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keg-ireland

keg-ireland

Member
May 3, 2024
49
I guess everyone here hates me. I never fit in anywhere in my life tbf. I was hoping maybe here people would be happy for me getting my exit but I guess not . Oh well . Peace to everyone
You know that's not true. Everyone here is concerned for you and all are taking time out from their day to advise you on things that will be beneficial to you. If anyone hated you here, you would have no replies.

I'm no Doctor nor psychiatrist but I like you as does everyone else but most importantly EVERYONE here wants the best for you.
 
Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
609
@timetodie24 hey. I just wanted to say that no one here hates you. We support your right to choose if you're going to live or die. But that's not what's happening here is it? You're not choosing, someone else in your head is choosing. That's not ok. That's why everyone is trying to suggest alternatives at the moment.

You are not making this choice yourself. Even targeted individuals deserve the right to chose their own life and death; when, where, how, why.

Is the road, the vehicle, the date what you would chose? Why do you feel you have to sacrifice yourself to save others? You are more important than that. You have different, more important reasons to keep living.

You said the situation was causing you anxiety and paranoia. They can be treated and once treated you can then work again with those voices controlling you.

When is your nurses appointment?

Have you been forced to write anything else down or cut yourself again?
 
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It'sMyLife

It'sMyLife

Little bundles of futile hope we are
Apr 18, 2020
102
I'm sorry I'm just getting back to you. I don't see why anyone here would hate you. Please don't think that! But the not fitting in part I def get but I'm just too old to give a damn anymore. And if you fit in everywhere wouldn't you be just another conformist? I know you don't want that :ahhha:
So here's my theory - it's often called electromagnetic sensitivity but if you look up emf side effects or emf hearing voices , emf psychosis you'll find different articles on this. Also try cell phone radiation various searches and don't forget wifi. Dr Mercola is a guy I trust on giving the truth. He's got tons of articles on wifi and 5g. This is my reason for asking what I did. And I know it is a long shot and something many flat out will not believe . All I'm saying is look into it because I don't know if this is a cause or not . Before you act on any of this , if you think about it , removing yourself to another place with no wifi and away from a cell tower is far less drastic than what the voice is telling you. I cannot speak to the unexpected death of the person you knew but ever since the advent of covid and those "vaccines" , many people have died suddenly. They will bend over backwards to say they know it wasn't the shot without ever being able to confirm it . The big G and FB actively try to fact check anyone who states any of this including Dr Mercola and RFK jr. I"m not saying this was the cause mind you of this poor person's passing but these days sudden death with no cause or them saying it's normal now for a 20 year old to drop dead is far more common. Anyway , don't go off thinking you're not welcome here because it's really not like that here. I think it's obvious most people want to help you but just don't agree with you at this point. Here's one link I think to a good article . And please consider , if you can , go stay with an old aunt or relative as far away from the modern world as you can . Or find a remote airbnb perhaps. I hope some of what I'm saying can help you.
I'm coming back to edit this again. I know the link is a bit of reading but the more I read down the more it sounds kind of like you - the numbers part of it definitely . Here's a copy and paste from the article :

Testing the Hypothesis

A middle age female reported a history of multiple voices that were interpreted by her as "calls for help" from people trapped within a facility controlled by an intelligence system. The "voices" were also associated with "hearing-knowing" sequences of numbers that were organized in clusters typical of cell phone addresses. These number sequences, which she recorded, would be "received" for several minutes to an hour during any given episode. We randomly selected about 20 of these from hundreds of numbers and found most of them were or had been operational cell phone numbers (some were land lines).

Would you please look this over and come back and reply ? You're welcome to DM me as well if you want to .

 
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D

Darmok

Member
Sep 11, 2022
26
Timetodie24, I know this seems weird in a forum where most of us are dealing with a slew of mental health issues. But I wanted to say that for the most part, I think that is a person wants to take their own life, they need to be in more or less their right mind.

You are not. All of this about an entity sending you coded messages and telling you to harm yourself tells me you are not in a good place mentally speaking. You need help, and quite frankly I thing you need to be confined for your own safety.

You say in here that you have two psych degrees, and thus you would know if you are ill. You also said you went to get a diagnosed and it came back that you are not suffering from psychosis or schizophrenia.

But it occurs to me that if you have a psych degree, you know precisely how to answer questions to paint yourself as stressed but sane.

I think you need help. And this forum of individuals in constant contemplation of oblivion is not the place to get that help.
 
