Help Oh fellas, I'm fucked

[BleedingConstantly]

Hiyaaa y'all,

sorry for being gone for so fucking long but I just had one of the worst mental breakdowns in a while.

TLDR: I got certified in EMS as a EMT, got tramuatized to shit, developed a really close friendship with a person that it's confusing the fuck out of me, academic stress since I'm stupid and still in school, and ofc religious psychosis and overthinking that caused me to lose my shit.

I thankfully didn't relapse on SUI or SH because I donated way too much blood in one day (Power Red at American Red Cross), so I couldn't use the methods I usually do. Bittersweet, but whatever. I am just frustrated. I wish I didn't deal with any of these, except for the EMT shit because that was very expected. I already have shitty mental health, but at least I'm still somewhat functioning by a single thread.

I don't know how to deal with any of these healthily. It's just so much. I am trying my best to just ... keep going when I never wanted to. God, I just hate this.

 

[timf]

It sounds like you have been able to keep it together enough to get certified as an EMT. If that is a core area that you can build on, it might be possible to expand your feeling of control outward. You might not have certainty or control yet in other areas, but if you have a foundation and recent achievement, that might contribute to building momentum for increasing control in the other area of your life.