Help Location Ideas

[gothbird]

The main thing I'm struggling with right now in planning my protocol is the location. I can't afford a hotel, and I don't have any proper camping gear—money is a real barrier. I want to avoid doing it in my apartment out of respect for the people I live with, and I absolutely don't want a random member of the public to be the one to find me.

Ideally, I always pictured passing somewhere peaceful. Under a tree in a park, in the sun or even in the rain. I do want to be found, but I want it to be by emergency services.

But I'm starting to think I may need to go somewhere more remote, like a forest, just to control how and when I'm found which I was hoping I didn't have to do.

If anyone has ideas that balance privacy, dignity, and safety for others, as well as my own comfort as someone who is chronically ill, I'd really appreciate it.

 

[AreWeWinning]

I don't have a good solution, I can just tell you my experience. I used to obsess about location. It was a 'phase'. Kept thinking about it for weeks and months. I wanted it to be around nature, in a nice environment. Remote, secluded, with nice scenery. E.g. in the mountains, in a forest etc. Like, that suicide forest in Japan. That would be nice! But then even if it's something local, I would still need to travel, and I couldn't familiarize myself with the location during planning. It wouldn't be practical, so I let go of this idea.

Then, I started to look around my local area. I still didn't want to do it at home. There were locations, but they weren't 'nice enough'. The scenery was not good enough, or there might be rubbish around nearby or whatever. And there was also a phase when I obsessed about how secluded it was. Will someone find me prematurely? Who will find me? Etc. Etc.

And then at one point, I realised that none of these really matter. I'll be dead. Who cares... The location is not important. I realised, if I really wanted to do it, I had to sit down and think about what is actually important, and what is not. Otherwise, I'll be stuck in the planning phase forever. I needed to stop being a perfectionist. What's important are having a will (if you have assets), leaving various information behind in an easy to access way (e.g. labelling keys up, bank account numbers etc.), and choosing and using an effective method for my exit. That's about it.

There are also things that are somewhat important, but not critical. For example, privacy considerations (destroying paper notes, factory reset phones etc.), writing a goodbye note, rough cleaning (without overdoing it) etc. These are worth taking care of, but it won't make any difference if I don't get these perfectly right.

Anyway, I'm sorry, I'm probably over-explaining it. The idea is that it is important to think about what it is worth it to worry about, and what is not. Otherwise, it'll never end. The actual list and examples might be different for you, but the idea is the same.

So, back to my own example, in the end, I just decided to do it close to my home, in the woods, during the middle of the night. It's not perfect but good enough. It's not the nicest, but it's ok. There is no-one around at night, so I won't be found prematurely. It's kind of out of sight, but someone will probably find me the next day, which is good in case my scheduled emails don't go through for whatever reason.

Might not be the answer you're looking for, but that's how I view it.

 

[gothbird]

I don't have a good solution, I can just tell you my experience. I used to obsess about location. It was a 'phase'. Kept thinking about it for weeks and months. I wanted it to be around nature, in a nice environment. Remote, secluded, with nice scenery. E.g. in the mountains, in a forest etc. Like, that suicide forest in Japan. That would be nice! But then even if it's something local, I would still need to travel, and I couldn't familiarize myself with the location during planning. It wouldn't be practical, so I let go of this idea.

Then, I started to look around my local area. I still didn't want to do it at home. There were locations, but they weren't 'nice enough'. The scenery was not good enough, or there might be rubbish around nearby or whatever. And there was also a phase when I obsessed about how secluded it was. Will someone find me prematurely? Who will find me? Etc. Etc.

And then at one point, I realised that none of these really matter. I'll be dead. Who cares... The location is not important. I realised, if I really wanted to do it, I had to sit down and think about what is actually important, and what is not. Otherwise, I'll be stuck in the planning phase forever. I needed to stop being a perfectionist. What's important are having a will (if you have assets), leaving various information behind in an easy to access way (e.g. labelling keys up, bank account numbers etc.), and choosing and using an effective method for my exit. That's about it.

There are also things that are somewhat important, but not critical. For example, privacy considerations (destroying paper notes, factory reset phones etc.), writing a goodbye note, rough cleaning (without overdoing it) etc. These are worth taking care of, but it won't make any difference if I don't get these perfectly right.

Anyway, I'm sorry, I'm probably over-explaining it. The idea is that it is important to think about what it is worth it to worry about, and what is not. Otherwise, it'll never end. The actual list and examples might be different for you, but the idea is the same.

So, back to my own example, in the end, I just decided to do it close to my home, in the woods, during the middle of the night. It's not perfect but good enough. It's not the nicest, but it's ok. There is no-one around at night, so I won't be found prematurely. It's kind of out of sight, but someone will probably find me the next day, which is good in case my scheduled emails don't go through for whatever reason.

Might not be the answer you're looking for, but that's how I view it.

This actually helped a lot. Thank you for writing it all out. I don't think you over explained at all.

I relate more than I'd like to admit. I've spent so long obsessing over location, not just for comfort, but to make sure the right person finds me. I don't want it to be someone I know. I don't want it to be some poor kid walking their dog. I don't want it to be a stranger who carries that moment for the rest of their life. Ideally, it would just be emergency services as I said.

But I'm aware I'm probably overthinking it. The scenery, the timing, the position of my body, the visibility from the road…I spiral into detail like it's going to somehow make the ending better for me. Maybe it's just my way of trying to inject a little control into something I can't fully control.

You're right, though. At some point, I have to draw the line between what actually matters.

I appreciate you sharing this. Genuinely.

 

[Xiaojiu]

I used to be a hiker and know a lot of secluded places. Problem for me is that like you, I'm chronically ill and disabled with chronic pain that I can't go to those places anymore. Gotta find a better place.

I also worry about things like a child finding my body, etc. :(

And I'm thinking I need to plan more because I gotta put things more into order (Donate more belongings, make a list of passwords for accounts so family can send death certificates, etc.)