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It'sMyLife

It'sMyLife

Little bundles of futile hope we are
Apr 18, 2020
102
So she should be confined and drugged? I know this is what most people think is a quick fix at the time but I've read a multitude of posts by people on this forum who have experienced this and never want it again. But what if it really is an external source? How is that going to improve anything?
More from article I linked

"However what is very different about these individuals is their sensitivity to ambient electromagnetic fields. More than fifty years ago Frey (1962) demonstrated that GHz range transmitted fields pulsed within the EEG-frequency band could induce auditory experiences. We have measured GHz power densities in the 10 mW · m−2range frequently within modern habitats. Across the width of neuronal soma the energy would be about 1 picoJoule per second which is the magnitude of energy provided per second by glucose metabolism. The energies from a single action potential or from the force between the potassium ions that contribute to the resting membrane potential are almost a billion times smaller (Persinger, 2010). With the increasing myriad of communication transmissions novel "beats" (the subtraction of two frequencies) will emerge that are within the extremely low frequency range that could directly resonate (at least transiently) with the electrophysiology of the human brain."

Again, I have no idea if this is the cause here but I'd like to see the OP send this to her doctor. The test subject was isolated within a faraday room to prevent any emf from ruining the test.
We're bathing in multiple emf frequencies constantly If you live in an apartment complex you may have WiFi not only in your room but on all sides and above and below you as well plus cellular radiation too. Most of us don't have trouble but that doesn't mean a few don't
 
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nightlygem

nightlygem

La Joya
Sep 27, 2023
183
This thread is truly heartbreaking to read. Someone who is very clearly not in a proper state of mind to make these decisions. As someone who suffers from psychosis, I can understand why this person was refusing to believe that their delusions were incorrect. Sadly, it may take another life-threatening event for them to see their error; and even then, it may worsen it. And it's especially unfortunate to see another individual clouded by their previous education, refusing to believe that they can be incorrect.
I genuinely hope this person gets the help they need. Whether or not they have CTB'd, I wish them luck on their journey.
 
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ImTelling

ImTelling

Sad Doggo
May 27, 2024
144
Hey Timetodo24, I hope you're feeling OK. This is a wonderful breakthrough and I'm very upset by some of the messages I'm reading here. I would assume a forum like this would be a lot more understanding and compassionate but a lot of people here seem to have disdain for those who see the messages and the people who are going to find us and torture us.

I completely empathize with what you're going through. I've been gifted two sources (SN and Meto) JUST THIS WEEK and I feel like the universe is telling me that the cringe comedy they've cast me in needs to be canceled because it's getting too boring and too depressing. They want the show off the air. I feel like you've been given similar messages and I hope whatever you do you will find peace of mind from your tormentors. Sending love!
 
T

timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
Thank you to everyone has commented. I understand that you all mean well and just don't understand the situation. I appreciate most of you being kind and taking time despite that though.

@timetodie24 hey. I just wanted to say that no one here hates you. We support your right to choose if you're going to live or die. But that's not what's happening here is it? You're not choosing, someone else in your head is choosing. That's not ok. That's why everyone is trying to suggest alternatives at the moment.

You are not making this choice yourself. Even targeted individuals deserve the right to chose their own life and death; when, where, how, why.

Is the road, the vehicle, the date what you would chose? Why do you feel you have to sacrifice yourself to save others? You are more important than that. You have different, more important reasons to keep living.

You said the situation was causing you anxiety and paranoia. They can be treated and once treated you can then work again with those voices controlling you.

When is your nurses appointment?

Have you been forced to write anything else down or cut yourself again?
Yes it isn't the way and time I'd choose. I don't like it at all, it's not how I want to go and I know the method could have consequences for others. But i have to trust in those with the power, they'll protect everyone else, just need to do what they say
Appt. is next week but may be gone by then.
I'm sorry I'm just getting back to you. I don't see why anyone here would hate you. Please don't think that! But the not fitting in part I def get but I'm just too old to give a damn anymore. And if you fit in everywhere wouldn't you be just another conformist? I know you don't want that :ahhha:
So here's my theory - it's often called electromagnetic sensitivity but if you look up emf side effects or emf hearing voices , emf psychosis you'll find different articles on this. Also try cell phone radiation various searches and don't forget wifi. Dr Mercola is a guy I trust on giving the truth. He's got tons of articles on wifi and 5g. This is my reason for asking what I did. And I know it is a long shot and something many flat out will not believe . All I'm saying is look into it because I don't know if this is a cause or not . Before you act on any of this , if you think about it , removing yourself to another place with no wifi and away from a cell tower is far less drastic than what the voice is telling you. I cannot speak to the unexpected death of the person you knew but ever since the advent of covid and those "vaccines" , many people have died suddenly. They will bend over backwards to say they know it wasn't the shot without ever being able to confirm it . The big G and FB actively try to fact check anyone who states any of this including Dr Mercola and RFK jr. I"m not saying this was the cause mind you of this poor person's passing but these days sudden death with no cause or them saying it's normal now for a 20 year old to drop dead is far more common. Anyway , don't go off thinking you're not welcome here because it's really not like that here. I think it's obvious most people want to help you but just don't agree with you at this point. Here's one link I think to a good article . And please consider , if you can , go stay with an old aunt or relative as far away from the modern world as you can . Or find a remote airbnb perhaps. I hope some of what I'm saying can help you.
I'm coming back to edit this again. I know the link is a bit of reading but the more I read down the more it sounds kind of like you - the numbers part of it definitely . Here's a copy and paste from the article :

