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thenamingofcats

annihilation anxiety
Apr 19, 2024
453
You know who will not be saved? The truck driver you traumatize for life due to your actions. And yes these are YOUR actions and your actions alone. Having been psychotic before this has special significance for me and enrages me. I have been there. You have a responsibility to get help and be honest about your true thoughts and feelings because you are about to hurt someone. I don't believe you that you saw mental health professionals, told them what you told us, and they said you're fine.
 
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timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
You know who will not be saved? The truck driver you traumatize for life due to your actions. And yes these are YOUR actions and your actions alone. Having been psychotic before this has special significance for me and enrages me. I have been there. You have a responsibility to get help and be honest about your true thoughts and feelings because you are about to hurt someone. I don't believe you that you saw mental health professionals, told them what you told us, and they said you're fine.
None of you know the full story so sick of being made out like I want to intentionally hurt people. If there was another way to save everyone I'd do it.
But It will save the driver too. It will work out. I will be told exact location and time. A particular driver will be chosen for a reason out of my control. Maybe they stop driving and end up in a job they like better. Or they got to hospital to get checked out after hitting me and they find something unrelated in time and saves their life. Maybe when I get onto the road they're actually driving dangerously and it's partly their fault. Or they've done something worse and need to be caught. So maybe it saves others that way too.
Idk how but it will all work out . There will be a reason and I just have to trust. It's all connected.
 
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doctordetritus

Member
Jan 5, 2024
12
None of you know the full story so sick of being made out like I want to intentionally hurt people. If there was another way to save everyone I'd do it.
But It will save the driver too. It will work out. I will be told exact location and time. A particular driver will be chosen for a reason out of my control. Maybe they stop driving and end up in a job they like better. Or they got to hospital to get checked out after hitting me and they find something unrelated in time and saves their life. Maybe when I get onto the road they're actually driving dangerously and it's partly their fault. Or they've done something worse and need to be caught. So maybe it saves others that way too.
Idk how but it will all work out . There will be a reason and I just have to trust. It's all connected.

It's obvious to me that you don't want to intentionally harm anyone. But I am genuinely curious. You mentioned "I do appreciate people are just trying to help," even if you see it as "misguided concern." So you trust many people here are coming from a good place of good intentions. And to me, it seems that the entity is coming from a bad place full of really bad intentions. May I ask why do you place so much trust in this thing that has already "altered (your) brain chemistry and completely messed up (your) life?" How do you know this evil thing is going to keep its word?
 
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timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
It's obvious to me that you don't want to intentionally harm anyone. But I am genuinely curious. You mentioned "I do appreciate people are just trying to help," even if you see it as "misguided concern." So you trust many people here are coming from a good place of good intentions. And to me, it seems that the entity is coming from a bad place full of really bad intentions. May I ask why do you place so much trust in this thing that has already "altered (your) brain chemistry and completely messed up (your) life?" How do you know this evil thing is going to keep its word?
I don't know for certain I guess but I trust them. More than I trust anyone here or professionals. They gave me 2nd chance when I broke some of the rules before, eventhough they made people ill, they saved them once I followed the rules again. They have stuck to their word. It's clear when I don't do what they say, the bad things they warn me about do happen. So I have no reason not to believe them and they have more power than any of us so I have to respect that
 
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thenamingofcats

annihilation anxiety
Apr 19, 2024
453
None of you know the full story so sick of being made out like I want to intentionally hurt people. If there was another way to save everyone I'd do it.
But It will save the driver too. It will work out. I will be told exact location and time. A particular driver will be chosen for a reason out of my control. Maybe they stop driving and end up in a job they like better. Or they got to hospital to get checked out after hitting me and they find something unrelated in time and saves their life. Maybe when I get onto the road they're actually driving dangerously and it's partly their fault. Or they've done something worse and need to be caught. So maybe it saves others that way too.
Idk how but it will all work out . There will be a reason and I just have to trust. It's all connected.
You're justifying the harm you're about to cause someone with this outrageous story.
Psychosis doesn't just happen to us, we CREATE the narrative and then sustain it. It comes from us.
 
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timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
You're justifying the harm you're about to cause someone with this outrageous story.
Psychosis doesn't just happen to us, we CREATE the narrative and then sustain it. It comes from us.
Why would I create this ? It is hell and isn't psychosis . It's not outrageous, those are just examples. Idk how it will work but I know those in control do everything for a greater purpose and to restore order.
I wouldn't make this up. Before all this happened to me I would've never believed this. I am otherwise very analytical, scientific minded, not superstitious,spiritual or religious at all. So i wouldn't believe this without evidence and it being real.
 
