Only reservation is the potential for me to have a child. Selfish?

[Darkover]

don't bring children into this cruel world i know for fact i wish i was never born at all it just brings you alive to live out your misery here
if you want to have children adopt one

 

[bpdblackout]

Would you consider adopting a child or even getting a pet? I do completely understand the need to feel companionship and to feel loved and needed.

I do honestly struggle with the idea of people bringing children into this world- but that's mainly because I hate the fact that I was born to begin with. I wouldn't want my child to feel like I have. Still- I know other people make a success of it. Life just feels too risky for me though- to bring a life here without its own consent. Still- I wish you well- whatever you decide.

I have strongly considered adoption. Leaning towards it if I don't CTB. All of the anti - children havers can lower their pitchforks slightly. Lol

 

[tiredone]

Father of 2 here. When we decided to have kids, neither of us knew about mental health problems in our familes. As it turns out, both kids got problems, as do we. Decision is yours in the end.

 

[bpdblackout]

Unless you've experienced giving birth, it's impossible to understand the emotions involved. It's crazy homes.

please say it louder for the people in the back

I don't think that's the only way you can experience "all consuming & unconditional love" and a lot of of parent/child relationships turn out highly conditional.
I also don't see being a mom as "the hardest job in the world", but every parent will of course make that claim, usually in a way that belittles other people's struggles.
(I know plenty of mothers who would never want to trade places with me, for one thing..they'd off themselves immediately from the weight of it.)
But sure, if you want to be a good parent, and depending on the degree to which your child either withers or thrives in this world, you may or may not have to sacrifice most things in life.
A sacrifice begets sacrifice.
It should be expected.


Having children should not be seen as a goal or reached for as an achievement either.
But as of now, that's how it's presented in society.
Social media competing made it worse.

"If someone traded places with me they'd CTB"

I am immediately suspicious of anyone who says that.

1. Implying you have more strength or mental fortitude than anyone else. This isn't a damn competition.

2. There are people out there (alive and dead) who would literally kill to have your life. No matter how fucked you may think you are. Even if you're strung out on drugs, living in a car with no AC, no family, $50,000 in debt with only one fucking leg. There are people (alive and dead) that would trade their life for that.
2a. Is this a valid reason to avoid CTB? No I don't think so. but failing to consider it at all and proclaiming that "anyone else in my body would CTB" is more than likely not true.

Additionally,
Being a mother might not be the most difficult job, but raising children in any scenario is harder than not raising any in any scenario.

So miss me with that whole shebangbang.

 

[Truth1234]

Please don't bring a child into this world if you do not have the resources to look after them. Better to live with pets.