Quick vent about being weird

[briardweller]

I hate myself because I just don't have something that everybody else has, I don't feel good socializing ever but I want to. It costs energy and it's hard and I'm always just doing the wrong thing. I don't like anything, I don't relate to anything. I just survive. I don't have hobbies or anything that I enjoy. So I can't even socialize really with people because I fundamentally cannot relate. I don't offer anything but awareness. I get what they're saying sometimes but it doesn't resonate with me because of the state I'm in. I feel like people think I'm weird or slow and sell me short and take advantage of my naivety. I also feel like I look disgusting. I don't know what it is but I hate who I see in the mirror every day because I see myself as the symbol of all my struggles and flaws. I just wanted to get that off my chest before bed tonight because I have to go to my shitty job paying me minimum wage at 6 am in the morning and my girlfriend who hates me just blew me off and doesn't really seem to care about the way I feel ever I don't ever feel like I'm enough, no one has ever been afraid to lose me.