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thenamingofcats

annihilation anxiety
Apr 19, 2024
453
Why would I create this ? It is hell and isn't psychosis . It's not outrageous, those are just examples. Idk how it will work but I know those in control do everything for a greater purpose and to restore order.
I wouldn't make this up. Before all this happened to me I would've never believed this. I am otherwise very analytical, scientific minded, not superstitious,spiritual or religious at all. So i wouldn't believe this without evidence and it being real.
You did make it up, just like I made up mine. I'm also analytical, an atheist, and have a science background. Psychotic "evidence" isn't evidence that anyone else finds compelling, as you're seeing play out in this thread. Psychotic evidence won't pass any scientific scrutiny and is intentionally cryptic and vague, using the supernatural. No supernatural explanation will ever pass as being scientifically valid.

The reason we create the psychotic narrative is because we can't psychologically handle what's happening to us anymore. I made up a psychotic narrative to explain my abuse (extreme abuse history) and to make it make sense in a way that I could continue living. You're the only one that can explain to yourself why you made up the story. Usually the themes are not random.

Example: I was medically abused (sexually) for years as a young person and my parents looked the other way. To deal with these unbearable realities I made up a story that they weren't my parents and that I was born in a lab to do medical experiments on. That was only one part of my psychosis.
 
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timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
You did make it up, just like I made up mine. I'm also analytical, an atheist, and have a science background. Psychotic "evidence" isn't evidence that anyone else finds compelling, as you're seeing play out in this thread. Psychotic evidence won't pass any scientific scrutiny and is intentionally cryptic and vague, using the supernatural. No supernatural explanation will ever pass as being scientifically valid.

The reason we create the psychotic narrative is because we can't psychologically handle what's happening to us anymore. I made up a psychotic narrative to explain my abuse (extreme abuse history) and to make it make sense in a way that I could continue living. You're the only one that can explain to yourself why you made up the story. Usually the themes are not random.

Example: I was medically abused (sexually) for years as a young person and my parents looked the other way. To deal with these unbearable realities I made up a story that they weren't my parents and that I was born in a lab to do medical experiments on. That was only one part of my psychosis.
I'm so sorry for what you've been through. That's horrific 😢

Psychosis isn't always related to trauma though. It can be more genetic or biological like post partum or alcohol induced.

All irrelevant anyway as i don't have psychosis. And this 'story' has no meaning to my life. I have no trauma.
 
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thenamingofcats

annihilation anxiety
Apr 19, 2024
453
I'm so sorry for what you've been through. That's horrific 😢

Psychosis isn't always related to trauma though. It can be more genetic or biological like post partum or alcohol induced.

All irrelevant anyway as i don't have psychosis. And this 'story' has no meaning to my life. I have no trauma.
But even if you have no trauma, the problem is what you're saying cannot be explained without the supernatural and does read exactly like psychosis.
 
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Placo

Placo

At Eternity's Gates
Feb 14, 2024
339
If you can believe your eyes and ears.
 
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timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
Well, this sounds horribly painful. What happens if you follow these rules and you don't die and you end up paralyzed or you really hurt the driver of the truck. I know you said everything will be okay, but what if it isn't, because its not going to be. Do you want to live paralyzed or do you want to live and know that the other person is now paralyzed? Listen, it's not just the truck driver here., it's the other people on the road as well. This could cause a huge pile up and destroy so many peoples lives. It's so dangerous to so many people. It's wrong to hurt so many people. Nothing good will ever tell you to do this.
I will be careful how I do it to minimise chances of pile up. I have researched cases that managed it without causing any other casualties. If hit directly by high speed truck, i won't survive, i'll make sure I don't.
It will be ok . Just because you're all being close minded doesn't mean it's not real and true.

People post all sorts on here and do some stupid things . I've thought this through and I'm trying to save as many lives as possible too.
I don't understand why I'm getting piled on
 
ferrie

ferrie

she/they
May 19, 2024
310
OP you may want to ask a mod to lock this thread. While I agree with the concerns about your method & what you're suffering through, I don't think people continuously trying to argue with you when you have been very firm on your stance will achieve anything other than further stressing you out. More stress honestly sounds like the last thing you need in your situation & just seems like a recipe for escalation
 
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Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
609
@timetodie24 it's good to see you're still communicating with people on this thread. It's reassuring that you've not followed the plan yet.

