Life is worse since being discharged from Section

[M3lancholia]

I was sectioned for 28 days in June and finally discharged after 5 weeks of hospitalisation in the UK. I was starting to feel a bit of hope but all has crashed down around me now, 5 weeks after being discharged. I feel like I'm being punished for not wanting to be here and all the suicidal feelings are coming back. Life is so hard and I've lost the people who mean the most to me. I'm being judged by everyone and it's not positive. Only the professionals helping me now are telling me how good it is that I've come so far etc.
I had SN ready previously but that has now been taken from me.
I don't have the energy to fight anymore - everything keeps stacking against me & tomorrow I'll find out if I can go back to work. It'll be the final nail in the coffin if they say no as I love my job and obviously need it for financial reasons.
I don't feel 'crazy' or mentally ill - I just can't do life anymore. When I was in hospital I felt like they wanted to label me with some mental health disorder but couldn't. I rationally want to leave this life.
I'm in the middle of court proceedings (family law) that are making everything worse as I'm being judged by people who don't even know me.
I feel guilty for wanting to give up but really everyone would be better without me. I'm not an alcoholic/don't do drugs/never abused my children, yet apparently I'm too much of a risk to my children because of how I felt in June. Seeking help has made everything 1000 times worse and any hope has just been replaced with despair.
Has anyone else found that coming out of hospital after being sectioned has made everything worse?
I feel so alone as can't share my feelings for fear of being admitted again. Thank you to anyone who has bothered to read all this! Xx

 

[clown_17]

I'm still stuck inpatient. But I was admitted involuntarily and receiving all their "help" had made everything in my life infinitely worse. From family relationships, to my social life, to my mental health. The system sucks and it's generally safer to keep your thoughts to yourself. I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way and I'm sorry your children have been taken from you. It's no fair