Venting Only thing missing is a date

[a_pine_tree]

I planned my method (night night), quickly tested it with what I have (it seems to work, gets me feeling dizzy in a way i never feel). I have planned what I want my last meal to be, made my playlist I'll be listening to, know what I'll wear, know I'll do it in my bed with my plushies...
The only thing I'm missing is a date now. I don't want to die, but there's no way I'll keep living like this, and there is no solution that is good enough for me.
I don't want to do it too impulsively, so I guess I'm just waiting for the people I love to get bored of me so it'll hurt them less.
I can't stop crying lately, I spend all day lying in bed, waiting. Waiting for the guy I fell in love with to love me, waiting for my lifelong disabilities to stop, waiting for the pain to end. But it never happens. I'm exhausted.

 

[bolt]

I think I read it here that it fails frequently..... not trying to be the bearer of bad news.... Hope you find peace

 

[FuneralCry]

I would personally prefer to just leave when the time feels right rather than setting a date in advance to be free from this world, I think that it can be difficult to set a date as after all life is unpredictable. The night night method does sound unreliable and risky to me, but I guess that if it does work then it's always another option for ctb. But anyway I'm sorry that life has tortured you so much, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot, the reality is that there could never be anything fair about existing in such a cruel world.

 

[jodes2]

Yeah it's a difficult method. Good luck