Random thoughts

[Redt2go]

It's 4AM and I can't fall sleep again..

It's always 4am

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

It's always 4am

Yeah, I don't get it. It's like clockwork

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I wish I would just pass in my sleep tonight...

 

[Going Home]

Yesterday afternoon a man drove next to me yelling something that ended with, "retard, fucking nigger!" If I see him again I'll ask him to help me ctb. I'm sure he would get me some stuff.

 

[Redt2go]

Yesterday afternoon a man drove next to me yelling something that ended with, "retard, fucking nigger!" If I see him again I'll ask him to help me ctb. I'm sure he would get me some stuff.

He'd likely want to torture you. I'm sorry people are still ignorant in 2019

 

[JustAboutDone]

Yesterday afternoon a man drove next to me yelling something that ended with, "retard, fucking nigger!" If I see him again I'll ask him to help me ctb. I'm sure he would get me some stuff.

That man clearly needs to go back to charm school and get a refund.

 

[brighter]

Mom's happy for the for the first time in such a long time

I dunno if you believe in God but I sincerely hope God keeps her happy. For you x

 

[Psilo]

I'm lost.

 

[Buddyluv19]

I've lost my sense of humor.

 

[CJM]

It's been such a long summer. Cold months hurry up please.

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

They took out the entire flooring in our flat because water seeped into it, so now it's just concrete floors in every room here and there are these fairly loud dehumidifiers everywhere that run from morning until evening and everything is all messy and shitty. It almost looks like we're living in a construction site and I think it's weirdly comfy for some reason...

 

[Redt2go]

completely disillusioned with life

 

[Minudah]

I'm the worst lab rat and I hate myself. I don't think there would be any experimenters on this forum. I want to hug my dogs but I feel as sick as usual and can't get out of bed. My dogs like to cuddle, and my xolo loves to hug, be hugged, and be held

 

[Memento Mori]

drunk as fuck...am spammin my shit on SS lol. I love you all

 

[Redt2go]

Caught up in wishing things were different

 

[Hopeless_soul]

Today I'll drink on the moon...

"And I've hawked all my yesterdays
Don't try and change my tune
'Cause I thought I heard a saxophone
I'm drunk on the moon" Tom Waits.

 

[Redt2go]

I want to move to Florida but Im afraid of crocodiles

 

[Redt2go]

I keep on running, keep on running
And nothing works
I can't get away from you, no
I keep on ducking, keep on ducking
And nothing helps
I can't stop missing you, yeah

 

[Chlo]

Today I'll drink on the moon...

"And I've hawked all my yesterdays
Don't try and change my tune
'Cause I thought I heard a saxophone
I'm drunk on the moon" Tom Waits.

Ahh, I love Tom Waits.

-

Currently watching that BBC documentary about that young guy who'd been abused by his off/on girlfriend of 5 years..seriously disturbing how casually she tells the police how she'd stab him, pour boiling water over him, etc. ):

 

[Hopeless_soul]

Ahh, I love Tom Waits.

I'll be playing his records tonight while drinking a glass of wine, or two :)

 

[waived]

I want to move to Florida but Im afraid of crocodiles

Why Florida?

 

[Redt2go]

Why Florida?

It's easier to cope with my depression in warm weather plus I love the beach

 

[thatguyakira123]

I really am shit. Literally I can call a grocery and get a job but of course I talk myself out of it. One of my 2nd cousin is staying with us for a while. He's a Nurse. I so wanted to tell him about my mental illness and addiction, but luckily I overheard him talking to my asshat of a brother and telling him everyone has some form of bi polar disorder. And I'm like (in my mind), how could you say that about a serious mental illness, you're a Nurse, you should know better. I know it's good I didn't tell him. He'd try to put me on the drugs that destroy my father.


I am so sick of my lonelyness, so sick of having to deal with my brain and my asshole brother alone. I just, I wish I could just go already instead of wasting time. The whole being a bitch about getting a job and not being brave enough to kill myself is getting to be a strain on me and my mom. Luckly I cut myself when it gets intense so I don't go overboard infront of everyone. I'm just tired all the time, I barely sleep. It's more like I pretend now. I pretend to be ok. I feel more alone now that my 2nd cousin is living with us, but I pretend to be ok with it, I have too cuz I can't tell him to fuck off. He makes me feel more alone cuz my asshat of a brother and my mom and him get alone so normally.

I have to listen to my asshat of a brother lie to him and tell him shit like he cares about our family when all my brother does is abuse us. And yet still I'm the one that has to die. I'm at a point were I just literally want to do him real harm but I'm not going too, cuz that's gonna fuck up my plans. Though I can get killed in jail. I just need to get brave enough, I just need to turn off my humanity, just one more time and then, my mom would be free of me, free to move out and I would be happy.

 

[Chlo]

I really am shit. Literally I can call a grocery and get a job but of course I talk myself out of it. One of my 2nd cousin is staying with us for a while. He's a Nurse. I so wanted to tell him about my mental illness and addiction, but luckily I overheard him talking to my asshat of a brother and telling him everyone has some form of bi polar disorder. And I'm like (in my mind), how could you say that about a serious mental illness, you're a Nurse, you should know better. I know it's good I didn't tell him. He'd try to put me on the drugs that destroy my father.

Sorry you're hurting. I understand how you feel with the job thing, I am the same way..I go back and forth with myself wondering whether I'm lazy, or scared, or just not strong enough, etc. Safe to say not very well adjusted, in any case.

I will say that if your cousin was implying mental disorders (like bipolar) are overdiagnosed, I don't think he's wrong.

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

What if i died in my sleep tonight? Would i be missed or would i be forgotten in a week?

 

[brighter]

What if i died in my sleep tonight? Would i be missed or would i be forgotten in a week?

You wouldn't be forgotten, SS would remember you :)

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I just watched a YouTube documentary about "lost" guys (mainly) in the UK after watching a documentary about how fentanyl is killing swathes of "Americans" I wondered how many of these people were/are depressed so sought drugs out as a way to try escaping the pain... And then I wondered how many of them felt resentment towards their parents for having them in the first place.

 

[thatguyakira123]

What if i died in my sleep tonight? Would i be missed or would i be forgotten in a week?

Remembrance is Overrated.

 

[Minudah]

I wanted to destroy the simulation, but I'm too stupid

 

[Redt2go]

fed up, pissed, exhausted, overwhelmed... all I did today was order take out and sit in the rain... imagine if I actually took up my coursework