Help Need help with methods, also I think I figured out how to fix my life

[sohopelessandempty]

I've changed my mindset, I've decided that I can't ctb if I don't complete all my goals. Basically me forcing myself to EARN death instead of give up right now. Not saying anyone has to earn it, this is just something I'm trying because I don't really look forward to things, but if I have suicide to look forward to, maybe it could push me to complete my goals. And there's also a rare chance once I complete those, life won't be so bad anymore. However, this plan only works if I have things planned out, I don't want to complete all my goals and if I still want to die I've gotta do a ton of research and planning that takes forever, if I plan my suicide now, I have a mostly guaranteed exit and then I'll have something to work for. So I guess, I'm asking for help to plan, it doesn't mean I'll do it but I need to have a method at least.

 

[ipmanwc0]

good idea, this is pretty similar to what i'm doing

 

[kitkatt]

I've changed my mindset, I've decided that I can't ctb if I don't complete all my goals. Basically me forcing myself to EARN death instead of give up right now. Not saying anyone has to earn it, this is just something I'm trying because I don't really look forward to things, but if I have suicide to look forward to, maybe it could push me to complete my goals. And there's also a rare chance once I complete those, life won't be so bad anymore. However, this plan only works if I have things planned out, I don't want to complete all my goals and if I still want to die I've gotta do a ton of research and planning that takes forever, if I plan my suicide now, I have a mostly guaranteed exit and then I'll have something to work for. So I guess, I'm asking for help to plan, it doesn't mean I'll do it but I need to have a method at least.

I think that puts into words what I've been doing with my life. I keep using goal posts to escape but I'm too tired to keep pretending:(

 

[Realgar]

The guaranteed exit is worth gold. I like what you have said!

 

[sohopelessandempty]

The guaranteed exit is worth gold. I like what you have said!

Thank you, if only I could actually figure it out. Can someone help me

I think that puts into words what I've been doing with my life. I keep using goal posts to escape but I'm too tired to keep pretending:(

I always feel like I'm pretending too, maybe if I actually figured out a good method then it wouldn't be lying to myself anymore, it would be a real reward option.