just a culmination of feelings.

[synthcadia]

just a list of what i'm feeling right now.

current emotions:
- i'm sad to leave finland because i really like living here
- i'm also sad because i want my partner here and it'll be a while until they can come here
- i miss my partner
- i'm anxious about searching for internships and applying to them
- i'm nervous about my interview next week
- i'm stressed about next semester and my job
- i'm overwhelmed by school, internships, and doing everything i need to do before i leave finland
- i'm scared to go back to america
- i want my parents to like my partner

i always feel sadder at night. the realization is hitting me. i mean i feel like i'm kinda in a heaven right now, where i don't have to worry as much about stuff. and i don't want to go back, at all…

i just want to cry but for some reason i just can't.

so i ate some cake, which wasn't the smartest idea.

and i'm just sad. i am also sad because my partner is coming later than they said they would. i hope they come earlier.

 

[foxgirl]

Sounds like a lot to feel at once. I'm sorry. Life is incredibly hard. We all can relate and are here for you. Sending a hug
also Finland sounds super cool haha

 

[synthcadia]

Sounds like a lot to feel at once. I'm sorry. Life is incredibly hard. We all can relate and are here for you. Sending a hug
also Finland sounds super cool haha

thanks for responding foxgirl. <3

i mean tbh this isn't the worst thing i've experienced so far in my life.

i just hate to do long distance again, and the 6 hour timezone too…

thank you for the hug. <3

finland is such an underrated country, honestly.

 

[hi-okbye]

:( i understand this a lot, i hope letting it out helped a little at least. it's good that your able to identify how your feeling. just a thought, but maybe just try changing the statements to feel a little better, like here..

- i'm sad to leave finland because i really like living here
- i'm excited to go to a new place and possibly see new things, i might even like them better

- i'm also sad because i want my partner here and it'll be a while until they can come here
- i'm excited because my partner will come here soon, and i'm excited to see them

- i'm anxious about searching for internships and applying to them
- i'm excited to hopefully get a new job/school soon (i'm not sure what the internship is for)

etc etc, just maybe try doing that with all the different topics. even if it's not true, sometimes saying it makes it a bit better. also just know it's okay to feel what your feeling. even though i'm saying to change it, it's okay to embrace the inital feeling. your upset/sad/nerovous, and that's completly okay. hope this helped a little feel better <3