Testing the Hypothesis

A middle age female reported a history of multiple voices that were interpreted by her as "calls for help" from people trapped within a facility controlled by an intelligence system. The "voices" were also associated with "hearing-knowing" sequences of numbers that were organized in clusters typical of cell phone addresses. These number sequences, which she recorded, would be "received" for several minutes to an hour during any given episode. We randomly selected about 20 of these from hundreds of numbers and found most of them were or had been operational cell phone numbers (some were land lines).

Would you please look this over and come back and reply ? You're welcome to DM me as well if you want to .

Thank you so much for taking the time to suggest and share this research. I'll admit I'm not usually a believer of that kind of stuff and skeptical of the whole 5G conspiracy.
Reading it some of it does resonate though and can't rule it out I guess. I know people are really controlling me so it's not just emf but maybe they're using that ? Idk but can't test is as don't drive and only non local relative I have lives in a city so can't stay anywhere. also money is an issue, also living with my parents. Not an option for me to just suddenly take time away in middle of nowhere. And i can't put people in danger like that.
Thank you for your suggestions though
Hey Timetodo24, I hope you're feeling OK. This is a wonderful breakthrough and I'm very upset by some of the messages I'm reading here. I would assume a forum like this would be a lot more understanding and compassionate but a lot of people here seem to have disdain for those who see the messages and the people who are going to find us and torture us.

I completely empathize with what you're going through. I've been gifted two sources (SN and Meto) JUST THIS WEEK and I feel like the universe is telling me that the cringe comedy they've cast me in needs to be canceled because it's getting too boring and too depressing. They want the show off the air. I feel like you've been given similar messages and I hope whatever you do you will find peace of mind from your tormentors. Sending love!
thank you so much for believing me and being understanding. It helps me feel a lot less alone in a world that's against me. Everyone has different reasons and others ignorance doesn't negate my right to die. I hope you find peace too ❤️
 
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Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
609
Good morning @timetodie24. I'm really glad to see you're still managing to keep us updated on this post.

I am really sorry to hear that this isn't a method you'd choose for yourself. That must be so hard for you to manage - no wonder you're feeling so shit about everything.

Do you get any breaks from what's being said to you? You must be exhausted trying to please everyone but yourself. I know how hard that is, as it's something I do too. Do you think you can negotiate anything, like a week or two longer to see if different steps could be agreed?
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
9,610
You should never let others control you and your decisions. 🫂
 
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CocoToxBase

CocoToxBase

Experienced
Jan 8, 2024
242
Please don't involve innocent lives into your problems. I hate using this word but the only word to describe it is selfish. My friends dad was a truck driver for 12 years and now he's got severe CPTSD and cant even get into a car without having a PTSD breakdown. It's horrendous to watch how his life was affected by someone using their qualifications and truck as a way to end their own life. Yes you'll be dead and won't know the consequences but It has a HUGE detrimental effect on A LOT of lives. If you are hit by a truck over 50mph its going to leave a disgusting scene your body parts will be all over the road. You'll affect the emergency workers (Police, Ambulance and the council because their the ones who wash away all your guts and blood off the road) The driver will most likely develop PTSD and his career is over his parents or close relatives will probably have to take time off work/leave work to become a carer supporting them with their mental health. He/She could be happily married with kids and this traumatic event could possible leave him so dissociated with life the relationship goes to shit. You can seriously ruin so many lives using this method. If you want to CTB please find another method that doesn't involve innocent people.
 
