My new suicide attempt

[Forveleth]

Bon voyage! I hope you find peace.

 

[NutOrat]

Goodbye, @braintorture! Wish you peace and happiness in any case!

 

[dalemar]

I cried a little and I wrote my letter. The hang and knot is ready.

Good bye SaSu

Sending A LOT of love to you!
I wish you again, all the best!
I cant imagine how hard circumstances might have been to take you there. I just want to tell you I feel mad respect for you, your determination, and how you coped up with the pressure you had to go after your previous attemp! I am sure you will have the peace you deserve!

 

[Macedonian1987]

Goodbye, may you finally find peace on the other side.

 

[fruitninjamaster]

Find rest, i will remember your soul

 

[ScholarOfDespair]

May you rest in peace :(

I cried a little and I wrote my letter. The hang and knot is ready.

Good bye SaSu

 

[braintorture]

First attempt - pretty crazy.

I just litterally passed out and fell and I thought I slept. Felt like when they give you the laughing gas

I needed to get the hang of it. I'm doing partial suspension mostly with a limited height and on a bed so I have to be quite technical with the rope.

I've been trying idk how many times to get the carotid artery but yeah just 10 seconds ago I passed out and hurt my knees lol I thought I slept. The feeling was crazy

 

[itsgone2]

I needed to get the hang of it. I'm doing partial suspension mostly with a limited height and on a bed so I have to be quite technical with the rope.

Partial seems to have a high fail rate. Was this the plan or nowhere in room for fsh?

 

[braintorture]

I can't risk fsh because that means going outside… should I go to a forest and try fsh? I really wanna do partial

 

[dalemar]

Partial seems to have a high fail rate. Was this the plan or nowhere in room for fsh?

Without being an expert, i think the same. Full seems to have higher success chances.

 

[braintorture]

Just to recap, when I'm having the euphoria and delirious part do I let it happen or not. I'm basically on my knees
—

Hello there reporting back.

Second attempt - on my knees, partial. I managed to do the hospital anesthesia like delirium gas.

I finally figured out how to ensure that - and I don't know if that's passing out or not.

Step 1, locate the heartbeat (with the two fingers method) under the Adam's apple, on the right side.
Step 2, press your rope on the heartbeat hard with one hand and use the other to pull the rope above to choke yourself. Apply pressure.


Step 3, put yourself above the ground enough to reach your ligatures max height (basically until it can't go down any longer)

you should start feeling now light headed after 3 to 4 seconds.

—

Not sure if I did it correctly and if after the euphoria I actually black out and die so I'll be waiting for some advice.

 

[Eriktf]

Hope you either find peace or get help either way good luck

 

[Al_stargate]

Damn man. I thought after they found you few days ago you'd be closely monitored for a while. I don't know much about hanging and cant help. Sorry it came to this. Wish you well in any case!

 

[instormdrains]

How you feeling big bro

 

[Exhausted546]

Basically yelled and stopped me and then talked about how his wife nearly did the same thing and he was talking to me about getting help and whatever.

He was very nice actually. But pissed me off still.

Mind you some people passed by and didn't react. Only he did

Then he said I don't have a choice to call the cops and remove the rope etc

I was pretty annoyed. See the clip
View attachment 190297

But you had been hanging for 1-2 mins? You were not passed out??

Basically yelled and stopped me and then talked about how his wife nearly did the same thing and he was talking to me about getting help and whatever.

He was very nice actually. But pissed me off still.

Mind you some people passed by and didn't react. Only he did

Then he said I don't have a choice to call the cops and remove the rope etc

I was pretty annoyed. See the clip
View attachment 190297

But you had been hanging for 1-2 mins? You were not passed out??

Just to recap, when I'm having the euphoria and delirious part do I let it happen or not. I'm basically on my knees
—

Hello there reporting back.

Second attempt - on my knees, partial. I managed to do the hospital anesthesia like delirium gas.

I finally figured out how to ensure that - and I don't know if that's passing out or not.

Step 1, locate the heartbeat (with the two fingers method) under the Adam's apple, on the right side.
Step 2, press your rope on the heartbeat hard with one hand and use the other to pull the rope above to choke yourself. Apply pressure.
View attachment 190340
View attachment 190342
Step 3, put yourself above the ground enough to reach your ligatures max height (basically until it can't go down any longer)

you should start feeling now light headed after 3 to 4 seconds.

—

Not sure if I did it correctly and if after the euphoria I actually black out and die so I'll be waiting for some advice.

