Ordered my SN at last.

[gothbird]

I finally ordered my SN this morning. I honestly thought that perhaps I would feel more nervous or afraid now, since I have been exceptionally calm about killing myself since my first attempt 15 years ago. I thought that with the finality of it, with the almost guaranteed passing in a way I can do it due to my illness, with no potential slow death from not taking enough of an overdose or someone finding me, it would affect me more. But frankly, seeing the confirmation and speaking with DMC, I feel even more calm than I expected. In fact, I am happy. I am elated. I am relaxed. Peace has me. I am so thankful that I am going to be able to die on the shore of my favorite private beach and be pain-free.

 

[FuneralCry]

I imagine it must be a relief to feel at peace, I wish you the best.