Venting again sorry

[sadcausebad]

I don't mean to use this site to vent but it feels like only people here seem to understand my hurt. I was doing fine for awhile but the suicidal feels keep coming back and stronger, currently I feel miserable and guilt because I'm rehoming my pet due to my current housing situation.

I feel defeated because he was basically the last thing keeping me from ctb but I am not a cruel person and don't want my pet to suffer any consequences due to my own mistakes at life. I know he will be safe and happier and that I am being a responsible person but it hurts a lot.

I wish I wasn't in a poor financial situation, poverty really does ruin every and control your life. I love my pet dearly and this hurts, I feel as if I'm pushing myself towards the edge by giving him up to a better home but I don't think it matters. If I end up ctb with him here he would have nowhere to go and I know my parents would not know what to do and I don't want to traumatize him like that because no matter what he's my priority and he deserves the happiness that I can't give him or even achieve myself. I am just another failure walking this planet as a husk of person who tried to enjoy the small things in life like companionship of a pet but sadly even that isn't allowed in this fucked up world we live in. I don't know what I'll do but I hope I won't be in this planet for any longer

 

[-Link-]

Use this site for whatever you need, whenever you need it. You're not doing us any harm by venting!

I read every word you said here. It takes a very caring, compassionate person to prioritize your pet's interests and well-being over that of your own.

I'm sorry you're struggling so badly. Again, you'll always have a place here with us if you need, and I am wishing you as best as can be under the circumstances.

 

[sadcausebad]

Use this site for whatever you need, whenever you need it. You're not doing us any harm by venting!

I read every word you said here. It takes a very caring, compassionate person to prioritize your pet's interests and well-being over that of your own.

I'm sorry you're struggling so badly. Again, you'll always have a place here with us if you need, and I am wishing you as best as can be under the circumstances.

Thank you for your words. It does mean a lot hearing it from strangers sometimes which is why I come here at times. The friends I reached out to shared the same sentiment about my decision but I feel so much guilt going through with it.