I

Ineedthis

Member
Jul 28, 2023
79
1 is very low suicidality, 10 is very extreme acute suicidality. I miss the old thread (which is deleted) that is way I want to revive him.

My suicidal thoughts today are a 4. I have some distractions and responsibilities which prevent more of these thoughts.
I'm at a 4 or a 5 right now. I kinda feel like I don't deserve death and I should rather just suffer the worst pain imaginable instead
 
Borderline

Borderline

Borderline Personality Disorder
Aug 8, 2023
79
10
 
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M

mothercoin

Member
Aug 9, 2023
64
10, but I can't do anything right now. When is this going to end? I feel like garbage, I don't even have the energy to describe what I'm feeling right now, I just want to die so bad but right now it's impossible. Mentally I'm begging for someone or something to kill me right now, I genuinely can't begin to comprehend how anyone is supposed to just cope with this.
What did I do to deserve this, it feels like a neverending nightmare
I definitely feel like this too. It's a neverending nightmare. I just don't see any way out. Only thing I do is eat, sleep, and think about dying. I hope something happens so I get the courage to end myself. I rate it a 9 today because I've had worse days but just barely.
 
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N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,220
4,5. For the fact that I have holidays I am pretty sad and unhappy. It should be the best time of the year. I feel so lonely. And I feel like I embarrassed me in front of my (former hopefully) crush. I have such a strong desire for a partner. It might ruin college because it destabilizes me so much. The last semester was sort of traumatizing. It feels like the house of cards becomes more and more shaky. I had to take insanely much addictive medication during this semester. So much that my ridiculously liberal psychiatrist doubted the strategy. Maybe my life falls apart next semester. It becomes more and more risky. I analyzed some possible reasons why this semester was this horrendous. I mean I just have to hope for the best. I don't have other options. My chances to actually find a partner is so low because my psychotic brain ruins everything.

I have the feeling it is no question whether I will collapse it is rather the question of when. My psychiatrist retires soon. Last time I was a little bit too honest how horrible the semester was. This is why she doubts the addictive medication strategy which the main reason why I could cope with college so far. I think it will be insanely difficult to find a psychatrist who supports this strategy. Next time I meet her I will lie and tell I am confident to go on with this strategy. Well it is my sole chance to find a job. Some people question this statement of mine in the past. Well they don't know all the other ways I tried so far. I hope I find any psychiatrist who his dumb enough to support this. I hope she recommends the new one to go on. But the last time she seemed to be very sceptical. Though her memory is pretty bad.

Fuck my life everything is so hopeless.
 
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S

sjembek

Member
Aug 1, 2023
8
1 is very low suicidality, 10 is very extreme acute suicidality. I miss the old thread (which is deleted) that is way I want to revive him.

My suicidal thoughts today are a 4. I have some distractions and responsibilities which prevent more of these
3.6. Not great, not terrible
 
P

pinkribbonscars

She’s lost control
Oct 7, 2021
148
Considering I'm committing suicide early wed morning, they're at a ten lol
 
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JustABug

JustABug

Sinking in my skin
Aug 18, 2023
115
I would say 7 for me. I desperately don't want to exist and experience any part of life, however it is not a 10 because I'm not actively seeking out ways to end it-apart from my research online.
 
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Ferret77

Ferret77

Member
Jun 2, 2023
71
About 7/10 at this moment, but it changes frequently. Some people think I'm happy, but I'm not...
 
purple_keeper

purple_keeper

Member
Jul 6, 2023
18
5 right now bc my anxiety about college is taking over my sucidial ideation. trading one pain for another pain lol
 
T

TheMetalhead

Experienced
Aug 18, 2023
206
A solid 7, I feel like I might CTB any time soon.
 
Huggs

Huggs

Wish for peace
Jul 6, 2023
209
9, because I'm actively planning. Only reason I'm not saying 10 is because I wouldn't consider violent painful methods.
 
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StolenLife

StolenLife

Warlock
Sep 19, 2022
740
8. I made a horrible mistake which will haunt me forever.
 
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Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

Malpractice: NeuroDystrophy-Paralysis-Meds-Injured
Sep 27, 2022
3,640
S

somenone

He is not even capable of committing suicide
Aug 19, 2023
47
7, sometimes 10.
 
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L

LostFuture.

Member
Aug 20, 2023
16
6. Just exhausted with this world and the needless suffering it brings. But not yet desperate enough to act, but think its just one more bad event away.
 
Callie

Callie

Walking Despair
Aug 21, 2023
28
I would say 8-10.

8 because the fear is still there. But a perfect 10 for obsessing about myself dying. And I know there's no doubt in me that I want to go now if there isn't anything that hinders it.
 
RealitySurf

RealitySurf

Member
Aug 21, 2023
33
I still don't have all the things i need to but i feel like its a 7, because im still afraid of failing
 
angeldust

angeldust

Yearning
Aug 16, 2023
11
1 is very low suicidality, 10 is very extreme acute suicidality. I miss the old thread (which is deleted) that is way I want to revive him.

My suicidal thoughts today are a 4. I have some distractions and responsibilities which prevent more of these thoughts.
9.5
 
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