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T

timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
Please don't involve innocent lives into your problems. I hate using this word but the only word to describe it is selfish. My friends dad was a truck driver for 12 years and now he's got severe CPTSD and cant even get into a car without having a PTSD breakdown. It's horrendous to watch how his life was affected by someone using their qualifications and truck as a way to end their own life. Yes you'll be dead and won't know the consequences but It has a HUGE detrimental effect on A LOT of lives. If you are hit by a truck over 50mph its going to leave a disgusting scene your body parts will be all over the road. You'll affect the emergency workers (Police, Ambulance and the council because their the ones who wash away all your guts and blood off the road) The driver will most likely develop PTSD and his career is over his parents or close relatives will probably have to take time off work/leave work to become a carer supporting them with their mental health. He/She could be happily married with kids and this traumatic event could possible leave him so dissociated with life the relationship goes to shit. You can seriously ruin so many lives using this method. If you want to CTB please find another method that doesn't involve innocent people.
I do hear you. I am a selfish and evil person. I don't want to involve anyone but this is lesser of evils and for greater good. There will be worse consequences for others if I don't and the driver and workers will be protected as long as I follow all the codes. This is the way to save lives.
 
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CocoToxBase

CocoToxBase

Experienced
Jan 8, 2024
242
I do hear you. I am a selfish and evil person. I don't want to involve anyone but this is lesser of evils and for greater good. There will be worse consequences for others if I don't and the driver and workers will be protected as long as I follow all the codes
I do hear you and understand you but how on earth are they going to be protected? How do you know that for certain? I don't think any 'codes' will help anyone in a situation where they have killed someone. Its about brain chemistry and psychological effects this will have on them. You only get one brain and when its ruined by someone else's wrong doing it takes a lot of time to get back on your feet and for some people they never do and will end up CTB'ing too which then again ruins more lives.
 
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timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
I do hear you and understand you but how on earth are they going to be protected? How do you know that for certain? I don't think any 'codes' will help anyone in a situation where they have killed someone. Its about brain chemistry and psychological effects this will have on them. You only get one brain and when its ruined by someone else's wrong doing it takes a lot of time to get back on your feet and for some people they never do and will end up CTB'ing too which then again ruins more lives.
I just trust they will. Those in control have altered my brain chemistry and completely messed up my life. So they can use those powers in the opposite way so that even if upsetting, it won't be life ruining for those involved
 
CocoToxBase

CocoToxBase

Experienced
Jan 8, 2024
242
I just trust they will. Those in control have altered my brain chemistry and completely messed up my life. So they can use those powers in the opposite way so that even if upsetting, it won't be life ruining for those involved
I'd say these are more psychosis delusions tricking you into believing that the worst wont happen when you don't know. Having worked in the ambulance myself I know these types of scene are very very traumatic and have long lasting psychological affects on everyone involved.
 
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E

Esokabat

Specialist
Apr 22, 2024
321
This is how the circle continues. One person's mental health issue and trauma becomes another person's mental health issue and trauma. It happens in families, it happens across generations, it is handed down in families to one generation to the next, it can happen to entire countries, ethnicities, historical traumas, and just random people bought together by chance. Actions have consequences. Once the cycle starts, it is very hard to stop. Goes from grandparents to parents to children. The cycle can be stopped but it requires a lot of healing.
 
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YouLookSoCool

YouLookSoCool

Member
Aug 7, 2023
11
this sounds more like psychosis, actually.
youre just going to traumatize the people in the vehicle.
This is what I was just thinking! The people in the lorry/truck are the ones I feel sorry for. They will have to live with the horror of running someone over. It's like people who jump I front of trains too 🙈🙈
 
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timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
This is different. I am going to save lives. Much more horrific things will happen otherwise.
If I don't - the rest of my family will die and I will be forced to also do some things so horrible I won't even type it here. So strangers lives will be lost and ruined too.
 
cowboypants

cowboypants

Experienced
May 7, 2024
222
This is different. I am going to save lives. Much more horrific things will happen otherwise.
If I don't - the rest of my family will die and I will be forced to also do some things so horrible I won't even type it here. So strangers lives will be lost and ruined too.
I feel like you should be with your family to protect them. You don't want your family to be weak right?
 
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timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
I feel like you should be with your family to protect them. You don't want your family to be weak right?
But they're only in danger because of me. The only way to protect them is to die.

I don't understand what everyone isn't getting. I follow the message and die the described way - my family are safe, the strangers I'd hurt are safe, I get death which I want, those around me get peace from me and no burden anymore which they want .
I don't die - my family die, strangers die and I end up in prison, I continue to suffer.

