therapy works, sometimes doesn't. i think i'd have already offed myself 15+ years ago were it not for that, i'll leave that up to you whether you think that's a good or bad thing. it's given me time to mature and think through this if i do decide to make the decision. i've matured enough to give some degree of a fuck for others, thinking that at least if i take my own life then they don't need to be further traumatized by needing to identify an obliterated body, and so changed up my ideal method over the years to account for that. like somebody else in the thread said, "can't say i didn't try."
fucking meds... the ones that didn't have side effects also didn't work, and the ones that did work had unbearable side effects. have BZ for anxiety as needed (but take daily tbh) but even that is just a temporary blanket, not a fix. nothing has ever worked long term even when i've put up with the shitty side effects for a year.
honestly, worth giving a shot if you've got the money and resources. some of us are lifers (well, until we off ourselves) and some of us can have our minds changed. i can't tell you what is the best option for you. our lives may be very different, yours might be "objectively" much better or much worse than mine. but i mean we're talking to each other on here. just because someone has a stupid piece of paper and a few letters after their name doesn't necessarily immediately mean they can't provide the same support (if nothing else, a place to talk) that we can. i've had my same therapist for a long time and it was only within the last 12 months that i started talking more openly about suicide because i learned he wasn't a mandated reporter who had to call the squad on me if i dared even utter the S word.
but if you don't want to, eh, i'm not your mom. you're your own human with your own bodily autonomy (at least you should be) and so i can't tell you what to do one way or the other. just take care of yourself... whatever that may mean to you. be careful, whatever that may mean to you.
fucking meds... the ones that didn't have side effects also didn't work, and the ones that did work had unbearable side effects. have BZ for anxiety as needed (but take daily tbh) but even that is just a temporary blanket, not a fix. nothing has ever worked long term even when i've put up with the shitty side effects for a year.
honestly, worth giving a shot if you've got the money and resources. some of us are lifers (well, until we off ourselves) and some of us can have our minds changed. i can't tell you what is the best option for you. our lives may be very different, yours might be "objectively" much better or much worse than mine. but i mean we're talking to each other on here. just because someone has a stupid piece of paper and a few letters after their name doesn't necessarily immediately mean they can't provide the same support (if nothing else, a place to talk) that we can. i've had my same therapist for a long time and it was only within the last 12 months that i started talking more openly about suicide because i learned he wasn't a mandated reporter who had to call the squad on me if i dared even utter the S word.
but if you don't want to, eh, i'm not your mom. you're your own human with your own bodily autonomy (at least you should be) and so i can't tell you what to do one way or the other. just take care of yourself... whatever that may mean to you. be careful, whatever that may mean to you.
