GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
I'm a shit person and I'm kind of okay with this fact at this point. But there are some people I really don't want to hurt in any way, don't want to rub off my toxicity on them, because they are so precious. And yet I want to be around exactly this kind of people. And I don't think I can become a better person in a way that would be meaningful enough for me to be a good influence on someone's life.
I don't want to push you to do bad things and screw up your nice sweet white picket fence life. But I also really want to do exactly that. And I absolutely hate myself and I'm not sure which side will win in the end.
 
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UninformedLover

UninformedLover

If you see me active on here...its gotten worse...
Nov 12, 2019
265
The fact that my cat hates me is about to send me over the edge. I love him so much and he just doesn't like me. Every time I think about it I start to cry. Like right now. My sister's cat Leslie loves me a lot which is amazing, but it's not the same. My cat really likes my mom and its not fair because she doesn't even like him. I'm so jealous. I just want him to like me. I respect his decision though because I don't even like me. So he has good judgement at least.
 
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Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,593
"A chocolate muffin would be awesome right about now."
 
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signifying nothing

signifying nothing

-
Sep 13, 2020
2,553
I'm a bag of f'ing grit aren't I?
 
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KleinerWolf

KleinerWolf

Account Wipe.
Apr 30, 2020
2,700
"444"
protect me more pls universe,
I'm crumbling and barely holding it together,
show me a glimpse of hope,
it's all I need.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
I have an ex stalking me. It adds to my stress.

I haven't eaten any bread type things in a long time but right now I would love a croissant.
 
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KleinerWolf

KleinerWolf

Account Wipe.
Apr 30, 2020
2,700
What does a crab think to himself, before he jumps himself into a hot boiling pot of soup?
&
Does a sparrow mom say to the little sparrow "look kiddo, those are human houses, some people are nice they give us food, others are evil, either poison us or try to catch us, be careful."?
 
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http-410

http-410

nowhere
Sep 12, 2020
1,043
Got rid of a box of personal stuff. It feels liberating, like getting rid of a piece of myself.

Apparently, I've always been weird. Always looked away, turned around, or not been there at all.

I wonder what happened.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,733
Why do people bother to string me along just to leave me hanging? Out of politeness? Honestly, I would prefer outright hostility. No need to waste each other's time.
 
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signifying nothing

signifying nothing

-
Sep 13, 2020
2,553
bigger mug, more coffee
 
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Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,382
Rose wanting to ctb by having a baby was stupid (the author said that it was possible for her to have a child without dying, but she wanted to become part of a (half-gem) human boy and without dying, Steven would have been just full-human). The only thing stupider was forcing her friends to take care of the baby. It's not Pearl's, Garnet's and Amethyst's job to take care of Steven. Sure it's very nice of them, but did that bitch Rose ever think "What if Pearl heals from the brainwashing I gave her and wants to move to France to live with her new girlfriend? What if Amethyst is too childish and immature herself to take care of a child? What if Garnet doesn't want to take care of the baby?" No. She wants to die. She dies. Fuck Greg and the Crystal Gems. She doesn't care if they end up getting too sad and committing suicide now that their beloved cult master is gone. She doesn't care that Greg will became a widow and single father. Oh Greg? You'd rather have a living wife without a son than a dead wife and a baby? Fuck you. Oh, what now? You met a new woman and want to start a family with her and the women is weirded out by alien babies? Fuck you.

