its ramadhan... i hate it

[moya117]

i miss when people is just as loving as their religion teach them, but now that i remember, even as a child a lot of things happened and i just thought its normal, but now it becomes worse...
i feel bad whenever i feel that i hate islam, the logical me always said that its not the religion fault, i know that, its the people... but i can't help to feel disgusted whenever someone is islam
i feel like a horrible person, maybe i am.
i just expected the worst from muslims, years of torments from some of them, i can't forget it, i have not met any muslims that is not homophobic, see woman as a thing, and many more...
i know theres a lot of muslims that are good people, but i only see them online, never in real life, maybe i need to go out more?
their marriage thing just doesnt sit right with me, a man will offer something to his wife as a way to "buy" her, men can have 4 wives and not tell each of them

i hate that i live in java island, the way they teach islam is more... intense, forcefull even. they devided their own religion into parts that i don't bother learning, say if an owner believe in islam a and then want to hire someone, they will only hire islam a.
thats not the worst part tho, Islamic boarding school here is weird... a lot of them, no, all of their students are forced into submission, they bow when an ustadz simply walk across them and pause whatever they're doing just to do that, some of them (not all, i promise) convice the students to kiss their feet. there is a video from an islamic boarding school, a famous one, and i really like the ustadz before i see him and his wives doing something questionable, he mock a street vendor stupid because his food is not sold out as a "joke", he mock an elderly woman calling her ugly and sexually harassing her till she cried, and his wive is giving out bread while the students crawl (not completely like their hands and feent touching the ground but like sitting while squatting while walking).
Islamic boarding school here is full of predators, a lot of rape news come out like there is no ending to them.
i try to love islam again, i watch a lot of videos about certain things but i just felt nauseous, i dont know why, i want to love islam again, i dont want my heart to be full of hatred.

its ramadhan, i dont know if its a tradion or what, but here people put speaker soo loud that my house is shaking a little, and they go around the city on a car, not just one but multiple, i know you all excited about this day but can you at least not bothering people?
its ramadhan, it means people will come or i and my familly come get out and shake as many hands as possible, trying to earn each other's forgiveness, it means that i have to cover up, i have to wear hijabs or people will judge. "its just a piece of fabric" you might think, but no, i feel fulnurable whenever i wear it, im not even a muslim but i have to act like one or people will judge, its not me, i feel like im being forced into a submissive role as i see how woman being treated by most muslims, it reminds me of situations that i want to forget... being groped as they see me as a submissive and vulnurable person, im being groped more when i wear a hijab and i dont like it, i know its not the hijab fault but i just dont want to, i hate it.
i miss when ramadhan is just a peacefull day about forgiveness ang blessing, i miss when i was a kid and people dont see me as a woman

 

[Higurashi415]

I definitely see where you're coming from. I don't live in a country with a muslim majority, but I've debated with a few muslims that attend my university. What it looks like to me is that sensible people are sensible people no matter if they're muslim, christian or what have you. No religion can knock some sense in a senseless person's head.
That been said, there's a very high correlation between some pretty nasty things (such as rape, and treating women as inferior beings) and Islam, and not acknowledging this fact seems naive. It also does have some backing in their text, which is considered to be LITERALLY true in their religion, unlike the Bible to most christians, which is subject to interpretation, so it's a major flaw that makes it very different for Islam to evolve. Whereas christianity has changed quite a lot since the Middle Ages, there's not many ways Islam can ever evolve, existentially. Or at least, this is what it looks like to me, but I'm far from being an Islam scholar.

I'm sorry, it's really hard to be a female in such an environment, especially if you don't agree with it.

 

[pauly369]

Islam is a horrible mysoginistic ideoligy.
The funny thing is , is that they hate christians, yet their religion is actually derived from christianity and judaism.
Therefore Islam is actually an Abrahamic religion.
Oh the irony.

 

[Worndown]

Religion is supposed to bring comfort and community.
It has been the tool of wicked people for at least 2000 years as a means of control. You are dared to defy them and face draconian penalties.
It has been very successful for the chosen few.

 

[moya117]

I definitely see where you're coming from. I don't live in a country with a muslim majority, but I've debated with a few muslims that attend my university. What it looks like to me is that sensible people are sensible people no matter if they're muslim, christian or what have you. No religion can knock some sense in a senseless person's head.
That been said, there's a very high correlation between some pretty nasty things (such as rape, and treating women as inferior beings) and Islam, and not acknowledging this fact seems naive. It also does have some backing in their text, which is considered to be LITERALLY true in their religion, unlike the Bible to most christians, which is subject to interpretation, so it's a major flaw that makes it very different for Islam to evolve. Whereas christianity has changed quite a lot since the Middle Ages, there's not many ways Islam can ever evolve, existentially. Or at least, this is what it looks like to me, but I'm far from being an Islam scholar.

