I was going to say they bear partial blame and attribute some of it to genetic predisposition, but no one told my mother to get pregnant and pass on her insanity. So I guess the parents 100 percent to blame.
Parents are literally responsible for every problem in the entire world. Without their reproduction there would exist nobody to suffer.
No mine were (& still are) great. Gave me a good solid loving upbringing. Couldn't have done better by me.
It's a sick joke that I am the way I am. Cause them so much grief and worry. Feel incredibly guilty about that and much else.
It's a sick joke that I am the way I am. Cause them so much grief and worry. Feel incredibly guilty about that and much else.
So sorry to read that.
Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
Yes. They weren't physically or verbally abusive but they were weak parents and had let me down in a lot of ways. I don't know if I can forgive my father for leaving me with my poor and mentally ill mother as a young child. I know the courts are heavily slanted but even a gesture would've been nice. It would have disastrous consequences for the rest of my life. I remember just wanting to spend all of my time with him and when I came back home I was always sad to return to her. He ended up dying when I was 19.
He was a baby boomer so of course his parents stayed together but neither of mine could stick it out for my sibling and I. It upsets me to think about how decadent people are these days...
He was a baby boomer so of course his parents stayed together but neither of mine could stick it out for my sibling and I. It upsets me to think about how decadent people are these days...
LastFlowers
the haru that can read
- Apr 27, 2019
- 2,170
Well they forced me to pull the genetic short stick between the two of them. I got all their bad traits and none of their good ones. They were also fundamental in another decision that caused me even more problems, when they knew better. There was yet another point in time even earlier on when I was a child that they could have changed my fate but instead, they did no research and did not get second opinions, so allowed the wrong things to be done that left me even worse off.
They are god awful in being sympathetic to my struggles even though they technically created them. My mother has gotten a bit better about things but her attitude changes on a dime. It depends on her own mood, how sparing she will be with me.
I don't think they anticipated having a child with my type of stuggle. My dad has issues regardless but my mom would seem a lot better to me if I wasn't born the way I was and if I perhaps, had a completely different and easier to tackle problem. She did try and she has qualities of a good mother as long as her children are "easy children." She can't handle difficulties (and my father complains about his own difficulties trumping everyone else's.)
But I can't help it. I didn't ask to be born. Or to have this face and body. I tried to change part of it once and ended up screwed over.
My siblings and even my cousins were not cursed in the way that I've been.
My parents become frustrated with what they created and the fact that I am so upset about it.
It really makes me wonder what they would have done if I'd been born mentally handicapped or had some type of syndrome or something that requires 24/7 care. And more money than anyone could imagine. Or even if I was a wild child who partied and did drugs and got into loads of trouble (of which I was the opposite).
What would they do with their frustrations then?
All parents should anticipate the worst when deciding to have children. Don't have kids if you don't think you can handle the worst case scenario..seems like most parents can't even handle anything marginally close to that. I was threatened to be abandoned in the past. Which is very scary when you have issues that cause you to be dependent. Granted, I am on my way to CTB anyway. I still don't want the rug pulled out from under me while I plan and prepare.
So yea, ultimately they do bear the main responsibility for my being here. In terms of both nature and nurture. But I would get by just fine with them if nature was a little more kind to me.
I do not need perfect parents or a perfect family. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin. My extreme level of personal discomfort has ironically lead me to feel numb or indifferent in other areas of life that would bother most people. I lack the most basic level of freedom a human can experience, so everything outside of that just doesn't seem as bad or as important in comparison.
All the fights and horrible things said to me or threatened to me by either parent , any chink in the chain of my upbringing, it just can't light a candle to the bigger picture for me-of why I am in this predicament.
So I still blame my parents more for their mistake of creating me vs their mishandling of their creation. Because if I started out how I wanted to, I don't think anything they could have done-alone-would have me end up here. It was more of a domino effect that they set off by conceiving me in the first place. Bad luck really.
They are god awful in being sympathetic to my struggles even though they technically created them. My mother has gotten a bit better about things but her attitude changes on a dime. It depends on her own mood, how sparing she will be with me.
I don't think they anticipated having a child with my type of stuggle. My dad has issues regardless but my mom would seem a lot better to me if I wasn't born the way I was and if I perhaps, had a completely different and easier to tackle problem. She did try and she has qualities of a good mother as long as her children are "easy children." She can't handle difficulties (and my father complains about his own difficulties trumping everyone else's.)
But I can't help it. I didn't ask to be born. Or to have this face and body. I tried to change part of it once and ended up screwed over.
