Ordering SN despite a suicidal history

[Gone soon]

I had an almost successful attempt on hanging when I was 14. I was found only few moments before succeeding. Police also got involved. Does that mean I'm on their record now? I'd like to order SN, but I fear being discovered and put into psychiatry again. Does anybody know anything about that? Thanks for every advice

 

[dopaminedeath]

What country? Are you a minor? Depends on laws and accessibility of the substance
Are you importing or is it local
Thats few things to consider. Probably someone else can give insight

I saw someone using a made up name to order it from the current source and it didn't matter

 

[Gone soon]

I'm from Germany, 21 years old

 

[Linda]

My guess - and it can only be a guess because I don't know how they do things in Germany - is that there will be a record, somewhere, of your past attempt at hanging. So I think there is a risk that they would look very carefully at any attempt to buy SN.
If you nearly succeeded with the hanging attempt last time, presumably you know how to do it effectively ...
Why do you want to ctb?
I see from one of your earlier posts that you are trans. If the hostility that trans people sometimes get is driving you to suicide, my advice would be to not let the haters win. Fight back. Be yourself. There are many trans people on this site. You should be able to find a lot of support here. (The Site Administrator, RainAndSadness, is trans herself.)

 

[Gone soon]

I have the desire to die since many years. People treat me as a failure, especially my family. I think death is an improvement to what my life is.

I'm afraid that I might fail on hanging again, so I think about alternatives

 

[Linda]

I have the desire to die since many years. People treat me as a failure, especially my family. I think death is an improvement to what my life is.

I'm afraid that I might fail on hanging again, so I think about alternatives

Just because other people treat you as a failure, it doesn't mean that you are a failure, or that you should regard yourself as one. Don't internalise other people's opinions of you. If I had cared about what other people thought about me, I would have been dead many years ago. Be yourself, be proud of being yourself, and just ignore what other people think.
Remember that people regarded Albert Einstein as a failure until he was about 25 years old. He was nothing of the sort, of course. He just thought in a different way than the people around him, and all those small-minded people couldn't see that they themselves were the failures (or, at least, the mediocrities) and that he was the smart one.
If you ever need to talk, you can contact me via a private message. (The ability to send PMs becomes available after you have been on the site a certain period of time and have made a certain minimum number of posts.)