It''s dehumanizing how lonely i am

[Chabrychek]

How can you be abandoned so many times in your life? God, how? How many more? I had so little, and all my life I just keep losing more. I feel like a wild abused animal

 

[iveseenfootage]

It's so crazy seeing how normal people live in comparison to us

 

[Navi]

people who abandon others are genuinely demons roaming the planet. i can't understand how someone can hurt someone else like that.

 

[Dejected 55]

I have taken to telling people, when they will listen, that I feel like the dogs in those videos that show up online... where they rescue a dog that has not been loved and only knows neglect or abuse... and the dog is so scared to let anyone near it, sure that it will be hurt more... and it makes me sad to see that, and it makes me sad seeing how people will be really patient and work to show an animal like that love again... but people will not put that same care into helping a wounded neglected unloved human being.

 

[ChemicallyCalm]

I really feel this, and almost exactly like an abused and abandoned dog I will keep loving again anyway just to be hurt and neglected again and again. it's really tiring and it hurts to see others have to feel like this too

 

[UmbraDweller]

Considering how many people walk this planet, I find it really strange that theres so many of us who don't have at least one person who genuinely cares. It should be rather easy these days, but it feels impossible.

 

[Dejected 55]

Considering how many people walk this planet, I find it really strange that theres so many of us who don't have at least one person who genuinely cares. It should be rather easy these days, but it feels impossible.

Truth be told, I think most people don't really have true love in their lives... it's just we are in the minority of people for whom it really matters and we really want to give and receive meaningful contact with another person. Most people it seems are fine with the pseudo relationships and surface level contact... so while they aren't really forming strong bonds either, they just don't care as much as we do. Ironically, people who care less and are more selfish actually have a better chance of navigating the world as it is constructed.

 

[Daisy*]

I feel this. This is the reason I'm planning to CTB though I don't want to. Most recently, my only family member, my sister, walked away because I told her I was suicidal due to her abuse. She said "you will NEVER see me again." So rather than stopping the abuse, she's abusing me more for responding normally. Yeah and she's a malignant narcissist so that doesn't help. This world is becoming colder it seems.

 

[Navi]

Considering how many people walk this planet, I find it really strange that theres so many of us who don't have at least one person who genuinely cares. It should be rather easy these days, but it feels impossible.

people are selfish, that's why

 

[UmbraDweller]

Truth be told, I think most people don't really have true love in their lives... it's just we are in the minority of people for whom it really matters and we really want to give and receive meaningful contact with another person. Most people it seems are fine with the pseudo relationships and surface level contact... so while they aren't really forming strong bonds either, they just don't care as much as we do. Ironically, people who care less and are more selfish actually have a better chance of navigating the world as it is constructed.

Life gets easier the less you care indeed. I wish I knew how to do it. How to stop wanting to connect with someone. There was a time when I felt peace when I was all alone, today I'm up at 3 am unable to sleep because I can't stop crying about not being able to talk to anyone. It's a crazy contrast. I'm constantly checking my phone like a maniac. As if anything ever pops up on it. I would rather throw it into a grinder for how empty this brick makes me feel, but at the same time it's the only thing that reminds me a little bit of how it feels like to be seen.

 

[Dejected 55]

Life gets easier the less you care indeed. I wish I knew how to do it. How to stop wanting to connect with someone. There was a time when I felt peace when I was all alone, today I'm up at 3 am unable to sleep because I can't stop crying about not being able to talk to anyone. It's a crazy contrast. I'm constantly checking my phone like a maniac. As if anything ever pops up on it. I would rather throw it into a grinder for how empty this brick makes me feel, but at the same time it's the only thing that reminds me a little bit of how it feels like to be seen.

Yeah, I check my phone all the time for messages that are almost never there... and for messages from a specific person who I know is never going to respond to me. There have been times in my life when I put my head down and focused on work and ignored everything else and for a brief time was able to distract myself... but eventually something comes up that snaps me out of it and I'm all too aware of having been alone all that time. People keep telling me to find hobbies or whatever to distract me from loneliness. I keep telling them that even when I do that, eventually I have to take time off from the hobby and it all floods back to me worse than before. It's like having an open wound that never heals, and you pinch yourself somewhere to distract from the open wound... but eventually the pinch is no longer distracting and you find the wound not only still hurts but has gotten worse due to lack of being treated all that time.

