No rest

[niiina]

Im able to sleep at night thanks to sleeping pills, but once I wake up I'm having a full panic attack, I feel I couldn't rest at all. I bring myself to try to sleep a bit or to rest during the day but it's impossible.
After my failure attempting full suspension I've became hesitant, but like physically hesitant, suicide doesn't come out of my mind not even for a second, but my body is panicking all day long, I have fevers I tremble a lot, my heart is accelerated all the time, every day. I can't just distract myself with anything, my body won't let me forget my clock is ticking but at the same time it won't let me.
Those symptoms together with this obsession for suicide are making my crazy, I'll not have peace till I ctb but my body just freezes facing what I need to do.
Is anybody else going through that?

 

[Anonymus]

Me only a few times a year (the way I imagine it happens to you). At the moment, in my day to day, I only have a perennial discomfort but that still doesn't prevent me from doing a few things that I like.

Although I've been sleeping quite badly for a couple of weeks with no apparent external cause, I couldn't tonight (I was very nervous for no reason and I was hot and cold at the same time) it's normal for me to happen, I have better seasons than others.

I'm just worried that my sleeping techniques are no longer of any use and I don't know what to do when it hits me hard but wait until I'm completely exhausted and get some sleep before getting up.

//

Jo només unes poques vegades l'any (de la manera que m'imagino que et passa). De moment, en el meu día a día, només tinc un malestar perenne però que encara no m'impedeix fer unes poques coses que em venen de gust.

Tot i que porto un parell de setmanes dormint força malament sense causa externa aparent, aquesta nit no podía (estava molt nerviós sense motiu i tenía calor i fred alhora) el normal en mi es que passi, tinc temporades millor que d'altres.

Només em preocupa que les meves técniques per dormir ja no tenen cap servei i no se que fer quan m'agafa fort sinó és esperar a esgotar-me del tot i dormir una mica abans de llevar-me.