Anne Alias
tired.
- Feb 11, 2025
- 39
Oblivion.
Its such a perfect word, oblivion. Its succinct, its all it needs to be. More impacful than nothing, than a void, than anything else you can call it. Its more than any of that.
When I picture it, its so... warm. Well not really, but in the sorta metaphorical way it all sort of works out to be. Its a morecomfortable familiar thing than a cold and lacking nothing. the darkness you see staring up at a dirty ceiling, darker around the edges with an impossibly thin sliver of early dawn light creeping in past the blinds. Something I've seen so many times I hardly even recognize it.
The oblivion of thought, of nothing feeling like what you should think so you don't. so there's nothing but static and the sound of your own breath. not even that really, its less than that.
Of looking at people and seeing nothing, feeling nothing, caring about nothing. Not wanting anything for more than a second- not longer than it takes for that familiar fatigue to set in and. thats all it takes, to get so so tired. all you need is to want . then you're back to the ground, to the dark, to the quiet, back to oblivion. knowing nothing and thinking nothing and being nothing.
Of looking in the mirror and seeing not quite a person. not quite anything. A hole where something should be. An empty thing. It looks like it could've been reaching for something once. now it's nothing.
Despite how much I've said 'nothing', oblivion is more than that. If it were nothing, the dark would not be there. no light would fill the space. the mirror wouldn't show something empty and lacking, it wouldn't show anything at all.
There's a comfort in it. I don't quite think I want to die, I don't think there's anything there. Its nothing. But god, I wish. I wish there were a comfortable oblivion waiting for me. I want that strange warmth that comes over me when I haven't eaten in far too long, the TV static that I watch form fleeting images in the dark, the pain in my stomach and the heaviness in my eyes. I relish in it. Its not healthy, I know that. but I love it. I just want to be there forever. Death could hold that, but.
What the fuck am I talking about. A ha ha ha. Anyways. I should probably eat... Lunch- dinner- breakf- one of those. Yeah.AAlso by the way I'm very mentally stable and normal, just like a horse. because stable. you get it. you get the joke. stable. like for horses. Laugh.
Actually I could go back to sleep. what the hell, I guess we'll see. I hope you all... uh... well didn't waste your time reading my stream of consciousness whatever the fuck this was. I guess I'll probably tag it as a vent?
Bye whoever you are. I hope you liked my horse joke.
Its such a perfect word, oblivion. Its succinct, its all it needs to be. More impacful than nothing, than a void, than anything else you can call it. Its more than any of that.
When I picture it, its so... warm. Well not really, but in the sorta metaphorical way it all sort of works out to be. Its a more
The oblivion of thought, of nothing feeling like what you should think so you don't. so there's nothing but static and the sound of your own breath. not even that really, its less than that.
Of looking at people and seeing nothing, feeling nothing, caring about nothing. Not wanting anything for more than a second- not longer than it takes for that familiar fatigue to set in and. thats all it takes, to get so so tired. all you need is to want . then you're back to the ground, to the dark, to the quiet, back to oblivion. knowing nothing and thinking nothing and being nothing.
Of looking in the mirror and seeing not quite a person. not quite anything. A hole where something should be. An empty thing. It looks like it could've been reaching for something once. now it's nothing.
Despite how much I've said 'nothing', oblivion is more than that. If it were nothing, the dark would not be there. no light would fill the space. the mirror wouldn't show something empty and lacking, it wouldn't show anything at all.
There's a comfort in it. I don't quite think I want to die, I don't think there's anything there. Its nothing. But god, I wish. I wish there were a comfortable oblivion waiting for me. I want that strange warmth that comes over me when I haven't eaten in far too long, the TV static that I watch form fleeting images in the dark, the pain in my stomach and the heaviness in my eyes. I relish in it. Its not healthy, I know that. but I love it. I just want to be there forever. Death could hold that, but.
What the fuck am I talking about. A ha ha ha. Anyways. I should probably eat... Lunch- dinner- breakf- one of those. Yeah.AAlso by the way I'm very mentally stable and normal, just like a horse. because stable. you get it. you get the joke. stable. like for horses. Laugh.
Actually I could go back to sleep. what the hell, I guess we'll see. I hope you all... uh... well didn't waste your time reading my stream of consciousness whatever the fuck this was. I guess I'll probably tag it as a vent?
Bye whoever you are. I hope you liked my horse joke.