Rose "I want to start a rebellion and a civil war which will end up killing lots of gems (and humans too)."
Everyone: "Theehee, we were literally created to serve thee and always agree with thee."
Rose: "Pearl, you better be a brainwashed slave to me who worships me and loves me so much you're constantly risking your life for mine - and you better do it while I bang human men (bestiality, what's that? No, I'm not like an evil demon succubus).
Pearl: "Yes, my lady!"
Rose: "Greg, we will now have a baby."
Greg: "Do I get to have a say in th-."
Rose: "NO!"
Greg: "Okay, whatever you say honey."
Rose: "I want to commit a suicide by giving birth to a human-gem resident evil tyrant hybrid because otherwise he would be full-human. Also, I want to be a human boy's gem navel."
Greg: "I don't want you to die!"
Rose: "Who's the Rose Quartz here?"
Greg: "You are."
Rose: "Exactly."
Pearl: "Nooo! If you die I'll commit seppuku! I have been brainwashed to not be able to live without you!"
Rose: "Those thousands of years together? They meant nothing to me. But I'll still not erase the brainwashing from you even when I die."
Pearl: "Rose, what are-"
Rose: "I love you Pearl!"
Pearl: "Teehee, leave Greg and bang me!"
Rose: "You're a woman. Two women can't have kids."
Pearl: "I'm not a woman, you're not a woman. We are sexless gems who can shapeshift. And if you can shapeshift into a woman and become pregnant, I can shapeshift into a man and make you pregnant."
Rose: "Pearl, I love you!"
Pearl: "I love you too! I'm sorry for what I said! Please forgive my insolence!"
Garnet: "You're our leader! And the strongest! What will we do about the war you started if you die?"
Rose: "I got bored of the war."
Garnet: "The war won't go away just because you got bored of it. Some day the diamonds will return and.."
Rose: "*yawn* Who cares? My baby can take care of it."
Garnet: "You expect a baby to end up winning an intergalactic war against thousands of years old giant immortal godlike tyrannical dictators with superior techonology and a giant army?"
Rose: "Who was okay with you being a fusion?"
Garnet: "You were. I'm sorry I doubted you."
Rose: "There. That's a good stupid fusion." (fuck, I should write a fan fic and publish it.)
Amethyst: "Yo, yu gonna die and leave us? I ain't gonna be a mom!"
Rose: "It's okay, my child. Being a mom is so much fun. Imagine all the dangerous and cool adventures you can go to with my baby when you're mom!"
Amethyst: "Woohoo! Momhood here I come!"
Bismuth: "Does anyone remember me?"
Rose: "No. I used my brainwashing powers to stop them from remembering you."
Rose: "Okay, is everyone ready? If so, I'll now ctb by becoming part of a tyrant hybrid! See ya never suckers lol! Oh, and remember to worship me even after my death!"
Everyone ten years later: "Rose was the biggest hero ever! She was okay with fusions! She didn't want Pearl to be a mindless slave! She loved humans (frequently)! She was okay with Amethyst being small and childish! And best of all, she opposed diamonds's tyrannical rule! (but not Rose Quartz's brainwashing)!"

Fuck. If only I wasn't doing so badly, I'd seriously start writing fanfics and stories.
 
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lanax09

lanax09

Experienced
Apr 17, 2021
231
i want garlic bread even though ive already had a shit ton of it today
 
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Lucien

Lucien

A Nameless Monster
Mar 7, 2021
130
I have a massive headache. My brain is boiling inside my skull.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
I thought it was impossible that things would get better, yet they did. Sometimes it's worth waiting, no matter how bad the odds are.
 
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GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
I've been active on Facebook for about two days and some random guy approached me about no strings attached relationship and is now asking me if I am giving blowjobs and I'm not sure whether "yeah but not to complete strangers" is an appropriate answer. Is it just how social media works or do I somehow send out a wrong message to the world? I wish someone could tell me...
 
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Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,382
I know God wants me to ctb asap, but let me sleep in my own bed in the safety of my own home first please. I want to have fun with my friends first and be mentally prepared. I want to be happy. Happiness, freedom, peace, justice, love are the most important things in the world. I am not submissive. I am not a victim. I am not a loser. I'm the one who has total control over my life. The one who has total happiness, freedom, peace, justice, love. Now and forever. Amen.
 
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Lucien

Lucien

A Nameless Monster
Mar 7, 2021
130
Noises are the worst, especially when they're generated by people.
 
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Seaghost

Seaghost

Specialist
Apr 14, 2019
301
I am so fucking uuhhhhhggg hungry for fuckin love.
It's eating me up.

To touch someone, feeling heartbeats, smell someone and to feel there is a soul beside you...near you.

%€#%&%€€
 
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Rue89

Rue89

Visionary
Feb 10, 2020
2,726
Why does dying have to be so fucking hard?
 
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avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,247
Why can't anything in my life NOT be complicated? Even my death seems to be...
 
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GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
...why would you do this to me?
 