If you go to your appointment next week, do you think you could start to mention a little bit about how you're feeling now? The anxiety and paranoia specifically?
 
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L

Leiden

Specialist
Sep 1, 2020
399
I will be careful how I do it to minimise chances of pile up. I have researched cases that managed it without causing any other casualties. If hit directly by high speed truck, i won't survive, i'll make sure I don't.
It will be ok . Just because you're all being close minded doesn't mean it's not real and true.

People post all sorts on here and do some stupid things . I've thought this through and I'm trying to save as many lives as possible too.
I don't understand why I'm getting piled on
Well, I wish everyone involved the best of luck.
 
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timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
OP you may want to ask a mod to lock this thread. While I agree with the concerns about your method & what you're suffering through, I don't think people continuously trying to argue with you when you have been very firm on your stance will achieve anything other than further stressing you out. More stress honestly sounds like the last thing you need in your situation & just seems like a recipe for escalation
Probably should but doesn't matter as won't respond after this comment any more. People can say what they want or mods can lock if they want. I'm past caring. Everyone is entitled to their opinion even if they're wrong. I don't care as will do it tomorrow. So anyone arguing will just be agruing with themselves.
Going to stay up tonight to make sure I've fully deciphered the code and planned everything the best I can . Then go to the road to tomorrow .

@Tesha it will be too late .

Thank you everyone. Take care . Wishing you all peace in whatever way you wish 🫂❤️
 
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ferrie

ferrie

she/they
May 19, 2024
310
Probably should but doesn't matter as won't respond after this comment any more. People can say what they want or mods can lock if they want. I'm past caring. Everyone is entitled to their opinion even if they're wrong. I don't care as will do it tomorrow. So anyone arguing will just be agruing with themselves.
Going to stay up tonight to make sure I've fully deciphered the code and planned everything the best I can . Then go to the road to tomorrow .

@Tesha it will be too late .

Thank you everyone. Take care . Wishing you all peace in whatever way you wish 🫂❤️
I hope you are able to find peace & that everything goes as safely as possible
 
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Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
609
You're clearly smart and you already said you don't want to do this method as it's not one you would've chosen.

I think overnight you'll be able to think of something that means you won't have to do it tomorrow. I'm not saying never, I'm just saying not tomorrow.

I'm awake a lot of the night, so happy to communicate with you, if you need someone to bounce things off.
 
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E

Esokabat

Specialist
Apr 22, 2024
321
You did make it up, just like I made up mine. I'm also analytical, an atheist, and have a science background. Psychotic "evidence" isn't evidence that anyone else finds compelling, as you're seeing play out in this thread. Psychotic evidence won't pass any scientific scrutiny and is intentionally cryptic and vague, using the supernatural. No supernatural explanation will ever pass as being scientifically valid.

The reason we create the psychotic narrative is because we can't psychologically handle what's happening to us anymore. I made up a psychotic narrative to explain my abuse (extreme abuse history) and to make it make sense in a way that I could continue living. You're the only one that can explain to yourself why you made up the story. Usually the themes are not random.

Example: I was medically abused (sexually) for years as a young person and my parents looked the other way. To deal with these unbearable realities I made up a story that they weren't my parents and that I was born in a lab to do medical experiments on. That was only one part of my psychosis.
I really appreciate sharing your story. You might think it was useless as OP cannot be persuaded one way or other, but it might help others that will read your story at a later time and recognize themselves in your story. I think everyone tried their absolut best on this thread. It appears that no written words will convince OP of anything, I don't think anyone can have the right words, the right phrases, the right questions, absolutely no written words will make impact at this stage. I see that some people are going along and humouring OP but there is no evidence that humouring a delusion actually make the situation better. According to the NHS in the UK, agreeing with a delusion is not the right approach, as many people try to do it here. Quote from the NHS website:

" Do not dismiss the delusion - recognise that these ideas and fears are very real to the person but do not agree with them. For example say "I do not believe ........... is out to get you but I can see that you are upset about it." Do not act horrified by bizarre words or unfinished sentences."
 
