Life is not for me and I really want to CTB but I’m scared of failing to CTB successfully

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Life hadn't for me for the past five years or so and I really want to ctb but I'm scared of failure and being locked in the mental health hospital again….. I was forced to be in the mental hospital a few months ago but I had not even tried to kill myself ….. Now that I'm so tired of living and miserable whilst at it, I really want to end my life but oh God I just don't know how I can succeed to ctb without failure. I applaud those who have ctb successfully as it's such a brave thing to do…. I'm hoping very soon I will ctb successfully without failure. I don't want to fail like what I did I five years ago and end up being locked in a mental health hospital…. SI is a very difficult thing to overcome, can you imagine I despise living and it is nightmarish for me and yet I can't even kill myself because it's so difficult for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also envy those people, it disgusts me how we exist in this world where we cannot just easily die in peace despite the fact that we were cruelly forced to suffer in the first place. Those who die are fortunate as they are at peace now, I understand why you'd feel so tired of it all, it's horrible to make it so that those who want to die and are already tired enough have to struggle so much to be gone.