My siblings and even my cousins were not cursed in the way that I've been.
My parents become frustrated with what they created and the fact that I am so upset about it.
It really makes me wonder what they would have done if I'd been born mentally handicapped or had some type of syndrome or something that requires 24/7 care. And more money than anyone could imagine. Or even if I was a wild child who partied and did drugs and got into loads of trouble (of which I was the opposite).
What would they do with their frustrations then?
All parents should anticipate the worst when deciding to have children. Don't have kids if you don't think you can handle the worst case scenario..seems like most parents can't even handle anything marginally close to that. I was threatened to be abandoned in the past. Which is very scary when you have issues that cause you to be dependent. Granted, I am on my way to CTB anyway. I still don't want the rug pulled out from under me while I plan and prepare.
So yea, ultimately they do bear the main responsibility for my being here. In terms of both nature and nurture. But I would get by just fine with them if nature was a little more kind to me.
I do not need perfect parents or a perfect family. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin. My extreme level of personal discomfort has ironically lead me to feel numb or indifferent in other areas of life that would bother most people. I lack the most basic level of freedom a human can experience, so everything outside of that just doesn't seem as bad or as important in comparison.
All the fights and horrible things said to me or threatened to me by either parent , any chink in the chain of my upbringing, it just can't light a candle to the bigger picture for me-of why I am in this predicament.
So I still blame my parents more for their mistake of creating me vs their mishandling of their creation. Because if I started out how I wanted to, I don't think anything they could have done-alone-would have me end up here. It was more of a domino effect that they set off by conceiving me in the first place. Bad luck really.
Last edited:
Sweet emotion
Enlightened
- Sep 14, 2019
- 1,325
Yes I'd definitely would want my mother to have my ashes. I'm not to crazy about he idea of being put in an oven and having my body burned but it's the cheapest way to do it.
peacefully31425
Dirtbag
- Aug 28, 2018
- 162
I was definitely negatively influenced by the environment that they created, but they were also raised in pretty shitty environments.
Tristan Reeveur
Member
- Aug 29, 2019
- 15
My parents gave me my gargoyle esque genetics and a fucking y chromosome, so yes, it's their fault
LastFlowers
the haru that can read
- Apr 27, 2019
- 2,170
I understand the genetics, but why the
Y chromosome?
Do you feel you would be more comfortable as a female?
Did you want to transition?
You don't have to answer if you don't want to. Just curious
Unfortunately there's no point transitioning if I won't pass, and it's too late for that to be possible.
Besides, if never be a girl even if I did, just a freak with a disgusting wound between my legs.
LastFlowers
the haru that can read
- Apr 27, 2019
- 2,170
Ahh, I understand. Sometimes there's nothing like the real deal. And after so much suffering and loss of time, it probably seems like nothing else would be acceptable.
I'm very sorry for your predicament and I can relate to some degree.
It is truly unfair.
Numbtopain97
deader than dead
- Aug 10, 2019
- 443
not4us
Experienced
- Sep 21, 2019
- 246
FrailPaleStaleMaleSS
Hopeless addict druggicel
- Oct 21, 2019
- 140
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
Some people should have taken that very short trip to the corner shop to purchase one small packet of condoms- if they wanted to get their rocks off-they don't cost much- rather than breed & torment their very own off spring when they are children- purely because of their momentary lapse in good decision making & because they were a bit horny one evening. Any idiot in the world can reproduce - it takes different qualities to be a good & worthy parent. Some people need to just stop & THINK!
Whitewash11235814
Experienced
- Oct 21, 2019
- 207
Many variables involved in my predicament but its hard to say no. I've had a very very turbulent upbringing. My parents always loved me, but I'm so different from them that its literally impossible for me to relate to them. Both of them are very old-school in their mentality. When I first arrived in US, I discovered my step-dad didn't even believe in mental illness. He genuinely believed it was all make-believe. So, you can imagine that when I developed true clinical depression, they had no clue how to deal with it. I've been called every name in the book by my parents. From useless to the devil, I mean you name it and its up there on the list. I'm smarter than both of them by a mile and both of them acknowledge this openly. I'm so glad that I have wits at my disposal otherwise I'd already be dead by now. I don't manipulate them, its just that they both know they'll never be able to tell me what to do w/o a proper discourse. "Do as you are told" is the most stupid thing you can tell your child and is indicative of poor reasoning and likely low-self esteem and to top it off teaches absolutely null.
