princeseadove
wannabe angel
- Mar 4, 2025
- 96
I have been trying to text my friends, just talking. But I'm often ghosted or left on read, which is fine but seeing them post on social media while my texts just sit there hurt. They don't like me, so I don't like them. That kinda, childish mentality I had cared with me. Do I hate them, or do I hate how they make me feel? As if they can't even afford to think about me, negatively or positively. I think that's what fuels my suicidal tendencies a bit, like some sort of revenge. But I don't think so. No matter what happens, no matter what anybody does me or you they'll always be a lot of pain that come in existing. It's just harder for people like me to cope. I don't want to cope like this anymore. I don't want to cut myself up or take a whole bunch of painkillers or try and get people to love me. I'm tired of being exhausted and nobody even tries to be there for me anymore. Because even being near me is exhausting huh? No matter what happens I am miserable and I will stay miserable, any type of vengeance I feel doesn't matter. I can be so angry and frustrated at their lack of wanting to be there or call the police, but I know I don't want it. I hate everything about that. But I also hate being so disregarded. How disgusting.
No matter how good life seems to get I will have to die there is no other way. There is no hope for me. Objectively, I'm going through a lot more better situation than last year… but wether the war has ended or not I'll still feel the same way
No matter how good life seems to get I will have to die there is no other way. There is no hope for me. Objectively, I'm going through a lot more better situation than last year… but wether the war has ended or not I'll still feel the same way
