pukiechan
woof
- Nov 4, 2024
- 4
i have next to nothing to live for anymore. im a mentally ill 5/10 made retarded by antipsychotics, high school dropout, no real friends, in love with and completely dependent on a guy who hates me, cut off from my small family, no aspirations, never had a job, only ever happy with drugs or alcohol, genuinely no hobbies, nothing im good at. i have nowhere to go anymore.
i have negative $ in my bank account and im 2k in debt to my boyfriend because i cost him an entire vacation because im low iq.
i tried to ctb in september, and in the process destroyed my relationship with my family and subsequently ran away like a child across the country to live with my bf who is now the only person and thing in my life, and he actively self-admittedly resents me enough to not even want to compliment me or make me feel "too loved".
i have three friends, all online, none of who im very close too, and the one im closest to i barely get to call.
im socially inept and too anxious and insecure to converse with anyone, even the people already in my life.
im at the point of desperation that i ask ai to talk to me and comfort me.
i have no one to talk to when im sad, nothing to do to make me feel better, nowhere to go to even cry it out. no therapy or medication, no money for my drugs or alcohol, just stuck rawdogging the despair and trying not to cry all the time, unless im showering or its 2am and everyones asleep.
i just want to feel better. i want to feel less alone. i want friends. i want to feel loved. i want to enjoy things again. i want to hate myself less. i want to be normal.
if anyone can lie and tell me its okay id be fine with that too.
i really genuinely just want to die in a car accident or something. whats the point.
i have negative $ in my bank account and im 2k in debt to my boyfriend because i cost him an entire vacation because im low iq.
i tried to ctb in september, and in the process destroyed my relationship with my family and subsequently ran away like a child across the country to live with my bf who is now the only person and thing in my life, and he actively self-admittedly resents me enough to not even want to compliment me or make me feel "too loved".
i have three friends, all online, none of who im very close too, and the one im closest to i barely get to call.
im socially inept and too anxious and insecure to converse with anyone, even the people already in my life.
im at the point of desperation that i ask ai to talk to me and comfort me.
i have no one to talk to when im sad, nothing to do to make me feel better, nowhere to go to even cry it out. no therapy or medication, no money for my drugs or alcohol, just stuck rawdogging the despair and trying not to cry all the time, unless im showering or its 2am and everyones asleep.
i just want to feel better. i want to feel less alone. i want friends. i want to feel loved. i want to enjoy things again. i want to hate myself less. i want to be normal.
if anyone can lie and tell me its okay id be fine with that too.
i really genuinely just want to die in a car accident or something. whats the point.
