G
Gsvko
Mea culpa.
- Dec 14, 2021
- 190
I'm sorry, all I do on this forum is vent and complain, but there is nobody I can talk to, I don't trust anyone, I don't think I'm helpable and I don't care if anyone reads, I just have to say it.
I have so many opportunities coming my way, and so many people who care about me that have no idea about the shit I'm in.
Today I got a casual job offer from a very reputable place, a man from the same town who's seen me as a child, knows my reputation and what I'm normally capable of. I haven't seen him in years, but he knows my father and I know his son. I never really talked to him a lot, but I've helped him with some things and I always felt like he's jealous of my father for having me as a daughter, he'd complain about his son all the time and him and his wife would send me gifts which was a bit creepy, but rich people.
I feel like such a damn failure. I'm so far from the person I once was. So many people thought I'd become someone. It'll be such a shock when I kms. I hate it. I hate that anyone has to know about my suicide. I wish I could just erase myself completely, I wish I never existed. I wish I wasn't this ashamed. If only things were different, I would take that job and it would be wonderful, a dream come true. But I just can't. I can't. I want to die
I have so many opportunities coming my way, and so many people who care about me that have no idea about the shit I'm in.
Today I got a casual job offer from a very reputable place, a man from the same town who's seen me as a child, knows my reputation and what I'm normally capable of. I haven't seen him in years, but he knows my father and I know his son. I never really talked to him a lot, but I've helped him with some things and I always felt like he's jealous of my father for having me as a daughter, he'd complain about his son all the time and him and his wife would send me gifts which was a bit creepy, but rich people.
I feel like such a damn failure. I'm so far from the person I once was. So many people thought I'd become someone. It'll be such a shock when I kms. I hate it. I hate that anyone has to know about my suicide. I wish I could just erase myself completely, I wish I never existed. I wish I wasn't this ashamed. If only things were different, I would take that job and it would be wonderful, a dream come true. But I just can't. I can't. I want to die