I'm sorry, it's really hard to be a female in such an environment, especially if you don't agree with it.

i know that sensible people are sensible no matter what their religious beliefs is, but as you said, how they treat woman horribly is litarally there in the quran and it just makes me sad, how can a religion of peace be like that? they always backing up their acts and beliefs about treating woman as objects with "women is like a precious jewel" and its funny cus they litarally compare woman to a thing, no matter how precious it is, jewel is an object. they want to "protect" women from the bad things by caging them, why can't they just like not let men stare into them? not let men see them as objects, which they already did in the book but still why force hijab to women, i know a lot of muslims says "we dont force it on you" but the quran litarally said that if you don't wear a hijab, theres punishment waiting. i hate it... islam is the religion i grew up with, as much as im not islamic anymore its like im still attached to islam, i can't describe it but it just feel suffocating

Islam is a horrible mysoginistic ideoligy.
The funny thing is , is that they hate christians, yet their religion is actually derived from christianity and judaism.
Therefore Islam is actually an Abrahamic religion.
Oh the irony.

from my schoolbook, they litarally write that quran is the perfect version of injil (book from cristianity).
they hate jewish till this day, some of them even support hitler

Religion is supposed to bring comfort and community.
It has been the tool of wicked people for at least 2000 years as a means of control. You are dared to defy them and face draconian penalties.
It has been very successful for the chosen few.

the thing is, muslim people did not hesitate to kill, if they see it as justifiable cus there is a lot of texts from quran to tell them that... and islam being a growing religion scared me so much as a queer person

 

[Worndown]

Yes.
We, as a people, have evolved in the last 2000 years. Generally our religions have not.
We should expect more of them.

 

[Goodfornothingbish]

Islam is a horrible mysoginistic ideoligy.
The funny thing is , is that they hate christians, yet their religion is actually derived from christianity and judaism.
Therefore Islam is actually an Abrahamic religion.
Oh the irony.

And Christianity is deprived from paganism and yet Christians hate them too. Christians are just as bad Muslims if not worse. Yall always on your high horses as if priest and pedo arent in the same realm.

 

[moya117]

And Christianity is deprived from paganism and yet Christians hate them too. Christians are just as bad Muslims if not worse. Yall always on your high horses as if priest and pedo arent in the same realm.

Yes.
We, as a people, have evolved in the last 2000 years. Generally our religions have not.
We should expect more of them.

i think we can all just aggree that religion ruined so many things more than saving people

 

[Goodfornothingbish]

i think we can all just aggree that religion ruined so many things more than saving people

Religion pries on the weak and broken. They always "accept" you at your lowest to build you up and break you.

 

[moya117]

Religion pries on the weak and broken. They always "accept" you at your lowest to build you up and break you.

some of them work that way, some of them just blame you for your lack of faith

 

[pauly369]

And Christianity is deprived from paganism and yet Christians hate them too. Christians are just as bad Muslims if not worse. Yall always on your high horses as if priest and pedo arent in the same realm.

Yeah, religions are all man - made control systems.
I despise them all.

 

[SilentSadness]

In my opinion it's a complete joke religion, even worse than Christianity. It was founded by a warlord and preaches blatant misogyny and animal cruelty. It's so bad that people join that religion just to get a free pass to be cruel to others. So I understand.

 

[HollowCreek]

Listen, you sound like the only person on that place that has their head on straight. You're not brainwashed. It's a shit 'religion' and I can't respect anyone apart of it. Honestly, it's more of a tool to enact supression and violence than anything (like other 'religions'). Never feel bad about being levelheaded. Move out.

 

[other-ghost]

I know Ramadhan just ended a few days ago, but i just found this post.. and i must say that I feel you. I'm also a muslim living in java and went to islamic school. What 12 years of studying in this environment (that has been so modified from tradition and all), is just pain, trauma, and hatred for the community.

All i got from this community is just invalidation. This is supposed to be a space for peace, yet i never even felt that all my life with this community.

I'm sorry that the people in this community— or 'religion' is treating you that way. I can't even imagine how you felt that time. It's hard to be a woman in this world— but worse if you're in this kind of environment, for sure.

 

[moya117]

Listen, you sound like the only person on that place that has their head on straight. You're not brainwashed. It's a shit 'religion' and I can't respect anyone apart of it. Honestly, it's more of a tool to enact supression and violence than anything (like other 'religions'). Never feel bad about being levelheaded. Move out.

i really wish i can, but i dont really have any income bcs my mother won't let me work, i get sick easily so my mom just refuse to let me work under other people. i still work under her though(if you even call it that, it's been on and off lately and always have been), but i don't get paid which is like understandable bcs i work like 4 months and then not needed again and the cycle continue. besides, even if i want to work (which i do) no one is hiring a highschool dropout. you have to at least finish high school to even apply for a job like watching store and even a babysitter, here even though the people are not the best, it is a lot safer in the night than in any other city or country. we can walk freely and not really have to be afraid that we're gonna be attacked or something, don't get me wrong, there's still danger but even compared to neighbor city, this place is the safest

I know Ramadhan just ended a few days ago, but i just found this post.. and i must say that I feel you. I'm also a muslim living in java and went to islamic school. What 12 years of studying in this environment (that has been so modified from tradition and all), is just pain, trauma, and hatred for the community.

All i got from this community is just invalidation. This is supposed to be a space for peace, yet i never even felt that all my life with this community.

I'm sorry that the people in this community— or 'religion' is treating you that way. I can't even imagine how you felt that time. It's hard to be a woman in this world— but worse if you're in this kind of environment, for sure.

as though i don't fully know your pain, i feel you. im really glad you survive that hellish islamic school, if you need someone to talk to, im here. im sorry you have to experience that