Out of curiosity, I had difficulty with partial too then after seeing many videos of people doing full using a door, it seemed very simple to do a FSH using a door, it's what I'll be going for

 

[bananaolympus]

hopefully everything goes your way this time hope you find peace

 

[Sucka4life]

@braintorture Are you with us?

 

[Jisatsu]

I think they maybe gone

 

[darksouls]

best of luck and safe travels my friend

 

[tiltedcompass]

Take care, hope you find peace.

 

[kouna]

Hope all went as planned! Happy travels!

 

[srilankanbeyotch]

I cried a little and I wrote my letter. The hang and knot is ready.

Good bye SaSu

bye braintorture! may you find the peace we all are looking for!

 

[dasmurphy]

Sounds like you got your wish this time, I hope you found everything you were hoping for. Bon voyage mate

 

[a4001]

Rest easy bro

 

[braintorture]

Hey there. Sorry but my attempt failed. I tried at least 5 times but my body's SI kicked in aggressively and is putting me into extreme exhaustion.

I'm giving up on partial and full suspension - they're too difficult.

I don't know why my SI becoming so extremely agressive but I've not been able to finish the job. I feel mad disappointed.

I've managed to black out only once but failed because the hang above me wasn't strong enough and it released me and I hit my head on the floor. I last maybe less than 40 seconds or similar. I don't remember - time feels strange when you're blacking out

There's a train track just next to me (5 min walk), high speed trains go there. They are pretty often. I'll either do this or jump a high height/bridge.

I'm going absolutely nuts and I'm MAD

Does anyone have any resources for train assisted suicide? Thanks

 

[a4001]

Unfortunately the megathread doesn't seem to have anything so here's my two cents on trains

In my own experience the SI is quite strong with trains, you've got a long while for them to actually come up on you. Idk how you'd want to go about addressing that, but drugs or just looking the other way might be an option. I'm also sure you're aware of what could happen if SI kicks in last moment.

If it works, it would cause a lot of suffering outside of the people who you knew in life. Operators usually never forget suicides they (were forced to) facilitate, and neither would the firefighters that will have to pull your mangled body from under the wheels. There's no pretty way to die but it's one of the ugliest. Whether any of that matters, or if the balance of pain created from your death vs the pain created from your life is worth it is up to you

Sorry if this wasn't much help. I hope you may find peace soon.

Edit: there's no shame in an attempt not going to plan. Shits hard. If our subconscious didn't scream out to continue to live even in the face of the most extreme pain then the amount of ppl on this forum would be next to zero.

 

[braintorture]

Unfortunately the megathread doesn't seem to have anything so here's my two cents on trains

In my own experience the SI is quite strong with trains, you've got a long while for them to actually come up on you. Idk how you'd want to go about addressing that, but drugs or just looking the other way might be an option. I'm also sure you're aware of what could happen if SI kicks in last moment.

If it works, it would cause a lot of suffering outside of the people who you knew in life. Operators usually never forget suicides they (were forced to) facilitate, and neither would the firefighters that will have to pull your mangled body from under the wheels. There's no pretty way to die but it's one of the ugliest. Whether any of that matters, or if the balance of pain created from your death vs the pain created from your life is worth it is up to you

Sorry if this wasn't much help. I hope you may find peace soon.

Edit: there's no shame in an attempt not going to plan. Shits hard. If our subconscious didn't scream out to continue to live even in the face of the most extreme pain then the amount of ppl on this forum would be next to zero.

I don't plan on jumping I plan on putting my neck / head on the track

 

[a4001]

I don't plan on jumping I plan on putting my neck / head on the track

Fair enough, though it may be worth it to consider that the tgvs have a little guard at the locomotive in front of the leading wheels so it's likely that you'll get hit by that before the wheels get you. It'll probably work anyways but the risk is a little higher.

 

[dalemar]

One question.
Disclaimer: I have NO idea on how hanging works, absolutely 0 idea.
BUT, isn't full suspension a quite fast method for catching the bus? I know partial is not very reliable, but full? Isn't that better than the train method?
I mean, I suspect the train method has to be fast, but I don't know how you might feel while lying on the tracks waiting for the train (I have 0 idea about this method as well). I guess people might take some benzos or alcohol, trying to be kinda sleepy, and put some headphones with music, so you can't hear the train coming, right?

 

[kouna]

How about your mother? Did she catch eye of your attempts?
How about your mother? Did she catch eye of your attempts?