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painofzed

Student
Dec 15, 2021
117
I've finally decided to do it and am getting everything ready for the next 2 weeks. The thing is I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I feel like a kid at Christmas. A little less than two weeks from today I won't be in constant misery anymore, I just won't be.
 
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PoisonousPotato

Student
Feb 1, 2023
105
It's normal to feel excited. If you're like me, this excitement is called hope, and it's not something I encounter often
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
46,753
I believe that it makes sense feeling that way and it's completely understandable. I think that if someone no longer feels trapped here and they know that they will soon be gone from this world it can be such a relief. At least to me, being free from this horrific world and being able to sleep for all eternity would be the best thing possible.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
14,372
I think this is actually quite common... When you think about how suicides are often reported in the papers- 'Everyone was so shocked because the person seemed to be getting better. Even seeming to be more optimistic than before.' I mean- it makes sense to us- OF COURSE they were! They were FINALLY coming to the end of their struggle. I imagine most prisoners look forward to getting out of jail in the last few weeks of their sentence.

I can't wait to not have to worry about the future. If I have the health, wealth and time, I'm planning to have a nice time before I CTB. I may even take a holiday, or a few mini breaks. That doesn't mean life is worth it in the long run though!
 
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emptybox

emptybox

Member
Nov 27, 2022
43
I'm extremely excited to escape the burden of being alive, not excited about having to do it and the process of doing it though. So I have mixed feelings. Normal or not, it feels better to be excited so I prefer that and try to keep myself excited. There's nothing else that causes this feeling.
 
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itsallpointless

Experienced
Feb 9, 2023
212
I think what you're feeling is hope. Kind of like the feeling of being locked in a cage and just now being able to exit. I am the same
 

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