It is sad to see you go, but I understand and respect your choice. I am glad you stumbled upon this place and found what you sought, and I do wish you the very best on your passage. Farewell, my friend.

 

[TheLastGoodbye]

I'm sorry life has been so rough for you. I hope you find the peace you are looking for if you do decide to go.

 

[charlottewilts]

i fucked up. i fucked up big time. i still can't believe this is happening.

i shouldn't have taken the diazepam. don't take diazepam too early if you're doing the 48 hour regime with metoclopramide. it made me so drowsy and i thought i'd take a nap; i set up an alarm on my phone to wake up to take the propranolol. well, i slept through it like a rock. that's hotel money and taxi cab money down the drain. i should've set up the wake-up service on the hotel phone, it was right next to my head. or brought a goddamn alarm clock if i was going to be a fucking idiot and take it despite knowing it'd react with the meto. or brought some nicorette gum to avoid this whole ordeal. long story short, cover all your bases if you're a moron like me. the good news is i discovered an extremely effective combination of medication for insomnia, so it's not all that bleak?!

i'm trying to laugh it off but i think i'm going to take a break from SS for a while to process it and plan my next steps. i'm so sorry to anyone i've upset with this thread.

 

[LonelyHopelessDude]

i fucked up. i fucked up big time. i still can't believe this is happening.

i shouldn't have taken the diazepam. don't take diazepam too early if you're doing the 48 hour regime with metoclopramide. it made me so drowsy and i thought i'd take a nap; i set up an alarm on my phone to wake up to take the propranolol. well, i slept through it like a rock. that's hotel money and taxi cab money down the drain. i should've set up the wake-up service on the hotel phone, it was right next to my head. or brought a goddamn alarm clock if i was going to be a fucking idiot and take it despite knowing it'd react with the meto. or brought some nicorette gum to avoid this whole ordeal. long story short, cover all your bases if you're a moron like me. the good news is i discovered an extremely effective combination of medication for insomnia, so it's not all that bleak?!

i'm trying to laugh it off but i think i'm going to take a break from SS for a while to process it and plan my next steps. i'm so sorry to anyone i've upset with this thread.

It's okay, it can happen to everybody.
Maybe use this break to rest a bit more, it seems like you really didn't have time to relax.

 

[R_N]

Don't be so hard on yourself it is good that things aren't worse. I thought SN failed and that you suffered. Don't worry too much.

I am really glad you are still here and that you are well.

 

[Quax]

For sure you haven't upset anyone here.

 

[voyager]

i'm so sorry to anyone i've upset with this thread.

You're joking, right? I'm sure all of us here are just glad you're okay and nothing went substantially wrong.

 

[BPD Barbie]

furthermore, my SN - which i received a month ago - is as hard as a rock (it's still sealed, but i've shaken it). i'm rather sure this is because it's laboratory grade & doesn't contain anti-caking agents and not because it has turned into nitrate. if i succeed, i hope it alleviates concern for those of you whose SN is in the same condition.

Mine is also solid, had to stab it with a pencil to break it apart when I was checking it. Thank you for reassuring us

 

[Nemeshisu]

i'm trying to laugh it off but i think i'm going to take a break from SS for a while to process it and plan my next steps. i'm so sorry to anyone i've upset with this thread.

I am glad to see that you are okay. I was scared that you suffered when you said that you f*cked up. Take all the time that you need to calm down and plan everything. Don't be so hard on yourself, nobody is upset on you because of this.

 

[Broken Chimera]

You messed up but you're OK. Just take the time you need for yourself.

 

[Not_Quite_Dead_Yet]

to end this post, i'd like to extend my gratitude to the moderators of Sanctioned Suicide for keeping this site up and working, and to the members for making the site what it is: a lovely and understanding place to be. i'd like to invite you all to do something you are passionate about today or try something new you've been thinking about doing. as selfish as it may sound, i wish for all of you to be able to hang onto hope when i could not.

Your kind words of gratitude and your wishes for the rest of us ring true. I hope for the best for you, whatever form that may take.

 

[Skyview]

Hey , relax ! You certainly have not upset anyone , just happy you are okay .
Take some time but come back again soon , we miss you

 

[WhiskeyLulabuy]

Hope you find the peace you are looking for x

 

[TheLastGoodbye]

It's okay. Shit happens. Sorry it didn't work out for you, but I'm glad you're still around for a bit.

 

[Ghost2211]

Oops.....

well for what it's worth I'm glad you are still with us :)

 

[jgm63]

Hope you are able to regroup and replan to achieve whatever you wish.....

 

[MsMaudlin]

I'm glad you are still with us. At least you know what not to do next time.

Take the time to think, and recharge your batteries.

Love and peace ❤

 

[Deleted member 1465]

It's okay. I'm glad you are okay. Take a break. Regroup and rethink.