Random thoughts

[in hell out soon]

Your fire elmo avatar says different. You're cool in my books!

thanks, but doesn't change the dynamic in all of the friend groups I've been in over the years or even the ones I'm in now, sadly! :(

no matter what I try or what I do it always ends up that case. I'm pretty sick of trying at this point.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

thanks, but doesn't change the dynamic in all of the friend groups I've been in over the years or even the ones I'm in now, sadly! :(

no matter what I try or what I do it always ends up that case. I'm pretty sick of trying at this point.

Maybe you're just in the wrong groups. Find people who are more like you. "Friends" are fickle as fuck anyways.

 

[Bct]

i will always be the annoying friend.

Same here. Feels like I'm the annoying one, the odd one, or even both.

 

[SipSop]

A thought experiment for self-haters

Have you ever looked at an animal and thought that it was incomplete? or insufficient or out of place? like it didn't belong? Have you ever called a sick cat ungrateful, because it didn't eat the food you fed it? or a tree lazy, because it didn't grow as fast as the others around it? – – then why do you call yourself 'incomplete', 'insufficient', 'ungrategul' and 'lazy'? Why do you think that you are out of place or that you don't belong?

Your philosophycal answers remind me of the way I process information.
You're MVP mate.
Random thought.
I feel quite hopeful today.
I realised that I desired to be like other males, cut-throat and dominant. But is not my style, is not my character.
I want to build stuff, to achieve goals, to be part of something that is active. It might be a mood but I enjoy it, and it empowers me. You guys are a great help too. I wish being myself was enough. Perhaps I have to do what I can from the position I am in.

 

[TheSoulless]

It's already May. Spring is always when I'm the happiest. There's so much light now where I live. I dread the coming winter, but will try my best to get at least one little bit of true, genuine joy out of this time of the year.

 

[Arrow]

i wish it were more cloudy where i lived :/

 

[nerve]

I'm just so sick of all this

 

[BabyYoda]

A thought experiment for self-haters

Have you ever looked at an animal and thought that it was incomplete? or insufficient or out of place? like it didn't belong? Have you ever called a sick cat ungrateful, because it didn't eat the food you fed it? or a tree lazy, because it didn't grow as fast as the others around it? – – then why do you call yourself 'incomplete', 'insufficient', 'ungrategul' and 'lazy'? Why do you think that you are out of place or that you don't belong?

Because I am not a cat, a tree, or any other animal. I am a human being who has expectations to fulfill. The society I'm in requires me to act and think in a certain way in order to be accepted.

 

[Life sucks]

I'm tired of life and humans

 

[BabyYoda]

I'm serious about not wanting to live anymore.

 

[nerve]

Sleeves are wet & cold from crying and wiping my face so much

 

[Life sucks]

Life sucks and prolifing is a big fragile life. If it was strong and based on truth, nobody would come here or think about ctb because of the world situation. But now everyone see how prolifing is shit and try to escape

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Clearly, a customer who ordered 100 individual items that would take an entire fucking day to process is important enough to drop another client of 41 items, 40 of which are the same, already assembled and only needs ten minutes of processing.
Surely.

"Give me ten minutes. The client gets this tomorrow anyways."
"drop what you are doing and do this thing."
"are you fucking stupid?"
"I know this is frustrating, but this is what <name> wants."

Frustrating? FRUSTRATING?!
I want to punch this moron in the kidneys.

 

[RileyTanaka]

I wish someone would just end me now. I can't live like this.

 

[woxihuanni]

It's so quiet and dark and lonely. Where have they gone? They didn't have a bite all day, either.

 

[Woodnote]

I just want it to be over..

 

[TheSoulless]

Been sitting the whole day so my lower back feels fucked up

 

[your pathologist]

I'm so sorry I keep doing this to you.
You deserve so much better.
Someone who can hold a conversation with you. Someone to help make u more comfortable
An adult, not this barely functioning med induced permanent fog caused by lack of sleep...
I can't even function in my fucking head long enough to fix this
I'm so exhausted... There is no relief
This is driving me crazy

 

[TheSoulless]

To my disappointment I'm awkward still

 

[your pathologist]

Been honestly dreading the color change this time.
I hate yellow :(
I know it's stupid
But because of my own lack of sleep, I get jealous of hearing my bf snore...
It sounds so peaceful
Yet so hard to reach....

 

[Lorntroubles]

They say to respect your elders but this time enough is enough. I'm putting my foot down with my spiked boots and putting it up their ass!!!! Jk but in seriousness, I won't take this treatment any longer. I have to open my mouth and say something.

 

[Woodnote]

I should've ended my life a long time ago..

 

[Life sucks]

Bumping old threads isn't a good thing specially if you see the older members who ctbed or left. I see much of old threads for no reason. You can write your own thread instead of replying to an old thread that has no active members!

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

I might legitimately die tomorrow.
Super heatwave week - peaks at 39c degrees.

 

[SipSop]

I feel like I want some donuts.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Bumping old threads isn't a good thing specially if you see the older members who ctbed or left. I see much of old threads for no reason. You can write your own thread instead of replying to an old thread that has no active members!

I see dead friends all over. I'm sorry that you do too.

Back on topic. I'm finally writing up my long awaited notes. I want to keep them brief and simple so as to avoid further pain. But at the same time I want to write a fucking novel. That is truly a difficult balance.

 

[Living sucks]

I feel like I don't even belong here bcuz I'm not suicidal, I want to live, but I'm dying a slow death that truly hurts unable to live as a normal human being as I die making matters worse. How I wake up each day is unbelievable. The torture I endure everyday bedridden is hell. But the thought of suicide scares the hell out me, I have to, but I can't.
I can't relate to people who don't want to live life, I want to live so badly but my physical ailments are destroying me slowly.

 

[GoBack]

I don't want to sleep anymore , I can't face waking up again. The little bit of sleep I get is not my friend anymore, it's just fooling me

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

I feel like I don't even belong here bcuz I'm not suicidal, I want to live, but I'm dying a slow death that truly hurts unable to live as a normal human being as I die making matters worse. How I wake up each day is unbelievable. The torture I endure everyday bedridden is hell. But the thought of suicide scares the hell out me, I have to, but I can't.
I can't relate to people who don't want to live life, I want to live so badly but my physical ailments are destroying me slowly.

I feel you there, if very vaguely.
I'm epileptic. Neuros keep feeding disgusting hope with a side dish of "don't worry, you either fit for the surgery or you don't. You can't influence that, so just don't worry!"
That's my reason.
I can't imagine a fraction of your pain. I've been "bed ridden" only once so far, and even that was controlled by the fact they have stupidly short eeg cables. I was basically chained to a wall, except with shitty cable and not an actual chain. I feel your last line too on myself. If it wasn't for this stupid condition, I'd be a super happy man.

I don't want to sleep anymore , I can't face waking up again. The little bit of sleep I get is not my friend anymore, it's just fooling me

I feel you on that. Something fucked up my sleep lately and instead of a normal night, I sleep in naps. At night, I mean.
Sleep for hour, wake up, go for half hour walk, try to sleep again. Another hour or 90 minutes, another walk.

 

[Morphinekiss]

I don't know if I can pick myself up this time.