 

[gottagorightnow]

Truth be told, I think most people don't really have true love in their lives... it's just we are in the minority of people for whom it really matters and we really want to give and receive meaningful contact with another person. Most people it seems are fine with the pseudo relationships and surface level contact... so while they aren't really forming strong bonds either, they just don't care as much as we do. Ironically, people who care less and are more selfish actually have a better chance of navigating the world as it is constructed.

This is so real. And I hate it so much. Why can't people just be kind and care about other people? And you're right about true love. It's so rare. I wish I could harden my heart and not care but I guess I'm not built that way. It's weird seeing how many people are just kinda going through the actions, pretending to care but only caring about themselves and consumerism and all the bs that doesn't even matter.

 

[UmbraDweller]

Yeah, I check my phone all the time for messages that are almost never there... and for messages from a specific person who I know is never going to respond to me. There have been times in my life when I put my head down and focused on work and ignored everything else and for a brief time was able to distract myself... but eventually something comes up that snaps me out of it and I'm all too aware of having been alone all that time. People keep telling me to find hobbies or whatever to distract me from loneliness. I keep telling them that even when I do that, eventually I have to take time off from the hobby and it all floods back to me worse than before. It's like having an open wound that never heals, and you pinch yourself somewhere to distract from the open wound... but eventually the pinch is no longer distracting and you find the wound not only still hurts but has gotten worse due to lack of being treated all that time.

I've had similar periods in the past where I've been obsessed with something. Whether it was a hobby, topic to resesrch, game or a tv show. I would find myself not even thinking about the loneliness or any of the other bad things going on in my life. It's not that it's a bad advice, it genuinely can fill the void, but as you already said, the issue is that it's temporary. It's like slapping a glittery bandate on a missing limb. You either have to be creative with constantly finding new distractions, or be passionate enough about a few. But honestly who is even capable of keeping their attention on a single interest longterm like that. Certainly not me. It always comes with an expiration date. No matter how enjoyable it is, at some point it starts to feel draining, or too repetitive and boring. Or some crap enters my life and my attention shifts to where I loose all energy for joy.

 

[Dejected 55]

The thing about distractions is... they are distractions, not cures. The definition of a distraction, frankly, is something that temporarily moves your attention from where it is now to some other thing. Typically a distraction is used to divert your attention away from something more significant and towards something less significant. We generally are told not to let distractions interfere with our focus... except when people say we need to be distracted because they don't agree with where our focus is.

But... if our focus is wrong, we need a new focus... not a distraction. Distractions are not, by design, meant to be permanent. And whatever you were distracted from likely keeps happening while your attention is elsewhere, so when you eventually are no longer distracted, your attention returns to where it was only to find it has evolved while you weren't looking... and in the case of depression, it usually evolves for the worse. Distracting yourself from your problems doesn't make the problems go away.

 

[Jamesbond]

Mate my best friends are my bin men and i don't even speak to them just buy them a crate of Fanta every week. I get you x

 

[compulsoryaliveness]

Truth be told, I think most people don't really have true love in their lives... it's just we are in the minority of people for whom it really matters and we really want to give and receive meaningful contact with another person. Most people it seems are fine with the pseudo relationships and surface level contact... so while they aren't really forming strong bonds either, they just don't care as much as we do. Ironically, people who care less and are more selfish actually have a better chance of navigating the world as it is constructed.

Phew. Nicely put. Hard agree

 

[violetforever]

Most people it seems are fine with the pseudo relationships and surface level contact... so while they aren't really forming strong bonds either, they just don't care as much as we do. Ironically, people who care less and are more selfish actually have a better chance of navigating the world as it is constructed.

this is true and ive lived it. some people actually prefer those surface level relationships. i dont get it and i give up trying. they live "better" than me for it by at least having people around? id rather be alone and suffer in isolation than not have something meaningful and pretend its enough.

It's so crazy seeing how normal people live in comparison to us

this is so pathetic but sometimes i just observe people in person and online to see and admire how close their families or relationships are unlike mine.

Life gets easier the less you care indeed. I wish I knew how to do it. How to stop wanting to connect with someone. There was a time when I felt peace when I was all alone, today I'm up at 3 am unable to sleep because I can't stop crying about not being able to talk to anyone. It's a crazy contrast. I'm constantly checking my phone like a maniac. As if anything ever pops up on it. I would rather throw it into a grinder for how empty this brick makes me feel, but at the same time it's the only thing that reminds me a little bit of how it feels like to be seen.

u sound exactly like me oh my goddddd. i cant stop caring about this and its going to be the literal death of me.