Discussion Is it weird/bad to want to be on a intimate relationship knowing I'm planning on ctb?

[sadee]

I've never had a lover but sometimes I'd wonder how it'd feel to get hugged and kissed by someone I have romantic feelings for. I want to try it for the first and last time before I leave. Not experiencing it would be still fine tho... ctb is more important right now

 

[Dovahki11n]

It's not weird, and if you had a chance to be with someone, go for it (who knows maybe that person will end up saving you from the suffering of life) but think of all the responsibility and the consequences of your decision . If you are planning to ctb, then you will just hurt your partner. No need to make them suffer.

 

[_Gollum_]

I was in this same position and decided that it was best to just CTB without ever experiencing romantic physical touch. If you believe that death is the cessation of subjective consciousness and experience then I don't think it makes sense to do any bucket-list-type activity before you die. You can only benefit from physical touch if you are alive. Once you're dead you won't have any wants or needs. And if this is someone you have romantic feelings for then you run the risk of hurting them by CTBing. If you are serious about CTB, these other wants can also be a huge distraction; it's best to stay focused.

Of course, most of the above only applies if you're going to CTB in the near-term (say within the next month or few months). If you're going to be alive for another year or something, then it's worth seeking out.

 

[Aknu132]

I've never had a lover but sometimes I'd wonder how it'd feel to get hugged and kissed by someone I have romantic feelings for. I want to try it for the first and last time before I leave. Not experiencing it would be still fine tho... ctb is more important right now

i feel the same bro, i want physical touch and love so bad but the person needs to be fucked up just like me, if the person is healthy and we fall in love i probally will hurt her.

 

[Pale_Rider]

I say go for it. It's a good part of life even though it's capable of bringing pain. Also realize it could cause you to change your mind about ctb even.

 

[DarkFriend.]

No, it's not bad.

As a human it is natural to want to be intimate with people at times. The truth is that sometimes, for some, relationships like this can stall, or completely prevent people from CTB. Whether that's a good or bad thing I won't debate here.

Though in my experience it is best to . . . disclose, at least some, of these feelings that people like us have if I am going to entertain the idea of a serious relationship. The last thing you want to do is pretend to be someone that you are not, and then have the truth blow up in your face like a bomb several months into a relationship.

 

[Lapdog6795]

It would be better if you clarify what you're expecting from a relationship.
If you're into it for physical intimacy, be clear about it.

Making someone emotionally dependent on you and then leaving them suddenly doesn't feel right to me.

 

[Maxzine9]

I say go for it. It's a good part of life even though it's capable of bringing pain. Also realize it could cause you to change your mind about ctb I just wanted to say I agree it can certainly bring pain, love's a double edged sword so to speak. But perhaps it's better to have loved than lost, than not to have experienced it at all.

 

[eggsausagerice]

Making someone emotionally dependent on you and then leaving them suddenly doesn't feel right to me.

it's pretty painful to read suicide bereavement posts. there's posts from sasu members dealing with their own loved ones committing suicide. i think it's kind of cruel to leave people behind to commit suicide after going through the effort to form a relationship with them, because if you kill yourself a few weeks or a few months into dating them they'll feel awful. i'm dealing with a craving for intimacy too but i know i can't be with anyone if i'm planning on dying within a few weeks. i'd actually hurt them more by knowing them and leaving than if i never met them at all.

 

[insectontrial]

Honestly? Depending on the laws in your country, and so long as you have the financial means, I'd suggest you hire an escort, rather than put someone who genuinely loves you through the grief and pain of you dying.

 

[litany_of_thoughts]

As long as you're not doing that with the expectation that you're looking for a long-term relationship, I don't think there's a problem there. But I'd be a little cautious about entering anything too serious if you're currently in the mindset of wanting to CTB, especially if you've not been in that situation before - it could complicate things quite a bit, and leave you feeling different/anxiously attached if feelings develop and you start to feel a little differently about life (just speaking from my experience here, but I've heard a lot of similar stories)

Equally though, there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to experience that kind of attachment before you do anything, and I'm sure you deserve to experience that with another! I'd implore you to explore it with the right person, but while keeping the above in mind

ETA: haven't made it clear enough in the first paragraph, but additionally DEFINITELY discuss with that person what your mental state currently is if it's anything beyond a single moment of intimacy, as much as your own mental health is important that'd be very unfair otherwise