Help People who SH, what method(s) do you use? Have you been caught? How do you hide it?

[rabbit_feet]

Been on quite the downward spiral. I can't seem to get a grip despite telling myself over and over that I'm fucking up. I know in my brain that I can do better for myself but I just can't make myself take care of myself. I just don't think I'm worth the effort. I want so badly to punish myself. I live with my parents and everyone around me would be devastated if I got caught though. Help?
I just want to distract myself from the sadness. Even just pain would be nice. At least then I feel like I'd have a valid reason to feel like this

 

[MathConspiracy]

Sending love. But please don't start punishing yourself physically. My shins are fucked up and I'm afraid of walking around wearing skirts, I live at home too. It's really not worth it and besides, the wounds can get infected. What are you going to do then?

A way I punish myself is by simply sitting tight and doing nothing, maybe playing some stupid online game. I know it's quite dumb but maybe taking your mind off things by doing something utterly mindless would help?

 

[rabbit_feet]

Sending love. But please don't start punishing yourself physically. My shins are fucked up and I'm afraid of walking around wearing skirts, I live at home too. It's really not worth it and besides, the wounds can get infected. What are you going to do then?

A way I punish myself is by simply sitting tight and doing nothing, maybe playing some stupid online game. I know it's quite dumb but maybe taking your mind off things by doing something utterly mindless would help?

The biggest problem with sitting and doing nothing or doing something mindless is that I end up just stewing even more on the bad thoughts and feelings. I guess on one hand I'm afraid to SH for a multitude of reasons; infection, getting caught, the damage to my relationships upon being caught, hating my body even more because of scars, etc. but I just feel like I'm out of options. I don't know how to cope anymore. Everything that used to work has the opposite effect. Im in a never ending downward spiral cycle. I just want something quick to pull me out of it even if just for a moment

 

[MathConspiracy]

The biggest problem with sitting and doing nothing or doing something mindless is that I end up just stewing even more on the bad thoughts and feelings. I guess on one hand I'm afraid to SH for a multitude of reasons; infection, getting caught, the damage to my relationships upon being caught, hating my body even more because of scars, etc. but I just feel like I'm out of options. I don't know how to cope anymore. Everything that used to work has the opposite effect. Im in a never ending downward spiral cycle. I just want something quick to pull me out of it even if just for a moment

I know what you mean, it's really painful. I know what it feels like to spend too much time in your head. It's ultimately up to you whether you start to SH, but I still wouldn't recommend it – the repercussions may be the same as with a failed suicide attempt. Not trying to scare you, though.

I had a really bad phase a few weeks ago when I basically ruined the skin of my legs. And again, I don't want to sound like a fucking pro-lifer, but let me assure you – numbness will follow. After turmoil you'll feel at peace (although it's debatable how peaceful a state of numbness truly is).

Anyway, I'm sending my love and support to you, wherever you may be.

 

[Anonymousa]

I cut but I wouldn't suggest to do this unless you are okay with scars and clean your wounds. Its just I am absolutely fine with my scars and clean them so for me its more positive than negative for me. I mostly cut on my left forearm which I hid with arm warmers when healed. I put tissue around my arm and put the arm warmers up when its healing but I don't know if thats a full safe way to keep wounds protected. However most of the time I don't hide it cus I like others knowing about it so I get attention and maybe sympathy and to physically show I am in mental pain.

If you think that self harm is a good way to cope but don't want scars then there are ways to do so. You can try stuff that causes impact pain which can include flicking rubber bands on your arm or more extreme things like actually hitting yourself or using whips. Impact pain yourself in places where you can cover it with clothes so you can hide it if its leave temporally marks.

 

[rabbit_feet]

I know what you mean, it's really painful. I know what it feels like to spend too much time in your head. It's ultimately up to you whether you start to SH, but I still wouldn't recommend it – the repercussions may be the same as with a failed suicide attempt. Not trying to scare you, though.

I had a really bad phase a few weeks ago when I basically ruined the skin of my legs. And again, I don't want to sound like a fucking pro-lifer, but let me assure you – numbness will follow. After turmoil you'll feel at peace (although it's debatable how peaceful a state of numbness truly is).

Anyway, I'm sending my love and support to you, wherever you may be.

I hope your legs heal okay. Thank you for the support

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Please don't SH. I'm saying this as someone who has SHed for around a decade now. It's not worth it and punishing yourself won't do shit.

 

[rabbit_feet]

I cut but I wouldn't suggest to do this unless you are okay with scars and clean your wounds. Its just I am absolutely fine with my scars and clean them so for me its more positive than negative. I mostly cut on my left forearm which I hid with arm warmers when healed. I put tissue around my arm and put the arm warmers up when its healing but I don't know if thats a full safe way to keep wounds protected. However most of the time I don't hide it cus I like others knowing about it so I get attention and maybe sympathy and to physically show I am in mental pain.

If you think that self harm is a good way to cope but don't want scars then there are ways to do so. You can try stuff that causes impact pain which can include flicking rubber bands on your arm or more extreme things like actually hitting yourself or using whips. Impact pain yourself in places where you can cover it with clothes so you can hide it if its leave temporally marks.

I have major body image issues as it is. My body is already riddled with scars from stupid accidents or from cat scratches. I guess I'm only ok with the scars I have now because they aren't self-inflicted. A part of me wants to leave marks to remind myself of the pain but I also think I'll end up hating myself more for allowing myself to further damage my body. Idk I'm just kind of rambling atp. I appreciate your advice tho

Please don't SH. I'm saying this as someone who has SHed for around a decade now. It's not worth it and punishing yourself won't do shit.

I feel like this is the kind of response I hear most often from people who've experienced SH. I'm sorry that you've endured enough hardship to feel the need to take it out on your body. At the end of the day, I think I'm too scared to do it.