It’s finally time

[MrHypnos]

Hello everyone.

Long time lurker who has had many attempts over the past years. Funny enough I improved my life over the past several years by finishing school and getting an above average paying job. But my past issues with gambling and substances (Xanax and cocaine) has left me with literally a few hundred in my bank account and 40k of debt. I have no friends, single for several years, with nothing but work to show for it. I found out I am likely to be unemployed due to financial cuts in a month, without severance. I have reached my breaking point. I have no one and nothing left. No friends, no love life, or a family that I can open up to. I am almost 30 years old. I am tired. I have been hearing it gets better since I was 14 years old. Maybe I am too socially awkward, autistic, or just fucked up in my own my. But I can't take it anymore. I want to feel peace. I plan to drive to a hiking spot in my area and jump off a high cliff. Wish me luck. See you all on the other side.

 

[k1m]

Hey, want to talk about it? It helps to just get it off your chest.

 

[MrHypnos]

Hey, want to talk about it? It helps to just get it off your chest.

I appreciate that, I really do. But I am beyond that. I am someone who has had a therapist and mental healthcare for over a decade. I am just not fixable. I want to feel peace. I want to go away.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

"Likely" isn't the same as definitely. Maybe find out for sure first?

The economy is doing great in the US, though obviously there will inevitably need to be massive cuts to out of control government spending. So if we're looking at odds, they're great if you're in the private sector and pretty bad if you work for the state.

I guess AI will cause lots of jobs losses eventually, but that has barely started overall.

I can't relate much to your gambling and substance abuse problems, but I've been single literally forever and don't have IRL friends so I get that part 110%

 

[MrHypnos]

"Likely" isn't the same as definitely. Maybe find out for sure first?

The economy is doing great in the US, though obviously there will inevitably need to be massive cuts to out of control government spending. So if we're looking at odds, they're great if you're in the private sector and pretty bad if you work for the state.

I guess AI will cause lots of jobs losses eventually, but that has barely started overall.

I am in Canada and work in IT. I was supposed to hear about an extension 3 weeks ago… I have applied to over 50 jobs the past 2 months. I have gone through services with my university and a recruitment firm to look over my resume and train me for interviews. It's rough out here for my
field in Canada.

I work for the public sector. Who is going through major cuts for the next 3 years or more.

 

[k1m]

I appreciate that, I really do. But I am beyond that. I am someone who has had a therapist and mental healthcare for over a decade. I am just not fixable. I want to feel peace. I want to go away.

Not about fixing, but you have a whole life story, you must have seen a lot of things most people never will.

 

[MrHypnos]

Not about fixing, but you have a whole life story, you must have seen a lot of things most people never will.

That may be true. But I have been mentally checked out for awhile. Death feels like relief

 

[SmellsLikeNapalm]

God speed man

I'm here if you wanna talk

 

[User111885]

They have bankruptcy in Canada

How Bankruptcy Works for Debtors and Creditors in Canada

Debtors assigns non-exempt assets for the benefit of creditors, in exchange for which they are discharged from most debts. Learn more.

www.hoyes.com

If you have no assets, who cares? Fuck over the system and "the man," declare bankruptcy, zero out all the debt, and live.

Go to gamblers anonymous and NA and fuck your creditors. Meet new people.



Im prochoice and support whatever you decide, but there are NA meetings all the time. www.na.org

 

[MrHypnos]

They have bankruptcy in Canada

How Bankruptcy Works for Debtors and Creditors in Canada

Debtors assigns non-exempt assets for the benefit of creditors, in exchange for which they are discharged from most debts. Learn more.

www.hoyes.com

If you have no assets, who cares? Fuck over the system and "the man," declare bankruptcy, zero out all the debt, and live.

Go to gamblers anonymous and NA and fuck your creditors. Meet new people.



Im prochoice and support whatever you decide, but there are NA meetings all the time. www.na.org

Trust me I have considered that. But for me that means no employment in my field for like 5+ years. Virtually all jobs in my field require a security clearance which includes your credit history. A bankruptcy in recent years is basically an instant denial.

 

[User111885]

Trust me I have considered that. But for me that means no employment in my field for like 5+ years. Virtually all jobs in my field require a security clearance which includes your credit history. A bankruptcy in recent years is basically an instant denial.

Could you start your own cybersecurity consulting company? Or do something not involving IT?

Could you become a teacher of cybersecurity or IT in a school?

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Trust me I have considered that. But for me that means no employment in my field for like 5+ years. Virtually all jobs in my field require a security clearance which includes your credit history. A bankruptcy in recent years is basically an instant denial.

What about just attempting a new life or even a new identity in a different country?

I personally don't have the energy or health for that, but I think it's a real option for some people here.

 

[MrHypnos]

I only have like 3 years of IT experience and less than 1 year in security. Our colleges are super competitive. People with phD's are part time professors for many many years.

Additionally, many Canadian colleges/universities are facing gigantic financial cuts due to the reduced foreign student programs here.

Canadians as a whole are not doing great right now…

 

[User111885]

I only have like 3 years of IT experience and less than 1 year in security. Our colleges are super competitive. People with phD's are part time professors for many many years.

Additionally, many Canadian colleges/universities are facing gigantic financial cuts due to the reduced foreign student programs here.

Canadians as a whole are not doing great right now…

Could you work doing something without a security clearance? Could you teach IT in another country for a few years? With all the World tension going on, it could be a great time to view the Southern hemisphere! You could teach people in any sort of country...

If you went to NA and Debtor's Anonymous meetings you would make friends; you could get another computerish job doing something without a clearance.

Im pro-choice and I think you do have options if you want them. This is not that bad of a situation if you want to try to make things better.

Sorry things feel awful right now.

 

[Off_Switch]

I can't blame anyone for not wanting to participate in this rat race anymore.

 

[MrHypnos]

Could you work doing something without a security clearance? Could you teach IT in another country for a few years? With all the World tension going on, it could be a great time to view the Southern hemisphere! You could teach people in any sort of country...

If you went to NA and Debtor's Anonymous meetings you would make friends; you could get another computerish job doing something without a clearance.

Im pro-choice and I think you do have options if you want them. This is not that bad of a situation if you want to try to make things better.

Sorry things feel awful right now.

Maybe. I just don't have anything left in the tank right now.

I appreciate your understanding with all of this.

 

[katara]

Similar, in my 20s, no friends, I'm sorry what u are going through. Not having anyone to open up to is what brought me here. I've been struggling for a long time. If I lived where you do I'd be ur friend, it really is the worst to be all alone.

 

[darksouls]

good luck, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[unluckysadness]

I wish you peace

 

[MrHypnos]

Finished packing a bag of some food, water, and some pre rolled joints. About to head to a hiking trail outside my city that leads to a cliff. I feel calm and relaxed. A blissful end is so close I can feel it. So long everyone. I hope the rest of you can achieve a joyful life.

 

[Alexandra_]

I wish you good luck. It is very bitter to me to read about how fate was unfairly treated. She treated this way with many of us. I hope you succeed, no matter what you do

 

[chek]

Sorry to hear this. I wish you the best

 

[MrHypnos]

It didn't fucking work. A few months in the hospital after attempting and I still want to die. Fuck this.

 

[Terrible_Life]

It didn't fucking work. A few months in the hospital after attempting and I still want to die. Fuck this.

Man I am so sorry that must be horrible. How did you survive that and who did call the ambulance? Did the attempt left horrible impact on you by destroying bones etc?
Again I am so sorry when i read you post back then I was so sure you are dead Idk you seemed so ready for it.