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MrHypnos

MrHypnos

Member
Nov 26, 2024
9
Hello everyone.

Long time lurker who has had many attempts over the past years. Funny enough I improved my life over the past several years by finishing school and getting an above average paying job. But my past issues with gambling and substances (Xanax and cocaine) has left me with literally a few hundred in my bank account and 40k of debt. I have no friends, single for several years, with nothing but work to show for it. I found out I am likely to be unemployed due to financial cuts in a month, without severance. I have reached my breaking point. I have no one and nothing left. No friends, no love life, or a family that I can open up to. I am almost 30 years old. I am tired. I have been hearing it gets better since I was 14 years old. Maybe I am too socially awkward, autistic, or just fucked up in my own my. But I can't take it anymore. I want to feel peace. I plan to drive to a hiking spot in my area and jump off a high cliff. Wish me luck. See you all on the other side.
 
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K

k1m

Member
Feb 6, 2025
30
Hey, want to talk about it? It helps to just get it off your chest.
 
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MrHypnos

MrHypnos

Member
Nov 26, 2024
9
Hey, want to talk about it? It helps to just get it off your chest.
I appreciate that, I really do. But I am beyond that. I am someone who has had a therapist and mental healthcare for over a decade. I am just not fixable. I want to feel peace. I want to go away.
 
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A

Aloneandinpain

Specialist
Dec 25, 2023
331
"Likely" isn't the same as definitely. Maybe find out for sure first?

The economy is doing great in the US, though obviously there will inevitably need to be massive cuts to out of control government spending. So if we're looking at odds, they're great if you're in the private sector and pretty bad if you work for the state.

I guess AI will cause lots of jobs losses eventually, but that has barely started overall.

I can't relate much to your gambling and substance abuse problems, but I've been single literally forever and don't have IRL friends so I get that part 110%
 
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MrHypnos

MrHypnos

Member
Nov 26, 2024
9
"Likely" isn't the same as definitely. Maybe find out for sure first?

The economy is doing great in the US, though obviously there will inevitably need to be massive cuts to out of control government spending. So if we're looking at odds, they're great if you're in the private sector and pretty bad if you work for the state.

I guess AI will cause lots of jobs losses eventually, but that has barely started overall.
I am in Canada and work in IT. I was supposed to hear about an extension 3 weeks ago… I have applied to over 50 jobs the past 2 months. I have gone through services with my university and a recruitment firm to look over my resume and train me for interviews. It's rough out here for my
field in Canada.

I work for the public sector. Who is going through major cuts for the next 3 years or more.
 
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k1m

Member
Feb 6, 2025
30
I appreciate that, I really do. But I am beyond that. I am someone who has had a therapist and mental healthcare for over a decade. I am just not fixable. I want to feel peace. I want to go away.
Not about fixing, but you have a whole life story, you must have seen a lot of things most people never will.
 
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MrHypnos

MrHypnos

Member
Nov 26, 2024
9
Not about fixing, but you have a whole life story, you must have seen a lot of things most people never will.
That may be true. But I have been mentally checked out for awhile. Death feels like relief
 
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SmellsLikeNapalm

SmellsLikeNapalm

Member
Aug 29, 2025
7
God speed man

I'm here if you wanna talk
 
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claracatchingthebus

claracatchingthebus

Clara seems to be waiting for something. But what?
Jun 22, 2025
250
They have bankruptcy in Canada


If you have no assets, who cares? Fuck over the system and "the man," declare bankruptcy, zero out all the debt, and live.

Go to gamblers anonymous and NA and fuck your creditors. Meet new people.



Im prochoice and support whatever you decide, but there are NA meetings all the time. www.na.org
 
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MrHypnos

MrHypnos

Member
Nov 26, 2024
9
They have bankruptcy in Canada


If you have no assets, who cares? Fuck over the system and "the man," declare bankruptcy, zero out all the debt, and live.

Go to gamblers anonymous and NA and fuck your creditors. Meet new people.



