Maybe it’s time

[Moonicide]

So I failed. Whoever said I should've started off sober was right. I got so drunk, that I started the charcoal wrong. After my car filled with smoke, I blacked out, ended up drinking the NyQuil I had, vomiting and peeing myself and then opened the car door and was found by paramedics with my face on the ground. I remember vaguely but I do remember screaming and crying in the ambulance that I wanted to die. I'm so stupid. I still want to die. I'm lucky no brain damage but just means I need to be smarter and find a more reliable method I can't be saved from.. if there is a god, Damn it. I hate living. Thank you to those who heard me on the day I was trying to make it my last.

I am so sorry, love. You have endured so much pain and you deserve to be at peace.
Sending you lots of love and support.

 

[noonetoo]

Noonetoo - I am just reading your thread and join others in saying I am so sorry for the unfair events in your life that
have crushed you. I think all members recognize your despair and hopelessness. We are lucky you suffered no
brain damage and ask you to please return to the forum as soon as you can so we be here for you, talk things out
and be the support you deserve. Love and Peace to you.

I'm sorry I don't even know what day it is. I'm feeling overwhelmed and just over pressured, overthinking all the occurrences and the way people are currently acting in my surroundings. It's bullshit people act like they care only after the matter but no one cares when a nobody is depressed. I'm tired of being told I'm the problem, I need to fix myself, I need therapy. People who want to live should fix themselves but for those of us that have our minds set and keep praying to die, yet of course prayers always get left unanswered. It's why I have no faith because even when your pain and life is in the hands of someone else, and you pray and pray where is this god ? Just letting horrible things happen. I just don't want to feel anymore. I'm weak.

 

[jgm63]

Sorry for your situation.
Have you thought about what your intentions are, and what you want to do ?
We'll try to offer support as best we can.