What is getting drugged and sectioned going to do ? Just sedate and gaslight me into not seeing what is happening as lives are destroyed because of me and powerless to help. Only bad comes from me living and only good comes from me dying .

It is simple. I don't know how people can't follow my logic ?
 
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Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
609
And what if you've misunderstood the messages? They seemed to be quite hard to decipher to begin with - for example when you first asked, there were a number of things you considered and a number of things other people suggested.

Why would anyone drug and section you? What reason might they have to consider this?
 
T

timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
And what if you've misunderstood the messages? They seemed to be quite hard to decipher to begin with - for example when you first asked, there were a number of things you considered and a number of things other people suggested.

Why would anyone drug and section you? What reason might they have to consider this?
I haven't, they've confirmed I'm right.

Well I don't think they'd have reason for meds or section. I was just responding to those here who have said I should but they're not professionals so their reasoning doesnt matter. I guess professionals rationale would be suicide plan and delusions. Just because some may see it as delusion but it's obviously not. Luckily the professionals i've already seen , see sense.
 
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Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
609
Ah ok. I echo what I said earlier, that must be so hard for you to deal with - I hope there is a delay or change of plans. It sounds like changing the method or plans could be something they'd do.

How would you feel if it was going to be weeks away rather than sooner?
 
S

SuicidalBoredom

Member
Apr 26, 2024
11


Yours must be the first type of delusion.
 
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cowboypants

cowboypants

Experienced
May 7, 2024
222
But they're only in danger because of me. The only way to protect them is to die.

I don't understand what everyone isn't getting. I follow the message and die the described way - my family are safe, the strangers I'd hurt are safe, I get death which I want, those around me get peace from me and no burden anymore which they want .
I don't die - my family die, strangers die and I end up in prison, I continue to suffer.

What is getting drugged and sectioned going to do ? Just sedate and gaslight me into not seeing what is happening as lives are destroyed because of me and powerless to help. Only bad comes from me living and only good comes from me dying .

It is simple. I don't know how people can't follow my logic ?
I mean they might be trying to mislead you na.

If you are comfortable I suggest sharing the messages you get here. Feel like I want to help you in this situation, so that you know you aren't alone.

I didn't mention of getting drugged. Not sure if that reply was for me?
 
iusedtobehappy

iusedtobehappy

Experienced
Dec 2, 2023
209
This is how the circle continues. One person's mental health issue and trauma becomes another person's mental health issue and trauma. It happens in families, it happens across generations, it is handed down in families to one generation to the next, it can happen to entire countries, ethnicities, historical traumas, and just random people bought together by chance. Actions have consequences. Once the cycle starts, it is very hard to stop. Goes from grandparents to parents to children. The cycle can be stopped but it requires a lot of healing.
Absolutely. I know someone whose husband killed himself off a bridge. The wife became severely mentally ill and the person who saw it admitted to PTSD several months later. Another friend's husband left her for another woman and she also became mentally ill to the point it eventually killed her. I have empathy but definitely some people will be traumatized in this situation and it is so sad.
 
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timetodie24

Arcanist
Apr 14, 2023
418
* sorry @cowboypants the first sentence of previous comment was in reply to you and then the rest was in general as multiple people suggested meds. Wasn't having go at you, just expressing my frustration and confusion to overall responses on here.



****** To everyone on Thread *****

Thanks all for comments. I know some of you have taken a lot of time to reply multiple times.

Thank you to those who have been understanding, who have empathised and genuinely tried to understand what I'm going through, even if if you couldn't.

Will agree to disagree with majority and move on from this thread as going round in circles now. Don't want to waste more peoples time and cause upset or arguments.
.
I have made up my mind. I have watched some videos of this method and it feels more doable the more I look into it. I've had more messages/voices and signs confirming I'm making right choice. I don't want to traumatise anyone but it's what has to be done for reasons already explained. I need to write note, arrange a few things for family, sort out how I'll get there and how i'll stay unseen until time. Maybe buy something to drink to reduce SI. Then I should be ready. I'm looking forward to it.

Take care everyone and thank you all . Wish all
Peace ❤️🫂
 
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Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
609
We'll still be here if you need to offload again in the future.
 
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D

doctordetritus

Member
Jan 5, 2024
12
Hi timetodie24. its is well and truly fucked that you are going through this. i am so sorry. but i was wondering, how do you know the entity is going to keep his word and your family will be safe? evil isn't really known for being trustworthy. what if you go through all of this and innocent people are hurt and then on top of that your family still isn't safe?

again, i am so sorry you are going through all of this.
 
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