On killing

[lacrimosa]

If you are interested in the psychology behind killing and why it is so hard to kill yourself or even another human being, you should definitely read this book: On Killing by Lt. Col. David Grossman

Preview: (Warning: Contains spoilers) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_Killing

Please note: I am posting this for research purposes only and will not be held responsible in any way, shape, or form if this influences your decision to CTB or anything else. I am not advocating that you CTB or anything of the sort.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

I heard about this but didn't know the name of the study. What I heard was that soldiers in Vietnam would unconsciously aim their guns slightly too high and were going through too much ammo per kill ratio.

I did some full contact martial arts training for a bit, no gloves and no pads and it was really hard to throw even partial strength punches. And it wasn't just me, nearly everyone that wasn't training this way for awhile had the same difficulty. It was like a mental wall that effected the muscles. I can definitely see how this plays into the same circuitry as SI, especially for certain methods.

This also seems to align with something called "High Places Phenomenon". This is where even non-suicidal people experience both a fear of heights and also an urge to jump. It can also happen on train platforms or with an urge to drive into oncoming traffic for seemingly no reason. The study suggested it had to do with what they called "anxiety sensitivity" and the brain firing too fast reasoning the sense of danger and recoiling as an indicator of having "wanted" to jump which is confusing for someone that isn't suicidal. I've experienced this on high places like cliffs when hiking. "OMG this is so high, what if I just flung myself off? OMG why did I think that? Oh crap what if that part of my brain takes over and makes me jump off even though I don't want to?" It's a very strange feeling and probably why jumping to ctb would be nearly impossible for me to do.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032711006847