Venting Losing the only two people who have ever loved me

[YourLocalSadGirly]

It's been a bit since it happened but I realized today that the only two people who have ever loved me in my entirety have left me. My girlfriend killed herself 7 weeks ago. My close friend who I was in a short relationship with about a year ago blocked me everywhere like a week ago with no warning. I think genuinely those are the only two people who have ever understood me and accepted me for who I am.

I have two close friends now, thank god, who mean the world to me but it isn't the same. I guess I at least know that it's possible for others to love me but I'm scared I'll never find someone that truly gets me ever again. Especially one who won't leave me one way or another. I hope everyone here is doing well and thank you if you read my post :).

 

[U. A.]

Hollow as it may feel, condolences about your gf...that is such a hard thing. I am sorry

 

[Dukey]

I'm so sorry about your girlfriend. I can't even imagine.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm in a similar situation. One of my closest friends of 6 years played with my emotions, flirted with me, breadcrumbed me for her own validation, even though she knew how vulnerable and desperate for love I was. used me to make someone else jealous, and then abandoned me for a narcissist she barely knew.

Then I met someone else and started dating. We talked for hours every day for a month before meeting. The connection felt so intense that I thought I finally met someone who truly saw me. For a while I was actually happy again. I had hope, and I finally felt like I mattered to someone.

It lasted 4 months before I got blocked. First there were lies and empty promises, saying he was not ready for a relationship because he was going to study abroad, but that we would keep things the same until he left, try again later, or stay friends with benefits. Then he ignored me, and when I brought it up, I was blocked everywhere the next day. No explanation, no effort, no empathy. Just gone.

I made multiple accounts begging just to talk or to fix things, even settling for just friendship, and got called crazy and obsessive, with threats of going to the police.

In the span of 6 months, I lost everyone I ever loved or opened up to. They did not just drift away. They abandoned me, and couldn't care less if i bled out on the street.
It left me completly broken and i lowkey lost my mind, i don't think i'll ever let myself be vulnerable again. It left me with such a distrust and hatred for people.
because i genuinely don't understand how you can do this to someone else.

But you are right. He did love me at the start, even if it was only for a brief moment. Maybe I am not as unlovable as I think i am. If someone could love me once, maybe it can happen again.

Thank you for saying that

 

[gunmetalblue11]

My condolences to you girlfriend. I had a partner who passed years ago, still think of them to this day. I wish you peace.

 

[YourLocalSadGirly]

Hollow as it may feel, condolences about your gf...that is such a hard thing. I am sorry

Thank you <3.

I'm so sorry about your girlfriend. I can't even imagine.

Then I met someone else and started dating. We talked for hours every day for a month before meeting. The connection felt so intense that I thought I finally met someone who truly saw me. For a while I was actually happy again. I had hope, and I finally felt like I mattered to someone.

That's exactly how it was with my friend who blocked me. Thankfully he didn't threaten to go to the police when I messaged him after I got blocked I'm so sorry that happened to you :(. It's a hard thing to lose someone like that for sure I hope you're doing ok.

My condolences to you girlfriend. I had a partner who passed years ago, still think of them to this day. I wish you peace.

Thank you and I'm sorry about your partner as well. I know how hard it is.