Life's Gotten Worse & Won't Get Better

[damianshawl]

Feel like I've given it enough time, to be honest. I've been ready to CTB, but being 26 turning 27 soon having been laid off recently due to reasons outside of my control. I'm just over it. Spammed a thousand jobs with a bunch of applications. And, honestly, I dread working at yet another place that will just have crappy people and poor management. But that's not it, I'm just tired of getting by. It's exhausting and I'm just tired of being unhappy, lost, and hoping. It's not fair and I'm just tired of trying, so fucking tired.

I could play hangman, but I don't wanna deal with that because I don't have a high enough place unless I go out and find a random tree in the night. So I may just pull a Hannah Baker, contemplated it and researched on where I need to insert and sever it. I think that's the least painful way, or rather the easiest form I can handle, in order to CTB. I don't mind the slow phase, as long as it gets done. So, as unfortunate and scary it is to say, if I don't get a job by the end of this month. This may be it for me.

I don't wanna deal with life anymore. I'm exhausted. Tired of being in my head, tired of being in this life, tired of trying my best and failing. The job that I recently left screwed me over even though I did my best and put my best foot forward. Why should I keep going when there's a high chance for another job to pull that on me and say fuck me? It's not fair, so I look forward to it and hope I don't get a job. I'm ready to go.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that it's so awful feeling trapped in an existence that you hate, existing here certainly is so dreadful and it does sound tiring what you have to go through. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[SarRy]

There is a cruelty to the idea that we must earn a living. It is especially cruel that the means of survival are in the hands of another person.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Life is a terrible prison.
We are born into bodies with fucked up brains, and forced to fight for survival.
We are the hamster on the wheel going round and round yet getting nowhere.
Or the rat in a maze where all the exits are blocked.
This game of life is against us at every turn, no matter how hard we try to make things better.
So sorry you are going through this.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry that life is so awful and tiring for you. Life is so unfair sometimes. It's so incredibly painful when efforts to improve ones life are not being honored. I can fully understand you and your decision. I wish you all the best!