Postpone the Inevitable

[OperaHøuse]

Sitting in front of my therapist and discussing suicide was a moment that changed my brainchemistry.

I can't really get rid of the feeling that developed itself as she explained how to attempt the right way.

"You stop eating. That's it" she said to me with a smile on her lips.

A deep sadness occurred that formed itself in the pits of my stomach. Not eating means a slow process and a slow process means I will eventually step into old roots and live my daily life again.

I know because starving myself was a way of self-harming I used to practice a hand full of times. My will to live embraces itself again but I always wonder for how long.

It's a never ending circle and I am tired of my suffering.

So is starving myself the right way of attempting or rather a way to save myself from my own head?

My body is tired for years now. I don't know if I can keep this up for any longer.
If I actually need the quick way out and not the "right way".

 

[nonn_ee]

I don't understand why she said that - it's in the list of non-methods for a reason, the exact one you gave. It's very odd, none of my therapists have said anything like that.

 

[Sutter]

There is no right or wrong way, there is only your choice. Spoon, deranged chicken, fluffy bunny slippers, all of these are valid if its your choice.

If the world were my oyster I would choose death by bubbles, really big bubbles. Alas, life has other plans and currently my dreams are too lofty.

Hoping find your rights to your right.