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http-410

http-410

nowhere
Sep 12, 2020
1,043
Am I a liar or am I protecting myself? What am I doing?
 
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Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,382
I just realized I'm one of the older members on this site. A lot of people have joined in either 2021 or 2020. I can't believe it's been that long since I joined. Kinda embarassing that I still haven't succeeded in 2 and half a year. I don't wanna be one of the oldest, it makes me feel like a father. ^^'

...I don't really get the daddy kink, and even less why is it so popular. It seems very incestious. "That man is hot! I want him to be my daddy and choke me".

...Well, actually... I think I understand it psychologically. I guess a lot of people lack a good, strong yet kind and defending and loving father figure. (I'd love one too!) So when they see a person they like they subconsciously (can't they make a less complicated word? I use a that word every week and still can never write it correctly) think "Finally I can have my father! I have always wanted a good, loving father!". So their need for a loving father and their lust for a hot man get mixed and you get a fusion of those desires. "I lack a father and I lack a boyfriend. You better be both!".

... I wonder if women would grew up happier if they were adopted by a gay couple? Since women long for loving fathers so much, it might be very good for them to have two fathers. (If anyone says they need a mom too, you can have a poly couple of two bi men and two bi women.).

I think it would be safer for children to have four parents. That way if one or two of them are abusive and bad, at least there'd still be two good parents who'd protect the children. And if one of the parents died, instead of being left with only one parent (who'll likely become a drunkard and ctb), there'd still be three parents who could each help each other. There'd be no "My wife died and now I have to take care of five children and a farm and 100 animals all on my own.".
 
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signifying nothing

signifying nothing

-
Sep 13, 2020
2,553
Just sit with me. Be here with me, see me, without distraction, without disappearing into your thoughts, without judging me, without trying to figure me out or solve me. Acknowledge my presence, somehow assure me that I exist.
 
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avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,247
Why am I still here? Why am I trying to fight to get something back that I know I cannot get back? Why hasn't my pathetic cowardly ass just shut the hell up and remove my poisonous existence from this planet yet?!?!? I KNOW the world would be less dark and horrible if I was gone, so, HURRY UP AND RID THE WORLD OF YOUR PRESENCE!

Just some kind words to myself.
 
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W’ren

W’ren

Worthless
Oct 28, 2020
559
The mind of me is misfiring-
Ive had 4 hours sleep in 3 days and right now i don't care.
I'm hugging my grandma's Eeyore - grandma died 4 years ago as i stood at her bedside. "Go with love" Two generations of us were saying it. "Go with love" and she smiled and died, cat on lap- why can't anyone do that for me?

It's 2:49am and who was the first person to cover a grasshopper in chocolate and eat it? Wouldn't you just simply eat the chocolate? Are you that hungry and thar inept a hunter that all you can catch is a grasshopper for nutrients?
They call it a delicacy somewhere on this planet and they say I'M f*cked up?
My niece ate one.
Respect, kiddo.

2:52 and i bought stuff online an hour ago that i need for my Magik… i also paid my bills… and rent… and now i have 100$ left for the month.
So, Cerb is x amount but ODSP (government disability) is x-$900. How is that fair?? I can't even… below the poverty line sucks.

Does walking barefoot along forest paths help with that languishing feeling of hopelessness? Tune in in the next few days to find out.

Can i scream? I just want to scream now.
 
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avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,247
I can't believe its over. Do I fight? Do I give up? Do I just say fuck it and hurt everyone and destroy a few lives to alleviate my pain? Do I go on living a horrible soulless existence wanting desperately to die every single day just so I DON'T hurt and destroy lives? What the hell do I do....?
 
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GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
I don't see how therapy is can be helpful for me, at all. My diagnosis is "I can't afford to stay alive without constant physical pain". How are you going to treat that?
 
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nightnightnitrite

nightnightnitrite

baby blues
Apr 17, 2021
483
I miss my ex and would love to see him but I can never have him back in my life. I feel so stupid for feeling sadness over this loss but even if he asked to come back I'd have to say no. I'm one of the most contradicting people I know):
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
I want to lighten up and think about my hair, my nails, my exercise routines, and anything fun or that makes me smile or laugh. And I reject anyone in my life who makes me feel less than good.
 
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