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thenamingofcats

annihilation anxiety
Apr 19, 2024
453
I really appreciate sharing your story. You might think it was useless as OP cannot be persuaded one way or other, but it might help others that will read your story at a later time and recognize themselves in your story. I think everyone tried their absolut best on this thread. It appears that no written words will convince OP of anything, I don't think anyone can have the right words, the right phrases, the right questions, absolutely no written words will make impact at this stage. I see that some people are going along and humouring OP but there is no evidence that humouring a delusion actually make the situation better. According to the NHS in the UK, agreeing with a delusion is not the right approach, as many people try to do it here. Quote from the NHS website:

" Do not dismiss the delusion - recognise that these ideas and fears are very real to the person but do not agree with them. For example say "I do not believe ........... is out to get you but I can see that you are upset about it." Do not act horrified by bizarre words or unfinished sentences."
Thank you that means a lot to me. I think I should leave this thread because I'm getting big feelings about OP potentially killing and or traumatizing people and fancying themself as a martyr for it. Most psychotic people aren't dangerous to others like this, they're just scared and confused.
 
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Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
609
@Esokabat I agree, when you know the person and in the same location the approach would be very different.

When you're at the end of a keyboard you try and manage / make a difference with what you're presented with…
 
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betternever2havbeen

Elementalist
Jun 19, 2022
862
Probably should but doesn't matter as won't respond after this comment any more. People can say what they want or mods can lock if they want. I'm past caring. Everyone is entitled to their opinion even if they're wrong. I don't care as will do it tomorrow. So anyone arguing will just be agruing with themselves.
Going to stay up tonight to make sure I've fully deciphered the code and planned everything the best I can . Then go to the road to tomorrow .

@Tesha it will be too late .

Thank you everyone. Take care . Wishing you all peace in whatever way you wish 🫂❤️
Why do they only communicate by code? Surely if it's so important they'd just tell you outright what to do. You're putting all your faith for everything turning out ok for others in some code you're not even sure about. Why don't you wait and ask someone who knows about this stuff to be 100% sure you're interpreting it correctly.
 
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F

F@#$

Freedom seeker
Nov 8, 2023
632
Psychosis and schizophrenia.
I know nobody can convince you, this is more for others to be able to recognize. I already mentioned this on your previous post and I was sad to see how many people humored you by trying to decipher random messages. People on this forum, please don't encourage people with clear signs of mental illness who are clearly not able to make an informed decision about life and death
Arguably everyone here has "mental illness".
OP it is possible to survive being run over. It's actually more common than people assume. What happens in your situation if you survive?
I got run over by a pickup truck. I was drunk when it happened and had no idea what had happened until someone who saw it told me later the next day.
 
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Esokabat

Specialist
Apr 22, 2024
321
Arguably everyone here has "mental illness".

I got run over by a pickup truck. I was drunk when it happened and had no idea what had happened until someone who saw it told me later the next day.
There are plenty of people on here whose only "mental illness" (your words) is depression. There are also people here who live with excruciating physical pain and do not have any mental illness and wish to CTB due to rational reasons. Good job diagnosing an entire forum of people from all over the world that you have never met. Next time, just speak for yourself. "I have mental illness" instead of "everyone here have mental illness". People that make their experience universal are just so self-centred, so selfish, everything is about them, we are all just planets circling around their center, just props really
 
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betternever2havbeen

Elementalist
Jun 19, 2022
862
Arguably everyone here has "mental illness".
Anyone else on here would be discouraged from involving other people in their deaths just the same. And there's mental illness and then there's complete loss of touch with reality.
 
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F

F@#$

Freedom seeker
Nov 8, 2023
632
There are plenty of people on here whose only "mental illness" (your words) is depression. There are also people here who live with excruciating physical pain and do not have any mental illness and wish to CTB due to rational reasons. Good job diagnosing an entire forum of people from all over the world that you have never met. Next time, just speak for yourself. "I have mental illness" instead of "everyone here have mental illness". People that make their experience universal are just so self-centred, so selfish, everything is about them, we are all just planets circling around their center, just props really
Jesus fuckin christ,relax.
 
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H

Hvergelmir

Member
May 5, 2024
91
@timetodie24 If that lorry/HGV doesn't show up, or you otherwise survive; then please assume that the voices are originating from some part of your own brain. At least assume that explanation to be true for a while, if nothing else to see where it leads you.

Disregarding irrational and emotional responses, there are still too many people here whom dissected the situation rationally and to the best of their ability, to discard this possibility. I'm sure that you rationally agree, that it's very rare and unlikely that anyone would receive commands in this manner from an external entity.
Similar cases rooted in brain conditions are also quite rare, but scientifically observed and documented.

No matter what you end up doing, I sincerely wish you and your surrounding good luck.
 
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Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
609
@timetodie24 I'm a little apprehensive asking this, but how are you feeling today?
 
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