its annoying how im at my most suicidal when i cant do anything about it

[Anonymous_Angel]

last night i was like totally im gonna kill myself!!!! but i wasnt able to so i didnt. but now i probably could if i really wanted to but man i just aint feelin it!!!!!!!!!!!!! has anyone else experienced this......

 

[kikewolf900]

Yeah it used to happen to me, like I was about to do it but I started to think about my mom and I started crying and just couldnt do it. What helped me is to think how shitty and worthless my life is and I dont get that feeling anymore

 

[Why am i still here]

I genuinely cant bring myself to ctb, it just always ends up as self harm cuz im too scared

 

[QueerMelancholy]

Eh, there's no rush. Can't really do something even when you want to do it but you don't feel ready to do it.

Gotta take it with the ebb and flow of the tides.

I could have probably killed myself today. There were a few hours where I was ready and willing but my SN isn't here yet.

I just hope I can feel that again in the future it does come and go. I don't think suicidal ideation is constant. Just because we want to die doesn't mean we want to kill ourselves. Those stars gotta align and it can be a rare occurrence.

 

[UKscotty]

There is no rush. Remember that CTB is literally the absolute last resort.

Recovery is possible until our very last breath.

It helps to be informed and prepared with a method though.

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

A few months ago I would've been so glad to have SN but now I've got it there's almost no desire to ctb. I think it's worse because I feel like I'll never be ready to die.

 

[Anonymous_Angel]

Yeah it used to happen to me, like I was about to do it but I started to think about my mom and I started crying and just couldnt do it. What helped me is to think how shitty and worthless my life is and I dont get that feeling anymore

that aint even whats goin on with me!!!! im not like crying abt anything or sad at all im just like
"ehh...im a little tired.... maybe tomorrow..."
n then its obviously not tomorrow.....

 

[kikewolf900]

that aint even whats goin on with me!!!! im not like crying abt anything or sad at all im just like
"ehh...im a little tired.... maybe tomorrow..."
n then its obviously not tomorrow.....

Lol same thing happen to me once. I was cutting my wrist (a very risky method since it's very hard to make it work) and I was so tired so I just fall sleep and woke up with a lost of scars that I had to blame the cat for.

 

[Anonymous_Angel]

There is no rush. Remember that CTB is literally the absolute last resort.

Recovery is possible until our very last breath.

It helps to be informed and prepared with a method though.

Good luck whatever you decide.

tbh i dont have an informed or prepared with a method... maybz i should!!! itd be neat

 

[burntboy]

i feel this. whenever i'm at my most suicidal i'm also so depressed i can't bring myself to do anything. i just lie there until i fall asleep or someone forces me out of the bed. guess i'm just a lazy coward.

 

[Timothy7dff]

Battling depressing, neurological issues, and deep state beatings, it's been slow going preparing everything. I wasn't suicidal before the latest beatings. However, once everything is set to go for CTB, I can get it done.

I think it helps to have a trigger. If you're just having a regular miserable day, it's tough to act. I think if I've got everything set up as far as methods, I'm almost waiting for negative momentum to ride.....something upsetting that will just nudge me over the edge. It's so hard to do it on just a regular bad day.