not being able to cry makes me want to ctb more

[bumbalumba200]

every single night where my suicidal ideation is heightened i want to cry but i can't and it makes me want to end it so much more, i don't really know what's wrong with me because normal people cry and deal with their emotions just fine

 

[hamvil]

some antidepressants can make you stop crying leaving however all the feelings inside, the closest analogy that comes to my mind is a cork in a bottle. The pain is all inside the bottle the anxiety the ideas but the antidepressant act like a cork blocking them, letting you feel all with the possibility to show it. To me this is torture and I am experimenting partially right now.

 

[Pluto]

I have this problem too. It feels like an intense pressure inside that never vents. It's awful.

I'm pretty sure it can be traced to a childhood where if I showed any sort of emotion, I would be further mocked and bullied. Now that it is safe to feel emotion, I don't know how.

 

[bumbalumba200]

I have this problem too. It feels like an intense pressure inside that never vents. It's awful.

I'm pretty sure it can be traced to a childhood where if I showed any sort of emotion, I would be further mocked and bullied. Now that it is safe to feel emotion, I don't know how.

it is sooo awful, when my friend describes how she cries so much i can only envy her, it seems horrible to want something like that but can you blame me?

 

[Γyuk]

I know exactly what you mean, I have this too.

What helped for me was a dosage of magic mushrooms some years ago. During the trip I started crying so hard, almost as if I was screaming. Emotions which were locked up for years were released and there was no stopping to it. The release from this was incredible and my mood uplifted for some days/weeks.

This was till this day the best day of my life. It was my first trip together with my brother in the forest.

P.s. I don't recommend shrooms to everyone, they can be dangerous!

 

[angel31]

Fuck I have exactly the same thing, I havent been able to cry properly for years… It sucks and im so sry u have this too… I am guessing I have this bc my father used to always make fun of me when i cried, maybe smth similar happened 2 u… Im sending u a big big big hug <333 and wish ull be able to cry soon:), fingers are crossed, love

it is sooo awful, when my friend describes how she cries so much i can only envy her, it seems horrible to want something like that but can you blame me?

Im also really jelly when people tell me how they cry and its not horrible to want something like that, bc ur not envying the feelings, but the ability to express them and let them out. Dont feel bad about ur feelings, they arent ur fault :)

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be awful wanting to cry yet feeling like you are unable to, existence is just too cruel.