Random thoughts

[Donewith_]

What's wrong?
Nothing is right

 

[Minudah]

They took an elevator to get to the kitchen on the top floor where they argued about their evenings. Internet cables are hard to come by, so they all agreed to order a brand new TV. The TV came with a washing machine, which they put their cell phones in as they made a wish. This awakened the aliens, so they had a big pizza party.

 

[Manaaja]

I want to date and marry, but no-one has even been interested in me. What's worse, I develop crushes very easily. There are so many people (online and offline) who I've been interested in, but they are always either taken or reject me.

 

[Memento Mori]

There's one thing that makes me happy: I've known and experienced love from someone who shared her dreams with me. In that, I was very lucky. So don't be sorry for me.

quote by some user here i forgot the name of. this makes me happy and i hope the same for myself. it will always be hard to believe that someone like me experienced such sweet love from such a kind human being

worst circumstances create the greatest humans

 

[15dec]

My ex was really nice and chatty with me on Thursday, but when I saw him again on Monday he seemed like he wanted to avoid me and that's how it's been all week, as if I'm not here. I swear I see him glancing at me (or at least in my direction) but he hasn't outright talked to me or tried to include me in conversations like he had done on Thursday.

On Thursday some girls asked us a lot of questions about our relationship, saying that we should get back together and that it was really obvious that we 'loved each other'. They asked if we would get together and I quickly shook my head no, but my ex didn't say anything and I didn't see if he did the same as me. He stopped talking to us but if he heard something one of us said he'd occasionally interject and reply, which made the girls think he was eavesdropping (they were still asking me about him) although he could have just overheard.

It was after this that he seemed to put distance between us. Maybe he feels awkward that people were thinking that way about us and asking us about it and wants to stop it. Maybe he has a girlfriend and doesn't want her to get the wrong idea. Maybe he was offended by how quickly I said we wouldn't get back together. Maybe he wanted to get back together and still has feelings for me, but because I told the girls we wouldn't, he's putting distance between us.

Or maybe I'm just overthinking this whole thing and it's something else entirely. Either way, I miss him... I want to be friends, at least.

 

[Donewith_]

Shattered lives

 

[Donewith_]

Empty roads.. I am afraid of them. They ask me innumerable number of questions and I don't have answers to any of them... I get lost on some of them.

Why has everything around me be insanely silent? Why should I get crushed? Why should I get stuck in my head?

 

[Minudah]

Sometimes I get annoyed trying to figure out how something is pronounced in Hebrew because of the lack of vowels, then in English there's this weird dumb shit with vowels like using four letters to portray one vowel sound (like in "bought", or that V-guy who was banned). Remembering how to spell unfamiliar words with that four-letter vowel thing going on is hard.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Sometimes I get annoyed trying to figure out how something is pronounced in Hebrew because of the lack of vowels, then in English there's this weird dumb shit with vowels like using four letters to portray one vowel sound (like in "bought", or that V-guy who was banned). Remembering how to spell unfamiliar words with that four-letter vowel thing going on is hard.

Yes, this is annoying. Why do you read in Hebrew?

 

[Minudah]

Yes, this is annoying. Why do you read in Hebrew?

Same reason I read in English. Other than that I live in a country where English is the most common language

 

[Johnnythefox]

Same reason I read in English. Other than that I live in a country where English is the most common language

Do you speak any other languages?

 

[Minudah]

Do you speak any other languages?

אני מדברת שתיים, אנגלית ועברית. אבל אני מעריך שאתה חושב שאני גאון רב לשוני חחח.

Wtf, ever since the forum update I get glitches if I type LtR English, but not RtL Hebrew. I've never seen things be less buggy with RtL than LtR text before. Except it still puts the punctuation of the last sentence at the front of the sentence, but I've never seen anything not do that to RtL text.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

I wish i could give her to you. I don't hurt Her. But i lash out verbally. She only wants to be acknowledged. Stroked. Loved. But Her voice, sometimes,most times it makes it so hard to disassociate. She needs me to be stronger, more engaged than i am.

I've been calling her. She's under the bed. She won't come to me. At this exact moment. It hurts me more to know she'll forget I'm a miserable asshole and come back for a cuddle. I don't deserve her.

You know i love her. As much as I'm capable.

 

[Donewith_]

its paused

 

[Going Home]

No one is entitled to my thoughts or feelings because they belong to me. Only I know how I feel and what I am thinking.

 

[Johnnythefox]

There appears to be over three times as many guests as there are members online.

 

[jkhomie777]

Death scares me.

 

[Johnnythefox]

I don't know who I am anymore, I've probably never known and never will. I'm alive but I'm not living, I used to go out and enjoy myself, now I never leave the house unless I have to go and buy food or vape juice. I feel like a ghost, and maybe I am, who's to say I'm not?
I only found this place while looking for information on the helium method, there's no doubt in my mind that if the Internet was about in the early 80's then I wouldn't be here today. It wasn't as if you could go to the library and ask if they had any books on how to CTB.
xxx

 

[Memento Mori]

it's hard to stay away from here. what to do with my time until ctb? am used to 20 opened ss tabs in my browser...
don't need no hope, i love the pain, but if something works out in future i will try not to kill myself, but maybe i'll still do it. damn that theme gets boring i just want to relax, meds don't do shit, only one person can make me have a good time.

i'm not a big fan of this new forum layout, the old one was more....compact? idk
also ppl here changing/leaving/dying...welp, that's the ghost of time

 

[throwaway123]

Life can be so cruel

 

[Life sucks]

Life is cruel.

It's pointless stupid and random and yet all of us refuse to accept that. We keep deluding ourselves because none of us can handle the painful truth.

Life sucks and humans refuse to accept that. They prefer to the countless and endless pain and suffering in this life than knowing the painful truth. The problem they try to enforce others to believe in this fucking prolify shit
And yea fucking random life with countless variables that you can't do anything about and it completely control you. Free will my ass

 

[NumbItAll]

tired of being in constant pain, like what the heck did i do to deserve this. life sucks.

 

[NumbItAll]

why do i have the misfortune of existing :(

why haven't i ended it yet >:(

so sad and lonely

[r budd dwyer gif]

 

[jkhomie777]

Hell

 

[CFLoser]

I wanna improve and get smarter and quicker reaction time.

I like to grind flash cards because it's only way I can learn a large amount of info.

I want to learn more stuff but THINGS ARE CRAZY rn.

 

[littlelady774]

I miss JustAboutDone :( Things on here just don't feel the same without her

 

[Minudah]

Are all of the experimenters going to know this was my account when I'm gone? Or do they already know? I wish I could've destroyed the simulation. Torture exoeriments are fucked up. Today I'm really dizzy and have a headache. I won't even know the difference when SN kicks in. I hope 12g with 60ml water is a good dose

Is it true that cities don't do obituaries? Idk if I'll get one then

 

[jkhomie777]

Empty

 

[Roberto]

I was always been addicted to melancholy. A kind of sweet harm in the heart. A kind of drug that makes you drunk. A kind of wings to make you fly (with imagination).

 

[15dec]

I asked a friend for advice and seriously regret it. They have a habit of lying to me because they think if they tell me the truth I'll be upset. I can't tell if this specific friend is lying to me and now my problem is more complicated than before