BPD_LE

BPD_LE

The Queen of Meme
Aug 11, 2019
1,576
What, ideally, would you've liked them to do?
Honestly? Put their arms around me and tell me I'm loved. Put me in a family like an adult foster kid and show me, with love, that my life is worth living.
 
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SlackJim

SlackJim

Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost
Sep 30, 2019
226
This song is by a band a few friends of mine are in, thought I'd leave it here since its kind of relevant to this topic

 
W

Winter_Flower

Always thirsty for summer rain x
May 18, 2019
73
Totally know what you mean. I 40 and been under the mental health team for ten years. My anxiety meds are just right but my moodstabliser meds have never been right. I have never had a cpn the reason being because I have 'EUPD/BPD' I can't have one. The crisis team are pretty much 'ok you feel suicidal' call us if you need us.......yes I was told that.......so why did I call them in the first place? The charity I had for counselling on a specific subject closed down last month. Had my six monthly appointment with my psych on Monday and she won't change my meds. Wanted to make a double appointment with my gp to discuss this, the lack of counselling now and some other issues but told no I couldn't have one even though it states on their website 'if you need more time to ask when making appointment'. So I basically cancelled my ten minute appointment as I won't achieve anything in it. I'm on my own now because I've lost all trust and now drinking and taking cocodamol or diazepam to numb the thoughts and help stop the suicidal urges. Last night I was close to ending it all. I kind of feel they've given up on me and now I've given up on myself. Can't even be bothered to shower. Which for me is a huge thing as I used to shower twice a day. It's been a week x What is the point in the nhs mental health system? x Oh and all this starter because I went into my gp ten years ago to tell her my moods around my periods where very bad. I thought I had pmdd but came out with a script for depression which I still don't believe was right. Tried to explain this to my psych on Monday and she said nope, can't give you any meds for it x
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
Honestly? Put their arms around me and tell me I'm loved. Put me in a family like an adult foster kid and show me, with love, that my life is worth living.

That's pretty much what I'd want, too. I've been waiting for it my whole life. Never happened. Not once. I guess some people are just luckier than others. Hope you find it.
 
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BPD_LE

BPD_LE

The Queen of Meme
Aug 11, 2019
1,576
That's pretty much what I'd want, too. I've been waiting for it my whole life. Never happened. Not once. I guess some people are just luckier than others. Hope you find it.
Yes they are and many take it for granted. It's not going to happen.
 
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blahblah

Member
Oct 26, 2019
29
I've wanted that too. A big part of why I'm ctb is because my relationship with my family is and has been so bad.

With regards to UK mental health services, I've reached out for help many times and gotten nowhere. Prozac/fluoxetine used to work well for me, but hasn't for years now. I'm not under any kind of mental health provision/support now, though I tried many times, I've now given up on them. I even grew a pair and told them this and I was taken off a waiting list for therapy which I'd been on for a year lol. I actually feel as though the NHS would rather that I kill myself. I think that I either have AvPD or some form of autism - I can't develop relationships with others though I would like to, I have severe trust and avoidance issues. I'm completely alone, though I don't want to be. I find it quite hilarious how I live my life, and yet, as far as I'm aware, I have no diagnosis beyond depression.
 
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Polka

Polka

Student
Oct 6, 2019
135
care in the community = no care in a non existent community and mega $ for bankers as the old mental hospitals are turned into luxury apartment blocks for foreign investors. Tories and Commies both get rich on the kick backs.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
My brother who had cancer had an accident while he was in Blackpool (cheap U.K. version of Vegas)
He was treated like royality the bloke next to him with contempt as he OD on coke. When he was discharged my brother gave him £50 said please look after yourself mate. The next day he came in and visited him for nearly a month until he was discharged and sent back to Birmingham. His name is Carl. When my brother was in the hospice he came down and stayed with him and was with him when he died. My brother showed him a bit of humanity and he showed my brother it back.
Don't ever judge a book by its cover.
Hear hear. Your brother sounds like he was a top bloke.
 
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Rachel74

Rachel74

Enlightened
Sep 7, 2019
1,716
My CPN said they can add a SSRI to the venlafaxine? Have you heard of this? I'm scared to come off it x
I think this is what my CPN is going to do too. Just researching myself what is best to be taken.
What, ideally, would you've liked them to do?
My crisis team are ok but undercut so much that when you get to see them they are nearly dead themselves. They do try their best but with less and less units and beds available there is little they can do apart from home visits. They said they couldn't do that here as not enough CPN to do that.
 
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BPD_LE

BPD_LE

The Queen of Meme
Aug 11, 2019
1,576
My crisis team are ok but undercut so much that when you get to see them they are nearly dead themselves. They do try their best but with less and less units and beds available there is little they can do apart from home visits. They said they couldn't do that here as not enough CPN to do that.

Exactly, I don't know who felt more hopeless about my situation. Me or them. They apologise for the poor service but there's nothing they can do. They have no money.
 
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Misanthrope

Misanthrope

Mage
Oct 23, 2018
557
I personally gave up on much of mental health services a long time ago after being forcibly drugged on a medication that I knew had a high risk of producing onset diabetes. My grounds for refusal were based on that and my father already has diabetes which increased my risk. All of that went ignored. After that experience and being helped out of there by an advocacy organisation I joined them once I got my shit together. What helped me sort myself out was nothing standard services offered. Came down to sheer luck of getting a competent therapist when I couldn't be bothered to wait. Paid for on a sliding scale with no rationing of sessions. Delivered by a wonderful charity at the time. Went from housebound paranoia of being looked at, to lecturing and battling bureaucratic systems and getting involved with the politics at work behind mental health legislation. Although that turned me into the misanthrope I am today... Pretty amazing looking back from the impossibility of getting my mail to now. Mowed the mental weeds over some years and somewhat thrived for a while but I also had the support of friends who I had made my loving family. Managed to reconnect with my estranged father. Love really is everything especially if you have none for yourself initially. Loneliness is so often trivialised.

The reason though you won't find hugs as standard from any sort of service, well lets just say I had to attend a meeting entitled, 'Liability and considering touch.'

Sigh.
 
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