I've never felt loved my whole life.not from family not from anyone.ive been used like of o was nothing like if i had no worth.ive never felt like I mattered.I never felt like i belonged anywhere.i was coerced and used.i have even more trauma now.all for someone that never even bothered to have a conversation with me.or take me on a date.it was the only time i did it.im hurt.and i did it cause i just didn't feel like i mattered and i was going to kill myslef anyway.i didn't want to go to there house.they used their body wait against me.the taste was awful i didn't know that was gonna happen.i was so stupid.i thought someone could love me.i thought someone could care about me.and i kept on going back cause i didn't want to feel like a hookup.i wanted love connection anything just anything.and got nothing but trauma.cant smell weed it makes me sick.please i just wanna kill myself i just want to kill myself i just want to kill myslef please i want to die.im in so much pain i cant do this shit.every fucking day is like this I want death.im a leech who lives of her mother I can't go outside because I hate myself and just want to hide.i can't sleep thinking about my shitty life
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