Im prochoice and support whatever you decide, but there are NA meetings all the time. www.na.org
Trust me I have considered that. But for me that means no employment in my field for like 5+ years. Virtually all jobs in my field require a security clearance which includes your credit history. A bankruptcy in recent years is basically an instant denial.
 
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claracatchingthebus

claracatchingthebus

Clara seems to be waiting for something. But what?
Jun 22, 2025
250
Trust me I have considered that. But for me that means no employment in my field for like 5+ years. Virtually all jobs in my field require a security clearance which includes your credit history. A bankruptcy in recent years is basically an instant denial.
Could you start your own cybersecurity consulting company? Or do something not involving IT?

Could you become a teacher of cybersecurity or IT in a school?
 
A

Aloneandinpain

Specialist
Dec 25, 2023
331
Trust me I have considered that. But for me that means no employment in my field for like 5+ years. Virtually all jobs in my field require a security clearance which includes your credit history. A bankruptcy in recent years is basically an instant denial.

What about just attempting a new life or even a new identity in a different country?

I personally don't have the energy or health for that, but I think it's a real option for some people here.
 
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MrHypnos

MrHypnos

Member
Nov 26, 2024
9
I only have like 3 years of IT experience and less than 1 year in security. Our colleges are super competitive. People with phD's are part time professors for many many years.

Additionally, many Canadian colleges/universities are facing gigantic financial cuts due to the reduced foreign student programs here.

Canadians as a whole are not doing great right now…
 
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claracatchingthebus

claracatchingthebus

Clara seems to be waiting for something. But what?
Jun 22, 2025
250
I only have like 3 years of IT experience and less than 1 year in security. Our colleges are super competitive. People with phD's are part time professors for many many years.

Additionally, many Canadian colleges/universities are facing gigantic financial cuts due to the reduced foreign student programs here.

Canadians as a whole are not doing great right now…
Could you work doing something without a security clearance? Could you teach IT in another country for a few years? With all the World tension going on, it could be a great time to view the Southern hemisphere! You could teach people in any sort of country...

If you went to NA and Debtor's Anonymous meetings you would make friends; you could get another computerish job doing something without a clearance.

Im pro-choice and I think you do have options if you want them. This is not that bad of a situation if you want to try to make things better.

Sorry things feel awful right now.
 
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Off_Switch

Off_Switch

Member
Aug 15, 2025
39
I can't blame anyone for not wanting to participate in this rat race anymore.
 
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MrHypnos

MrHypnos

Member
Nov 26, 2024
9
Could you work doing something without a security clearance? Could you teach IT in another country for a few years? With all the World tension going on, it could be a great time to view the Southern hemisphere! You could teach people in any sort of country...

If you went to NA and Debtor's Anonymous meetings you would make friends; you could get another computerish job doing something without a clearance.

Im pro-choice and I think you do have options if you want them. This is not that bad of a situation if you want to try to make things better.

Sorry things feel awful right now.
Maybe. I just don't have anything left in the tank right now.

I appreciate your understanding with all of this.
 
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katara

katara

tiktok.com/@katara3250
Mar 17, 2022
434
Similar, in my 20s, no friends, I'm sorry what u are going through. Not having anyone to open up to is what brought me here. I've been struggling for a long time. If I lived where you do I'd be ur friend, it really is the worst to be all alone.
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Enlightened
May 10, 2025
1,248
good luck, I hope you find relief from suffering 🫂:heart:
 
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unluckysadness

unluckysadness

Arcanist
Jul 9, 2025
424
I wish you peace ❤️🙏
 
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MrHypnos

MrHypnos

Member
Nov 26, 2024
9
Finished packing a bag of some food, water, and some pre rolled joints. About to head to a hiking trail outside my city that leads to a cliff. I feel calm and relaxed. A blissful end is so close I can feel it. So long everyone. I hope the rest of you can achieve a joyful life.
 
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Alexandra_

Alexandra_

Don't Fear the Reaper
Sep 30, 2023
613
I wish you good luck. It is very bitter to me to read about how fate was unfairly treated. She treated this way with many of us. I hope you succeed, no matter what you do 🫂
 
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